Welcome to Day 3 of the July Open Write. If you have written with us before, welcome back. If you are joining us for the first time, you are in the kind, capable hands of today’s host, so just read the prompt below and then, when you are ready, write in the comment section below. We do ask that if you write, in the spirit of reciprocity, you respond to three or more writers. To learn more about the Open Write, click here. 

Our Host

Susan Ahlbrand will be starting her 36th year of teaching 8th grade English/language arts in the small southern Indiana town of Jasper.  When not preparing lessons or grading papers, she enjoys reading and writing, binge-watching shows with her husband, attending sporting events, and heading off to visit one of their four kids who are scattered across the Midwest and South.  April is her favorite month since it’s filled with daily poetry-writing challenges prepared by the most incredible community of humans.

Inspiration

Relationships and connections are vital in our lives.  So often, we have people or things or activities or places that are entirely separate.  Occasionally, those separate things have some overlap, some times or ways that the two things are similar or come into contact.  In the end, even the most seemingly opposite people, concepts, etc. have more in common than we realize.

Process

Brainstorm a list of people, places, activities, events in your life. Or, list some polar opposites in line with the following list:

liberal/conservative
teacher/student
parent/child
husband/wife
book/movie
urban/rural
day/night
heaven/hell
forgive/blame
beer/wine
coffee/tea
humanities/STEM
the list is endless . . .

Choose a pair from your brainstorm. Create a Venn Diagram for them. Within the left circle, brainstorm ideas that relate to the first topic. Within the right circle, brainstorm ideas that relate to the other. In the overlapping area, list things that the two share or create a clever connection that most people don’t think about.

Use your brainstorming to inspire a poem. Structurally, you could have three stanzas . . . one about Topic A, one about Topic B, and one about the connection/overlap. Or, even reverse it and start with how the topics are similar then move out to how they differ. Or let the form flow organically from what you uncovered in brainstorming.

If your brain is not up to storming this morning, there are numerous This or That? sites that can get you thinking of things that are typically viewed as opposites. CLICK HERE for one.

Next Level: I was proud of myself for “creating” this poetry form.  Then, I thought to Google it and realized that it indeed was already out there, but with more of a challenge. I came across a blog by an Oklahoma educator named Jason Stephenson who featured some wonderful examples. Digging deeper, I discovered that Brian Bilston, the “unofficial poet laureate of twitter” seems to have posted the form first.  So, if you are up for the challenge, you actually write the poem in the Venn diagram so it can be read in a variety of ways.  It’s word play at its best.  An example:

So, lots of options today, and, as always, anything goes.

Susan’s Poem

An Attempt for Each 

day and night

light
full of possibility
energy
activity

dark
full of fear
isolation
stillness

twilight and dawn
hold the best of both
hazy half light
hazy half life

living in
the in-between

~Susan Ahlbrand
6 July 2023

Your Turn

Now, scroll to the comment section below to write your own poem. (This is a public space, so you may choose to use only your first name or initials depending on your privacy preferences.) Not ready? That’s okay. Read the poems already posted for more inspiration. Ponder your own throughout the day. Return later. And, if the prompt does not work for you, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Just write something. Also, please be sure to respond to at least three writers. Oh, and a note about drafting: Since we are writing in short bursts, we all understand (and even welcome) the typos and partial poems that remind us we are human and that writing is always becoming. If you’d like to invite other teachers to write with us, tell them to subscribe. For suggestions on how to comment with care. See this graphic.

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B C

Religion/Queer

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Michael C

I really enjoyed this prompt! I tried to write about finding the balance between being a student and having a home life.

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B C

Both can be fun, both can have challenges
I like that you don’t have “read” in school- reminds me of that time the professor left the room and you admitted you hadn’t done the reading and I lent you my book- haha!

Emily Theunick

This has been a challenge to think through my writing process and create something poetic. But I do thank you for the challenge.

Sweet and Salty

*sweet
melty
smiling
crunchy
soothing

*salty
diving with a spoon
sticky
mashing

peanut butter spoon freckled
with
cheap chocolate chips
poor girl’s recesses peanut butter cups
delightful

Mo Daley

Here’s my late attempt!

Mo Daley

Here’s my late attempt!

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Stefani B

Susan, I didn’t get a chance to create/write yesterday but enjoyed this prompt and the outcomes.

Susan Ahlbrand

I truly appreciate all of you who grappled with this challenged prompt today. I think I would have backed down had someone else presented this. 🙂
I love how many different approaches people take, and I really love how people post feeling as if it’s not complete or their best work. That vulnerability–and trust–is what makes this community so special. I will circle back in the morning in case I missed anyone’s post. Thanks for participating!

Allison Berryhill

I had a difficult butting of heads with a fellow teacher at the end of the year. I am using the summer to “let it rest,” but I must also find a way forward. The Venn diagram idea invited me to look for our overlap. This isn’t much, but it’s a start.

My Colleague and I

She is / I am / a teacher
Newly / 25 years / in action
Black and white / only gray / sees
Both of us digging in our heels.

Susan Ahlbrand

Oh, the butting of heads with a young teacher. Both so passionate but experience and knowledge (and perhaps a little cynicism) makes it hard for us to not dig in our heels.

It’s great as is but I would love to see it if you end up elaborating more because I just dealt with a very similar situation.

Leilya

Allison, I hope this beginning brings you some comfort. As someone who taught for many years and now prepares future teachers, I can understand both you and that young teacher. As long as kids and care for them are at the heart of your teaching, you both have the right to do it the way you choose. After a few years, she will understand that there’s more gray than white and black in teaching too. Thank you for sharing! I love the middle section “I am 25 years only gray.” It sounds so noble to me.

Denise Krebs

Allison, good idea to look for overlap in you and your colleague. I’m sure as you finish this summer of letting it rest, you will gain wisdom. I can see you digging in your heels to make sure the gray nuance is respected. All the best to you!

Wendy Everard

Allison, I loved the slashes and the feel that they gave this poem! Genius move.

Stacey Joy

Brilliant format and choices! I think if you had shown me how to do this, I would’ve felt more successful. LOL. But it was fun! Get ready to dig in your heels!!

Hugs!

Cara F

Allison,
As someone who is in the same experience range that you are, I am beginning to feel this, too. New teachers who are SO sure they know better, that I must be doddery and worn out in my “advanced” state. You captured it well. I feel you!!

Allison Berryhill

Susan, thank you for this thought-provoking prompt! I appreciate the differentiated on-ramps you gave us. Your students (we!) benefit from your sensitivity to our various needs.

Katrina Morrison

Susan, thank you for providing such a fun prompt, which we can use in our classrooms. I really didn’t intend to write another dog poem. Alas…



Corgis.png
Allison Berryhill

Katrina! You nailed this prompt! I loved meeting both of your corgis in this clever blending. I’m impressed!

Susan Ahlbrand

Katrina,
This needs to hang in the locale humane society (or whatever places to rescue dogs may be called in your area) as testimony to how wonderful rescue dogs are or can be! You certainly mastered the writing this so it can be read multiple ways and showcase the corgis similarities and differences.

Wendy Everard

Katrina, I loved everything about this: how you could read it different ways and get different results, the colors…and we have a Corgi, too! They are just little dears.

Jessica Wiley

Susan, thank you for hosting today and sharing the two variations of your poem. I would’ve never thought of using a Venn diagram to write poetry. Your process definitely had me thinking. I will have to check out Brian Bilston and attempt that at a later time. The words that resonated with me in your poem were: “full of possibility”, “activity”, “isolation” and “stillness”. Those words/phrases remind me of what I see and feel in myself and what I wish to be (forced introvert). I had just finished watching a webinar regarding Black women in society and the main theme I got out of it was “identity”. My opposing words were” lost” and “found”. Here’s my poem.

Lost and found

Forgotten dreams and helpless thoughts
Desperate for no way out 
Feeling alone in the solitude

Relief from the silence
Saved by the crowd
A celebration of closure 
Running to familiarity 

A purpose for both 
Emotional feelings of highs and lows
Metaphorical expressions or physical 
Looking to belong

Allison Berryhill

Jessica, thank you for this gift of a poem. As you sway between the ambiguities of solitude/connection, silence/crowd, I find myself (re)experiencing my own times of feeling lost and found.

Jessica Wiley

You’re welcome, Allison. I’ve had a lot of time to think. Ooof!

Susan Ahlbrand

Jessica,
You definitely highlight the pros and cons of being both lost and found. I really relate to

saved by the crowd

especially when I feel that I can get lost in it.

Jessica Wiley

Yes Susan. It can be a struggle to want to belong and to want to be alone.

Wendy Everard

Jessica, I love the sense of conflict that you captured here! Loved:
“Feeling alone in the solitude”
and
Relief from the silence
Saved by the crowd
A celebration of closure 
Running to familiarity”

I’ve been feeling these a lot this summer and could totally relate!

Jessica Wiley

Me too Wendy. This was a great way to get it out! Thank you!

Donnetta D Norris

Summer Venn Diagram

Summer Venn Diagram Ethical ELA July 2023.png
Susan Ahlbrand

Absolutely perfect, Donnetta! You capture the fleeting quality of summer so well. I really like how you have multiple questions in your diagram. They are the things we all ask!

Allison Berryhill

Donneta! I always write my poems before reading others’, but I’m realizing tonight I should have seen how several of you mastered this idea! Reading the (two/three) poems is a mental treat! (And you’re singing my song: Summer break, where have you gone? <3

Jennifer Kowaczek

Donnetta, your poem is just perfect! Very relatable for sure.
Thank you.

Leilya

Thank you, Donnetta! I noticed a couple more poems about fleeting summer today. Your poem reminded me about a visit with two of my former students—now teachers— who both refused to count the days before the school begins in two weeks. Who can we ask for more time indeed? I like the central question you ask too.

Wendy Everard

Donnetta, I loved this and how reading it different ways produced different meanings: and I loved the visual imagery!

Stacey Joy

Donnetta, you nailed this like a champ! I love the questioning as I sit here avoiding looking at the time or the calendar! Have I done all that I hoped? Will I be ready?

Ho hummmmmm.

Cara F

This is awesome, Donnetta! Yours flows in both directions so nicely! Well done and a perfect pairing.

Michael C

This is my first summer break as an educator and I am truly learning the value of it every day, but you are right, it is going by so fast! Part of me is happy about this and I’m ready to get back to school, but also who doesn’t love summer?!

Rachelle

Susan, I loved every example! I wish I had more time to spend on this today, but it’s definitely getting marked as one to come back to. I love the ending “living in / the in-between”

My poem was inspired by Cara F’s poem yesterday!

Rainy Season:

rain falls like curtains
fields of verdant green grasses
recharging the earth

Summer:

sun paints me golden
thirsty, dry vegetation 
recharging the soul

Both:

seasons come and go
living life in the extremes
I’m grateful for each

Susan Ahlbrand

Rachelle,
Living in Indiana, I have always appreciated our four seasons. I think the key is to embrace the positives of each, and that’s what you do through this poem. I especially like how you echo the

recharging with

and end differently with earth and soul.

Allison Berryhill

Hey girl, get back here to Iowa!
“sun paints me golden” was a line I FELT on my skin!
I love your poetry.

Leilya

Love your generous imagery, Rachelle, with beautiful lines describing rainy season and summer! Thank you for this poem!

Wendy Everard

Rachelle, loved your creative structure for this and your elegant haikus!

Cara F

Rachelle,
Thank you for the homage! I love these seasonal celebrations of our very distinct times of the year, “living life in the extremes” is so apt!

Cara F

I wanted to take on the challenge of making one like Jason Stephenson’s, but it was quite a bit more frustrating than I anticipated. My oldest is home from two weeks fighting fires in Quebec, so I combined our summers–rather badly, but I’d rather spend time with him than continue tinkering. :/

Venn Diagram Poem 7 17 23 .jpg
Jennifer Kowaczek

Cara, first I want to thank your son for his service to fire fighting.
I think you did a fine job combining your summers in this poem.
Thank you,
jennifer

Susan Ahlbrand

Oh, Cara, you sell yourself short. This is so well done, especially with very little tinkering!
What a blessing to have your son home and be able to spend some time with him. What a brave man to be fighting those fires.
I think the word “toil” is what really propels this poem.

Allison Berryhill

Oh yes! TOIL connects both lines of work. <3

Rachelle

Cara, you may not be happy with it, but I think you did a great job. These are some challenging (and exciting) restraints to work with. I’m hoping you can enjoy your son being home for the timing being. The middle “ven” poem is such a powerful stem.

Allison Berryhill

Cara, I am impressed with the overlap you expressed here. Your poem pulled me back and forth between “teacher summer” and “Canada fires” the smoke has been here in Iowa for several days). I am awed by your son’s efforts, and by your deft connecting his work to yours. Wow.

Wendy Everard

Cara,
Loved the duality of summer in this poem! And many thanks to your son for his hard and dangerous work!

Jennifer Kowaczek

Once I thought of the topic, this poem came quickly.

Running Sports

Cross Country
When you run
focused on your
personal best
win the race
Always

Track
Run relay with
your team —
best foot forward
race to the end
Always

Both Sports
Run
your
best
race
Always

Susan, thank you for this prompt and challenging us to play with words in a new way today. I chose to write the middle (or connection) first and then work around that.
This poem is inspired by my daughter, the runner. She had spent this past month waking up at 4:50 every weekday for cross country camp. And this past week, she joined members of the track and field team for open gym opportunities.

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klh

Jennifer, nicely done for sports I’ve never competed in 😉 But truly I like that you contrasted track and cross country. It’s not something I would have thought to be different enough to do this for, but you did it wonderfully!

Susan Ahlbrand

Jennifer,
Running, be it track or cross country, takes such dedication. Getting up at 4:40 every day as a teenager is super impressive.
Writing the connection first was the same strategy that I took. I did make it a little easier that way.
You should give this to her as a reminder of how proud you are of her and how the effort is what the two activities share.

Jessica Wiley

Jennifer “Run your best race Always” sounds like a goal for life in general. I’m far from athletic, but I always strive to do my best no matter what. Staying focused and putting our best foot forward are pieces of helpful advice when wanting to do something. We may not always when, but it’s satisfying as long as we did our best. Thank you for sharing.

Kim Johnson

Jennifer, I love this! I am a former runner (I dabble still), my parents were both runners, and my son ran on a college scholarship to University of SC (where he met his wife, also a CC runner) – – and I know all too well all the mental state of that first stanza. The competition is never someone else in running, but always yourself. An independent sport in so many ways, despite the throngs out there in any race. The new PR is always just over the next horizon…..I love what you’ve done here! I hope your daughter had an amazing time at CC camp.

Emily Theunick

I enjoyed your creativity on this poem. It makes me think of running in different ways creative, which no seems like a silly thing to say. But running is not just running it’s a love.

Wendy Everard

Hi, Susan! Neat, inventive prompt! It got me thinking about the disconnect between humans and nature…and my new app that has allowed me to bridge the gap a bit. 🙂

Language Lessons

Merlin’s magic, bird by bird,
renders the unheard of
Heard.  

With one swift stroke 
of nimble finger,
on my phone the birdsongs 
Linger.

I’ve finally done it:  
Met the neighbors.
Ears no longer 
strain to labor –

Sorting song from puzzling song:
Some notes short, and some ring on.

Now even I can say I’ve heard
A warbler’s song and not songbird:
The squalling meow of catbird, grey:
(Oh!  That weird bird makes my day.)

Pee-Wee’s name his cry recalls
And Overbird’s crescendo’d call
Yellowthroat rounds out the morn:
The birds are here, the day is born.

Scott M

Wendy, this was a lot of fun! I love your rhyme throughout; it helps underscore the play of your poem. And I think my favorite lines are “I’ve finally done it: / Met the neighbors.” Thanks for this!

klh

Wendy, like what Scott said, how fun! You had great rhyme – that’s something I struggle with and you handle like a champ here. Such good rhythm, thanks for creating!

Susan Ahlbrand

Wendy,
I love to see that you worked rhyme in. It really helps bring the magic. I absolutely love these lines:

renders the unheard of

Heard.  

Kim Johnson

Wendy, I love Merlin, too! This poem rounds out the day magically – – there is so much out there to hear in birdsong. I’m reading How to Be a Bad Birdwatcher by Simon Barnes and enjoying all he shares about his favorite hobby. That last line – – the birds are here, the day is born is music to my ears! What is your favorite birding experience?

Wendy Everard

Kim, thanks for this: I have to get that book!

So, the other day, as my friends and I kayaked around a reservoir, we spied a bald eagle circling close overhead. As we stopped to watch and fumble unsuccessfully for our cameras, he made a beeline toward us, talons extended and skimmed the water feet from us! No fish. Again, he circled us and repeated the same maneuver, with no success, retreating to a tree to watch us (“Get away from my fishing grounds!”) until we left. Which taught us to be better prepared with our cameras while kayaking. 🙂

How about you? Favorite birding story?

Tammi Belko

Susan,

I love this prompt and both your poems! I can’t wait to try this one out with students. I tried the Venn Diagram approach first, but couldn’t get my compare section to say what I was trying to convey. It just wasn’t happening today, but I will definitely try it again soon.

Sunshine & Rain
Sunshine is
unbroken by clouds  
while perspiration gathers on brows 
heat converts to energy,  
cascades to Earth &
life blooms in harmony.

Rain 
the gorged clouds
unleash precipitation & the trees bow
pitter patter on window panes &
fat droplets of Earth quenching rain.

Sunshine & Rain
Sunbeams may usher a happy summer beat
but rain gives the world permission to weep.

Susan Ahlbrand

Tammi,
The Venn diagram part is far from easy . . . or at least I felt that way. What you created does a fantastic job of showing us the beauty in both sunshine and rain. Your descriptions are memorable, especially

cascades to Earth 

and

the gorged clouds

klh

Tammi, I like the poem/rhyming structure within your venn diagram poem! Also, the contrast of sunshine and rain being described, both, in beautiful ways with some really great imagery! I especially like the last section, “rain gives the world permission to weep.” What a perfect connection between rainy days and emotions.

Jennifer Kowaczek

Tammi,
I love how you bring out the best of sunshine and rain.
jennifer

Jessica Wiley

Oh,Tammi! “But rain gives the world permission to weep”. That phrase is so powerful, yet funny because I don’t like to be hot or get wet. Our life will not always be sunshine, but the rain answers the suffering we may endure from the heat we bear Thank you for sharing.

Emily Theunick

You have created a beautiful image for me to put myself into. I can truly feel them both.

klh

This was a challenge, but a good one! Thank you!

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Tammi Belko

I love the way you’ve captured both of these qualities and shown how both the extrovert and introvert desire the same things “to enjoy life”.

Susan Ahlbrand

Your overlapping space being driven by verbs really makes this work. It so clearly expresses what these “opposites” embrace, but at the end they

enjoy life

from their different vantage points.
Kudos to you!

Jennifer Kowaczek

Thank you for showing how introverts love life. What a great focus for today’s prompt.
Thank you!

Michael C

I really liked this poem and Venn diagram you created! It does a great job showing how no matter introvert or extrovert, we are all the same people striving for the same things in life. Very well put and designed!

Margaret Simon

I took a while to tackle this challenging but excellent prompt. I was determined to do the next level and created mine in Google slides. I borrowed the center line from Sarah Donovan. I hope you don’t mind. It is a comparison of home and school for my main character Chiara, who is an only child and her grandmother gives her a notebook to write in. Sarah’s line was just what I needed to build her character. She’s an only child. School at this point is virtual. Thanks for giving me the space and time I need to get back into this project.
I hope everyone is OK with me borrowing poems as models to teach this form this school year. It’s such a puzzle that it will challenge my gifted writers. Thanks.

Chiara Venn Diagram Poem.jpg
Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Oh, Margaret. There is something initially stunning to see the sphere in the middle holding the “breathe words in spaces between.” Thank you for honoring me in this lifting and revisioning a line. This contrast is visible in color and space but linked in breath, offering space of healing toward being self.

Sarah

Tammi Belko

Margaret,

“I breathe words in spaces between” is so powerful! Chiara’s character comes alive in this Venn Diagram and my heart breaks for her.

Anna J. Small ROSEBORO

Margaret, it is interesting the ways that topics from earlier times in a session, find their way into later poems. But, as often is the case, your poem does a fine job of addressing both the issue of wearing masks and having different experiences in different places. Your central lines remind me of the reason I came to appreciate the long drive to and from school.(45 minutes). On the way to work, by the time I got to school, home issues had been packed away and I could begin focusing on school. By the time I got back home – school was over. Hallelujah! I could be a mother and wife…most evenings.

Susan Ahlbrand

Margaret,
I love how the author in you is revealing how well you know your characters that you can craft poems as them. While I doubt this poem form will make your novel, it helps you to dig deeper on Chiara and reveal truths about her.

Stacey Joy

Hi Susan, wow, you made this look so easy and fun! I struggled but pushed through. I think I was trying too hard. I wanted to honor my dear sisterfriend for her 60th birthday and came up with something short and sweet. I think it works reading the sections separately or together. Thanks for this challenge. I enjoyed my productive struggle!

I loved your description of day and night in these lines:

twilight and dawn

hold the best of both

July 17th Venn Diagram Poem.png
Susan Ahlbrand

Stacey,
What a wonderful homage to your sweet sisterfriend! The background picture of her really makes this into a nice gift for her special day. Indeed, the sections can be separate or flow together a few different ways. I think that’s what makes this poem form special!

Anna J. Small ROSEBORO

Stacy, Susan says what I was going to say. What a lovely tribute to a dear friend. And, because of friends like her, retirement is likely to be just fine. And, with groups like ours here on OPENWRITE, there remains a community who understands to sad, mad, glad realities of retired educators.

Tammi Belko

Stacey,

“Dope soul” really made me smile. Your sister friend sounds like a fantastic person! Happy Birthday to her!

Denise Krebs

Oh, Annamarie is going to love this beauty. That is gorgeous, touching, and such lovely sentiments about this special treasure of a person.

Michael C

Hi Stacey,
I really liked this tribute and the creative touch you put on this poem! I think this poem does a great job showing educators are more than just “subject or grade teachers”, they are real human beings that make a deep impact on those around them.

Sam Preston

What an inspirational poem Susan! I love your use of day and night, as this was the option that popped out to me first! I love how you describe it as an “in-between”, this gets me thinking that things that we tout as opposite also have quite a bit in common!

I have to admit, I struggled more with this poem than others. I decided to keep it simple and focus on night and day.

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Susan Ahlbrand

Sam,
It sure is a struggle to compose these poems, isn’t it? I absolutely love how you bring kids and adults into the equation and how one doesn’t want to go down and one doesn’t want to get up. Truth! I was very much grabbed by you have night being

free from light

That brings up a lot of thoughts in my mind. Maybe light isn’t all that great if it being gone makes one free!

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Sam,

Thank you for this representation of contrast. I enjoy reading it in multiple ways — across and side by side to see what can be revealed in between. Yes indeed, “we do hard things.”

Sarah

Tammi Belko

Sam,

I sure remember those days when my “kids don’t [didn’t] want to go down”. Those were exhausting days and it sometimes seemed like the days and nights bled together.

Leilya Pitre

It’s me again. Sorry. My daughter just posted this on Facebook, and I thought I just had to share. It is not a poem, but could very well be. She did not know about our Open Write prompt today.

It Is Possible.jpg
Susan Ahlbrand

Love this so much, Leilya! I’d love to get a few rigid-thinking people to hang this in their classrooms to illustrate this “math concept.”

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

The universe is speaking!

Tammi Belko

Leilya ,

I think this really demonstrates the complexity of people. We are not just black and white and circumstances bring out different shades of our characters.

Margaret Simon

I love how this graphic helps us visually see the complexity within ourselves. Thanks for sharing it.

Maureen Y Ingram

Susan, thank you for this fun prompt; the venn diagram works so well for the “in-between” of your poem – yes, “twilight and dawn/hold the best of both.” Love this!

I’m staying on a theme for my poetry this week…lol. Our vacation in Maine.

Acadia

he treasured the vistas
panoramic views from mountaintops
sweaty exertion of climbing
weaving paths negotiating roots scrambling rocks  
our hiking chatter grunts laughter

tide pools mesmerized me

close intimate looking and tiny finds

slow steady careful stepping

so many lives both strong and fragile 

waves rippling rocks

invigorating

all our senses, tingling

immersed in precious wonder

being in nature

together

Maureen Y Ingram

Well, dang, the formatting went a little nutty. Last five lines are a stanza all their own…the “in-between”

Maureen Y Ingram

And, here’s a screenshot…

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Susan Ahlbrand

Maureen,
What better topic for writing than your recent vacation. These descriptions just capture what must be incredibly beautiful landscapes. I love how your poem looks with the formatting showing where things fit. I think this would look super cool with a photo of the landscape shaded in the background. Definitely frame-worthy! The lack of punctuation ups the appeal and you have some awesome-sounding lines . . .

weaving paths negotiating roots scrambling rocks

Tammi Belko

Maureen,

We took our family vacation last year to Acadia, and I think it is the most beautiful place that I’ve ever been too. I would love to vacation there again, or maybe buy a summer cottage near Winter Harbor (in my dreams!).

You’ve captured the magic of the park perfectly. I especially relate to these lines:

“all our senses, tingling
immersed in precious wonder”

Scott M

Susan, thank you for this challenging prompt today! I found myself (ultimately) writing two Golden Shovels and smushing them together! (And thank you for the “This or That” link; I’ll definitely be using that in the fall to help revamp some of my opening SEL questions.)

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Maureen Y Ingram

Phenomenal topic for your venn diagram – and the overlap is awesome, “we tell compelling stories.” Love the way this looks, visually.

Susan Ahlbrand

I forced you out of your trademark short lines that create such a linear look! Yay! 🙂
Your topic is a perfect fit for this exercise, and your poem showcases the polarity of it yet isolates that both are view as compelling storytellers!
As always, Scott . . . wonderful food for thought!

Tammi Belko

Scott,
Certainly a timely topic! The overlap is perfect in its message. Maybe a little snarky with regards to the studio execs ?

Scott M

Nope. Not snarky enough, lol. 🙂

Anna J. Small ROSEBORO

Susan, interesting challenge to write, layout, and to post. I couldn’t figure out how, so I did a triplet. Drafted the lines and created and then posted a graphic of the lines.

Sad
About retiring
About leaving the site where work was such a pleasure
No longer eligible for underwriting cost of PD
About regular income from salary

Not Mad

Can say no to work and yes to family
Can collaborate with colleagues across the nation
Can present at conventions and qualify for discounts
Can earn royalties if books get published

Glad

To have more time for family
To have time to write about what I learned
To be able to travel off-season to places on our “to visit” list
Have time to write and support the work of our newbies

So, I have no reason to be sad, or mad, but many reasons to be glad!

Sad Not Mad Glad 17 July 2023.jpg
Maureen Y Ingram

Happy retirement!! I think your list of ‘glad’ will grow and grow and grow, very quickly.

Stacey Joy

Anna, this is great! I get it as I ponder what retirement might bring in the coming few years. I love the graphic!

Susan Ahlbrand

Anna,
I LOVE your poem as is but I REALLY love the graphic you created with the cute little emojis underneath.

I love how the poem helped you to land on the positive!

Scott M

Anna, I love your “many reasons to be glad” about your retirement: more “time for family,” more “time to write,” more time “to travel off-season,” and more time to “support the work of our newbies.” These are all wonderful reasons!

Jessica Wiley

Anna, I always enjoy your writings! I will look forward to my retirement, but in the meantime, I will continue to root for those who have served their time. Enjoy your future! The line I most resonated with was “To be able to travel off-season to places on our “to visit” list”. I wish I could do that now and still keep my days, lol! Thank you for sharing!

Denise Krebs

Wow, Anna, congratulations. Blessings to you and your family as you begin this new chapter. I love the graphic you created to go with your poem. Yes, one of my favorite things in retirement is: “To be able to travel off-season to places on our ‘to visit’ list” It’s also great to be able to go to popular things during the week instead of on the weekends.

Gayle Sands

I’ve attached the photo below and will re-enter it if it is too small to see. Susan–the prompt is wonderful (I love Bilston!) and your poem is, too. These lines:
“hazy half light/hazy half life”–resonate with me…that in-between place is so much easier, isn’t it?

pasted_image_0[1].png
Denise Krebs

Gayle, what fun! I love the topics for your Venn diagram. Each section needs its own title, as there isn’t a lot of overlapping–just you serving each of the cats and dogs. I love the spacing on the small dogs section too–all of that said in one breath. It makes me see their energy and I’m exhausted.

Maureen Y Ingram

Gayle, you have captured the split personalities of dogs vs cats so well, so humorously! I love your in-tween, and laughed so at ‘I live to serve.” Great fun!

Margaret Simon

Gayle, I can relate so well to this poem having both a dog who greets me with such excitement before I can grab a cup of coffee and a cat who yawns and stretches and rubs up on my legs. I love a home full of pets, but first thing in the morning is a true test of my patience. Thanks for the cheer!

Stacey Joy

LOL, Gayle, I can totally imagine my cat saying “Well, I suppose I will make do. You know you could do better.” 😹

My daughter swears that our cat is her enslaver! LOL!

I love the doggie world and one day hope to have that fun interaction.

Susan Ahlbrand

Gayle,
Didn’t you just have such fun showcasing the many differences between cats and dogs!
And then there you are in the overlap meeting their diverse needs.

Scott M

This is so funny, Gayle! I love how excited the small dogs are — so many exclamation points!! — and how relaxed (and judgy 🙂 ) the cats are. We oftentimes think that we train our pets, but they’re really the ones training us. We are merely there “to serve.” Lol

Kim Johnson

Gayle, there is such humor in the truth, and I can see the dog AND the cat and hear their voices. This is funny, real-life stuff. And you there in the middle – the server of the in and out and of the food.

Shelby

Susan, I love the lines “half hazy light / half hazy life.” I love the meaning you found in the literal in-between of day and night.

My own poem is about work and play 🙂

Work’s all traffic on the commute,
Watching the clock,
Small talk in the hallway, 
Students rushing in at 7:40

Play’s all kids running,
Laughing on carpets, in colorful chairs 
New books to read, games to play
Singing made-up songs

But most days, the lines blur
And I find myself cracking jokes, 
Making up songs, hyping up books,
High-fiving because I want to

Loving teaching, for its work and its play

Traci Conrad

WAY TO GET YOUR WORK DONE, SHELBY! I find it funny we both have something related to “commute, traffic, highway” in our poems. Maybe because our road trips to school are dwindling down! 🙂

Denise Krebs

Oh, boy, Shelby, you have captured the joy and truth of “Loving teaching, for its work and its play” So true! That third stanza makes me smile so much at the kind of teacher you are. Lovely!

Susan Ahlbrand

Shelby,
Oh, how I love your positive and light-hearted approach toward teaching. Seems to be quite rare these days. Glad you are able to hold on to it.

I think one thing that we are all finding in this challenge of opposites is just how much

the lines blur

Thank you for encouraging me toward the positive today!

Leilya Pitre

Shelby, your students are lucky to have you. I can just see you playing, singing, reading, and joking with kids. “Loving teaching” is the key to this positive outlook at work and play. Thank you for sharing!

gayle sands

And it is those blurring lines that I miss in retirement. Because I, too, wanted to…

Maureen Y Ingram

This is a happy ode to teaching – you and your students are both so lucky that “most days, the lines blur,” that there are lots of overlaps between work and play. Wonderful!

Margaret Simon

Shelby, This morning I wandered over to a neighbor’s house and ended up making zines with her 5 year old. The lines are more blurry in the summer. I love that you make up songs!

Traci Conrad

Well, this is an exciting way to write that I have not been exposed to yet! Thank you for sharing. Here goes my first shot…

Where Venn Diagram (1).png
Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Traci,
I love how I can read this in columns left to right or left-right-center or line by line across. So wonderful.

Sarah

Denise Krebs

Traci, I love so many poems here. One of my favorite parts is reading that middle column. I’ve had the joy of learning that in my lifetime–from teaching in a town of 300 in Iowa and in a capital city in the middle east. It always comes down to the truth of “Teach, my heart says” and, as you say in the rest of your poem, that can happen anywhere!

Susan Ahlbrand

Traci,
I love what you have created! So much to love about each distinct “place” but the overlapping space is where the beauty really is! I think I am the most struck by these lines used separately but not:

Support Teach Guide

There is subtle difference in those three verbs and the way you tie them in with rural and urban is so clever!

Maureen Y Ingram

Your layout is amazing! You have created poems within poems. Love this!

Stacey Joy

Wow, you did such a good job here! When I read them separately, it sounds like an authentic inner dialogue. Together, it’s a perfect share of what these two locations offer and sound like a pro/con discussion. Incredible! I would love to know what you chose.

Rita Kenefic

This is my first poem on this site. I see some familiar names and love the idea of using a Venn diagram to jumpstart ideas. Not going to mess with Canva right now, but this is what I came up with when I put Liberal/Conservative in the diagram…

My liberal heart struggles
to understand the conservative view.

My liberal heart aches
for all to value inclusivity, equality, truth.

My liberal heart deeply loves
family and friends who hold opposing views.

My liberal heart yearns
for a return to acceptance and shared values
that form the foundation of our country.

Denise Krebs

Rita, it is great to see you here in this space. I appreciate the take on your poem and the empathy you have for the conservative side. Those verbs–struggles, aches, loves, and yearns. I love the anaphora of “My liberal heart” Beautiful poem.

Susan Ahlbrand

Thank you so much for being brave enough to jump in and post today, Rita! I know that I observed for a bit before I gathered the confidence to post something. I really wanted to construct my mentor poem on liberal/conservative, and I tinkered with those topics for a bit and couldn’t come up with anything that I liked. You, however, have nailed a lot of what I had hoped to capture. Your words are deeply personal yet you gradually broaden out to friends and family and they our country as a whole. Your sure make it seem like a logical, easy task.

I hope you gained a little confidence today and continue to join this incredible community of writers!

Maureen Y Ingram

Lovely poem, Rita. I love the repetition of “My liberal heart,” and I can hear the heart in all that you write, the love for our nation.

Kim Johnson

Rita, welcome! I’m so glad you joined us today and hope you’ll come back for every Open Write. I love that you took a tough topic and put heart into it with struggles, aches, loves, and yearns as the verbs that help us feel your passion! I especially love your third stanza. We can all get along and love each other, despite any opposing views in our family and friends.

cmhutter

Thank you for this new form of poetry. It was fun and challenging at the same time. It led me to a topic and feelings I didn’t expect.

Alone or Support Community

Internally intense thoughts
rampant worries and fears
fed by anxiety
acknowledged at my own pace
tears silently fall

Fears voiced aloud
Weaknesses laid prone
Emotional mask disintegrates
Guided through problematic beats of the heart
Bolstered by the knowledge of those who have “lived” it

Battling for light
Wading through the murkiness
Surfing the crest of raw sensations
Reviving hope
Treasuring blips of blinking joy

Journeying
through
life’s
downhearted
depressions

Rita K.

I’m a big fan of support, and finding a community that fills our needs. You did a lovely job describing the feelings and the help others can bring. Thanks for sharing this.

Denise Krebs

Cathy, so many powerful images here like “tears silently fall” and “Emotional mask disintegrates” and “downhearted / depressions.” Wow. You have captured the importance of having that support on life’s journey.

cmhutter

Thank you. This prompt led me to a topic I didn’t expect.

Susan Ahlbrand

What a wonderful job you do of capturing what I have often felt. I love when I read other writers’ works that I can connect to so deeply. But then I find myself getting a little envious that I didn’t write it. 🙂
In your sharing of how we go from stifling/burying things to opening up and voicing things, I feel the line that jumped out at me as especially powerful is

Surfing the crest of raw sensations

I wonder if you realize how many people can likely relate to what you have expressed in this poem.

cmhutter

Thank you. This prompt led me to a topic I wasn’t expecting. After writing it, I wasn’t hesitant about sharing it. Your comment confirms my choice to put it out there.

Maureen Y Ingram

This is gorgeous…and I can see where it was challenging to write. Thank you for being vulnerable and open with this community, for trusting. I have a loved one who lives with depression, and I know they are

Battling for light

Wading through the murkiness

Kim Johnson

Your verbs here are so compelling – – journeying, reviving, surfing, wading, treasuring, wading. These journeys are so filled with emotional energy, and downhearted depressions are made easier through community.

Leilya Pitre

Susan, you like to challenge us, don’t you? 🙂 Thank you for this morning exercise! I love both of your poems, and completely agree that “twilight and dawn / hold the best of both.” In your parenting poem, the common field is so wise: “try to let them be who they are.” This is what we all should do, but often we act “in child’s best interest.”

I thought about mind and body today with as few words as possible. I hope the image is readable. If not, I will try a different way.

Let
Leilya Pitre

When you click on an image, it is quite visible.

Heather Morris

Yes, to the last line.

Susan Ahlbrand

Oh, Leilya!
I just left the chiropractor where we continue to work on areas of my body that hold lots of emotion/trauma. And to come right here to see this poem…wow!
Your title has a little bit of a light-hearted feel but harmony between mind and body is essential and your poem reveals that. With love being the connector in various way…we have to love our mind and our body, and we need love for each of them to work optimally.
This is magnificent!

Rita K.

Love this and totally agree with the line, “love is the connector.” Great job!

cmhutter

This is a great visual about the important connection between our mind and body- emotions reflect dysfunction and attitudes meditate treatment stood out to me.

Traci Conrad

Love is the connector! What a great expression of getting the body and mind to work together. As I learn and reflect hopefully some bricks fall off my body and off my mind, just be friends body and mind! 🙂

Denise Krebs

Leilya,
I love the tie you have made between the mind and body. I’m fascinated with all the ways to read these few words. You have captured something important.

Margaret Simon

Leilya, in light of our exchange yesterday, I am so drawn to your poem. Our bodies revolt to trauma and it takes the mind to focus and be reborn so healing can happen. Thanks for the meditation recommendation. Enough was my one little word last year, so the “I am enough” meditation worked well for me. Even as I sit healing, I am enough.

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Leilya, love is indeed the connector. I love that your poem is bookended with that phrase and “let’s be friends.” The lines feel like arms wrapping the poem in a hug. And the images you added remind me of faces atop two bodies. Everything about this feels so connected.

Kim Johnson

Leilya, green! The color of life – such beauty here in the connection of mind and body as love – – and so true! I like the respond (to) idea that it is reciprocal and interactive. I like your little diagrams over the circles, too, and your title.

Heather Morris

Thank you for the introduction to a new form of poetry. The words cam quickly, but I am not good with computers. It took me a while to figure out formatting. I could not change colors, so I am going with what I have. It is time to move on.

Screen Shot 2023-07-17 at 11.10.46 AM.png
Leilya Pitre

You did it great, Heather! I, too, “played” with Canva this morning, and it took more time formatting. Yes, “worries are still there,” and it is a challenge to “turn them off” during sleep. Hope you find some comfort doing something joyful and heartwarming today.

Susan Ahlbrand

Super impressive, Heather! It’s amazing that the words came to you easily because you nailed the multiple ways that this can and should be read.
I actually think this form is perfect for you to reveal the ever presence of worry in our lives.

cmhutter

Actually, the different colors aid in distinguishing the different times- awake vs. asleep. I like it that way! I think you nailed how worries show up throughout our days.

Denise Krebs

Heather, awake or asleep, “worries are still there.” You have created a masterpiece. “there fear comes alive” is haunting.

Margaret Simon

Heather, this is wonderful. I want to do this style but like you, it is taking me a bit to get it to look like I want it to. What did you use to make it? Google slides may be where I head. “Worries are still there” is so true of day and night. May I use your poem as a model for students this fall?

Heather Morris

I used Canva.

Heather Morris

Of course you can use it as a model.

Kim Johnson

Heather, I love what you did here with the Canva and the colors. They are unexpected together, which makes them fashionable and appealing. I know you said you tried to change them, but I like them exactly as they are. And the worries, those whatifs, that deprive us of our sleep…….yes, awake or asleep, they always seem to be there, don’t they? Lines of deep truth.

Denise Krebs

Susan, thank you for this fun challenge. I had never heard of the Venn diagram poem. It’s always fun to try something new. I appreciated the variety of possibilities with this form. I loved how you ended your day and night poem with wisdom for living. “living in / the in-between” a good place to be. I’m attaching my Venn diagram.

Screenshot_20230717_074940_Gallery.jpg
Leilya Pitre

Denise, I love your poem about our planet tilting toward summer or winter. Two very messages attracted and will stay with me: “the good turning tilt of earth” and “Grace on earth is full.
I love how each opposing part can be read with a common section, but the final line can read across. Thank you!

Susan Ahlbrand

Denise,
I always feel like when I have to play with words (or syllables like yesterday) that I stay very basic with my language. You play with words here while using extremely strong imagery. I find your key word to be GRACE and how it fits between coolness and thankfulness and then links to “on earth is full.”
You certainly worked this poem form to perfection!

Rita K.

Hi, Denise. Nice to see you on this site. I love how you wrote about the seasons. Your title is perfect. My favorite phrase…”tilt to the tender greens” – very poetic.

Margaret Simon

Denise, this is lovely. I love how the circles end up symbols here of the hot and cold sides of “our swiftly tilting planet.”

Kim Johnson

Denise, your words coolness and thankfulness on the same line have me longing for fall, for the crisp leaves of November and the smell of burning piles of leaves. Your words give hope that the tilt will be enough to turn us away from this dreadfully oppressive heat of summer and give us a reprieve into the cool, cozy feels of fall. Oh, I needed this today!

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Pause Time or Rewind Time

Seconds hang mid-air waiting.
There is no chilling of Coffee .
Nor does Basil wilt in damp soil.
Cursor’s glimmer patiently holds space.

Seconds flee, sink, perish unless —
There is a rewinding of life scrolling,
Possibility in flickers of love’s iris instead.
Back and Delete upend harm.

Seconds do not understand.
When I get on my knees to collect her residue
or grasp her haze, she fades.

I am a poet.
I weep with her pause and howl in echo.
I breathe words in the spaces between.

Leilya Pitre

Sarah, thank you! I read and reread to savor the words in your poem today. So many great lines here that make me pause and think about time whether it’s when “Cursor’s glimmer patiently holds space,” or when you move “Back and Delete upend harm,” or “Seconds don’t understand.” The final line is your essence as a poet: “I breathe words in the spaces between.” Just love it.  

Denise Krebs

Oh, Sarah, what a powerful heaviness of time wasted and time lived. This: “When I get on my knees to collect her residue…” makes it all so very intimate and beautiful. And, of course, that last stanza. Breathtaking.

Margaret Simon

Wow! Sarah, this poem is brilliant specificity. Personification of Seconds as you try to grasp her haze. The last line is one I want to steal. Thanks.

Susan Ahlbrand

Sarah,
I have read this at least four different times as I scroll to make sure I’ve seen all poems and comments. I always stop to try to write a comment and I hesitate, not feeling as if anything I can say will do this poem justice. There is just such depth to it and I’m not sure what to focus on. My eyes keep going back to

When I get on my knees to collect her residue

or grasp her haze, she fades.

It’s such a beautiful image with beautiful language that captures our desire to pause or stop moments of time from passing.
I would very much love to hear some insight/backstory from you because this is one of your best poems I feel!

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Susan, what a fun form to play with this morning (and a challenge!). Both of your examples are beautiful – I appreciate the work behind the end result! I am sure more effort on my part would result in something as beautiful but for now, this is where we are at. I can’t wait to share this form with students.

Screen Shot 2023-07-17 at 7.33.18 AM.png
Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Susan, forgot to add that I played off of your word “storming” (which I love) from your process description.

Linda Mitchell

oooooh! I love all the brain talk in this. I’ve come to the comments first today for ideas. I’ve sort of fallen off my writing horse and need to get back on. Your poem inspires me. Thank you.

Susan Ahlbrand

Oh, Jennifer . . . this needs to be on the cover of some book about neuroscience! It’s so full of meaning read in multiple ways. I just knew you writers would rise to the next level challenge and create dynamite products!

Kevin Hodgson

Good brain-y verse!

Leilya Pitre

Jennifer, I don’t know how you managed to connect brain and storms, but the result is as brilliant as your common line: “travelling in pathways with connected brilliance.” Bravo! Thank you for sharing.

Denise Krebs

Jennifer, what a clever idea. Love the title as it too is multi-meaning. “Traveling in pathways with connected brilliance” is beautiful. “hemispheric brilliance” 🙂

Kim Johnson

Jennifer, right down to the color, this brings all the firing of the neurons and the atmospheric electricity right into full focus! Your hues of blue are perfect for the stormy disturbances and activity. It looks and feels electric! I love the “connected brilliance: in the middle – – the conduit from one form to another. I think students will love these and truly wrap their brains around them, as you have done here. This shows a deep level of thinking.

TERRY ELLIOTT

Venn Sweet Venn
I am 
learning & teaching
in the zero dark.
I am
alone
veering from the path.
I am
unburning the candle,
amens all around.

 
comment image

Pink and Violet Pastel Sweets Venn Diagram.png
Linda Mitchell

Ah, yes…that “zero dark” Great language for a poem!

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Terry, reading this in its linear form before seeing it in the Venn causes my brain to sort in all kinds of ways (and I love it!). “Unburning the candle” really struck me – I feel as if summer is the time of the unburning after going at both ends for so long while teaching. Beautiful image and twist on this known phrase. The “I am” phrases paired with the title (being) works so well too.

Susan Ahlbrand

Terry,
I love how you shared both versions of this. It’s amazing to me how a different arrangement of the words changes things. The graphic adds another level of appeal. Each “line” seems to be so different, yet they each reveal something about those of us teachers who “unburn” over these months.

Kevin Hodgson

Terry
Your use of “I am” each round gives the poem a cyclical nature (which is perfect for the circular Venn)
Kevin

Heather Morris

The repetition is powerful in this short poem, and each line evokes so much emotion.

Denise Krebs

Terry,
“Sweet Being” is precious! Enjoy the rest of your summer of “unburning the candle” Amen, amen, amen! (That’s what I thought of with that stanza.)

Kim Johnson

Susan, you’ve got my brain feeling like one of those intersection junctions this morning with traffic going in every direction. I’m awake now – I made a mumbo jumbo mess of trying to think of dieting and regular eating, so I switched to home and work. Thank you for hosting us today – – I wish I had more time to refine this today, as I found it fun thinking of the similarities between things. Today is my first day back on contract, so I will have to leave it and get ready to head out, but I can’t wait to see the poems the day brings! Thanks for investing in us as writers today!

Work is on the left, Home is on the right. Middle says Always Here or There.
Hopefully this formats correctly; if not, I’ll add a photograph.

putting out fires always putting things away
I work here I dream
planning or adventuring
one hat there another hat

Kim Johnson

Here’s a picture. It didn’t format.

IMG_7992.jpg
Kevin Hodgson

Looks great — putting out fires … yeah …

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Kim, I have felt this, lived it, succumbed to it. When the kids were younger, trying to balance home and work, I kept saying I’ll get it done at school and I’ll get it done at home and it just never got done. Phew. Wishing you a happy first contract day back as you balance life in all its forms.

Heather Morris

Sometimes, I find the work bleeding into home. Every word in your poem speaks volumes.

Leilya Pitre

Where else can you be, Kim? “Always here or there” is such a true statement for you! The first line “putting out fires” is so relevant. Happy start of contract!

Rita K.

Hi, Kim. I’m so happy to see you on this site. This is my first visit. I love the Venn Poetry idea and your poems rocks. How well you describe the tension that is often felt between home and work. Nice job on this!

cmhutter

One hat there another hat- spoke to me. The shift of hats as I drive from work to home or vice versa.

Denise Krebs

Kim, it sounds like a great work-life balance to go between the work and planning vs. the dreaming and adventuring hats. Hooray! Fun poem. Have a great new school year!

Susan Ahlbrand

Kim,
We can always count on you to be up EARLY giving a rockstar effort! I would love for you to be able to revisit the concept of dieting and regular eating. I felt I had to provide my own example of the NEXT LEVEL form, and I think I toiled off and on for the entirety of a day. I found it very tough.
I love both the one you posted NOT in the Venn diagram as it reads in catchy way. But once we can see your photograph, it truly goes next level. It’s natural that your brain would take you to the work/home dynamic if you are back on contract today. I especially love the contrast between

planning and adventuring

Linda Mitchell

sob…those words, back on contract. I’m sorry. I know it’s a good thing too because of students and all the little miracles that we get to witness…it’s just I’m not ready!
Your topic is a great one for compare/contrast. “fires, dream, planning, hat” area all things I can really identify with.

Kevin Hodgson

Susan — this form has you thinking in multiple directions — everything everywhere all at once!
🙂
Kevin

Venn Diagram Poem Kevin.png
Kim Johnson

Kevin, I love how you did this maybe in Canva or something! Your word choices and comparisons are stunning images. You rocked this today! I’m humming Cat Stevens’ Morning Has Broken…….

Kevin Hodgson

Yep — I used a template in Canva — funny but I guess true that Cat’s in my head this morning …
🙂

Susan Ahlbrand

Kevin,
Wow! What you created in the early morning breaking light in very little time is astounding! I love how you used something–Canva maybe–to create a visually-appealing version. The color-coding takes it next level. Thanks for giving such extra effort this Monday morning!
BUT . . . most importantly, the words. Yours can be read even more ways than what the mentors can, each way more thought-provoking than the other. I think the part (I guess we can’t really call them lines when arranged like this???) I like the best is

becoming

when

we’re

within

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Brilliant! There are at least 6 different ways to read this and they all work so well. Your brain is on fire early – must be that morning awakening breaking light.

Kevin Hodgson

🙂 or the coffee is strong this morning

Linda Mitchell

ooooh! I love this. That word, “Becoming” is perfect…just perfect.

Leilya Pitre

I like everything about your poem today, Kevin: how each part reads separate, all together, and the common section. So much thought in so few words! Thank you.

Denise Krebs

Kevin, this is gorgeous. You can read it every which way and it remains meaningful. I love the poetic sound of the phrases like “nearly alone within”

Margaret Simon

Can I use this as a model for students? I think keeping the words and phrases short helps to create a poem that works. Like haiku, the images here are strong and carry the weight of the center “Becoming when we’re within.”

Kevin Hodgson

Of course … thanks for asking, Margaret
Kevin

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