Barbara Edler currently works part time teaching college composition courses at Iowa Wesleyan University in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. When she’s not teaching, assessing student work, or writing poetry, Barb enjoys watching birds along the Mississippi River, reading mysteries, and playing cards. She’s also a big Iowa Hawkeye fan!

Inspiration

I’ve recently been studying sijo poetry, an ancient verse form from Korean culture. Sijo, pronounced sheejo, is a three to six line poem that follows a syllable formula reminiscent of a haiku, but sijo is far older than the haiku.Each line serves its own purpose: the first introduces the topic, the second line extends the topic, and the third line has a twist or surprise, such as a new sound, image, pun or humor, or play on words. Today imagine something that you think a great deal about as a potential topic, and then surprise your readers with a twist.

Process

The first line is usually written in a 3-4-4-4 grouping pattern and states the theme of the poem, where a situation is generally introduced.

The second line is usually written in a 3-4-4-4 pattern (similar to the first) and is an elaboration of the first line’s theme or situation (development).

The third line is divided into two sections. The first section, the counter-theme, is grouped as 3-5, while the second part, considered the conclusion of the poem, is written as 4-3. The counter-theme is called the ‘twist,’ which is usually a surprise in meaning, sound, or other device. Some writers break the poem into six lines which is acceptable, but the poem should have 44-46 syllables.

Several resources including writing Sijo guidelines, lesson plans, lectures, etc. can be found at the following link:  https://www.sejongculturalsociety.org/writing/current/resources/sijo_guide.php. If you teach young children, you might enjoy Tap Dancing on the Roof, a collection of  sijo poems written by Linda Sue Park. I bought one and thoroughly enjoyed the poems.

Sample Sijos

I will break the back of this long, midwinter night,

Folding it double, cold beneath my spring quilt,

That I may draw out the night, should my love return.

동지달 기나긴 밤을 한 허리를 버혀 내여

춘풍 이불 아래 서리허리 넣었다가

어른 님 오신 날 밤이여드란 구비구비 펴리라

Hwang Chin-I (1506-1544)

Rising early each morning,

     I let her into the warm barn;

I pour oats, clean her stall,

     then fork more hay into the trough;

When she kicks my hand away,

     why do I think of my wife?

Larry Gross

from Sijo West #2, Summer 1996

Barb’s Poem

Mourning Departure
Morning sky flings her gray veil lacy with fog across our land
We huddle, frozen with grief, spreading ashes, wringing our hands
Sun slivers whisper, rise spirits, as we stumble, numb and blind

Your Turn

Now, scroll to the comment section below to write your own poem. (This is a public space, so you may choose to use only your first name or initials depending on your privacy preferences.) Not ready? That’s okay. Read the poems already posted for more inspiration. Ponder your own throughout the day. Return later. And, if the prompt does not work for you, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Just write something. Also, please be sure to respond to at least three writers. Oh, and a note about drafting: Since we are writing in short bursts, we all understand (and even welcome) the typos and partial poems that remind us we are human and that writing is always becoming. If you’d like to invite other teachers to write with us, tell them to subscribe.

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Prefer Anonymous

My first sijo poem, not very good:

there are many different ways to try poetry, although
most people do not care about it, sometimes despise it
it definitely brings me away from stupid covid-19, at least

Donnetta Norris

Barbara, I read your prompt and process yesterday, but was NOT in the headspace to complete it. I’m glad I didn’t skip it. Better late than never, right?

Long Weekend

Four Day Break; Boundless Options for Passing the Time
My Desire? Snuggle up with Blankets and Books.
Gratitude for Sabbatical to Do or Not…It’s My Choice,

Leilya Pitre

Good morning, Barb! I couldn’t post yesterday, but didn’t want to miss your prompt. Thank you for a wonderful challenge, beautiful mentor poems and your sijo full of sorrow and hope.
Here is my attempt:

Body aches.
Fever signals
Internal fight.
Who will win this battle–

My strong will 
Or your desire
To shut me down
Without a chance?. 

Night creeps in 
Slowing our wrestle. 
Sleep wins first round.
It’s ‘morrow.

Denise Krebs

Leilya, what a great way to describe this process of fighting sleep. The middle stanza is really mysterious and well-written, then the twist at the end. Well done.

Scott M

Leilya, I hope your “will” can win the next round! Although if given enough time, sleep, it seems, will always tend to win. (And I’m worried about that “Fever signal[ing] / [an] Internal fight.” I hope you’re not coming down with something!) Keep fighting “the good fight”!

Stacey Joy

Leilya,
First and foremost, I hope you’re feeling better and the fever is gone soon!

Your second stanza gives a sense of danger if sleep wins, but I hope you got the rest you needed.

Take care, my friend.🤗

Barb Edler

Leilya, your sijo is filled with striking images. I can feel that “internal fight” and “Night creeps in” is chilling. It sounds like you’ve been under the weather. Hoping you’re feeling better now. Thank you so much for posting today!

Denise Hill

Yesterday was not one of my better days. But I had my poem written – inspired by my day – and I’m going with “better late than never.”

Nearing Finals

three more weeks; teachers, students – each at the end of nerves worn raw
rough drafts due, fighting errant commas, fragments, & sloppy research
“I’ll miss you,” a student lets slip, and I realize I will too

Leilya Pitre

Hi, Denise! I hear you. Had one of those days too and just posted my poem a minute ago. Hope things get better soon. We xan do three more weeks, right? Hugs, Leilya.

Leilya Pitre

*xan is “can” 🙂

Denise Krebs

Oh, Denise, precious ending of this end-of-the-year stressful time. Such a simple gesture can become a poem. Beautiful!

Scott M

Denise, I’m right there with you! My college comp class (with their various final essays) is coming to an end at the same time that I just collected a stack of research essays from my seniors. Who planned it like this? Oh, that’s right: me. (And I loved your last line — and the “double” surprise that it contained!)

Barb Edler

Oh, Denise, I feel your frustration that the end of the semester can create. I know those “fighting errant commas, fragments, & sloppy research”…yikes, it is exhausting. Your ending line provides the perfect twist. Teaching can definitely be a roller coaster ride of ups and downs! I love how your sijo captures those feelings so accurately! Thank you!

Prefer Anonymous

Really great poem.

Joanne Emery

So busy – had a hard time – finding time. Thank you, Barb for the prompt. It made my mind think and think and think. Then I read and read and read everyone’s wonderful, spontaneous poems. I found out today that a former principal of mine died 2 days ago. The news brought back memories and loss and the knowledge that her life was well lived in service to others.

I remember that April can be both tender and cruel,
the warming hope of the budding of hyacinth and daffodil,
the heart-struck loss of a colleague, mentor, never forgotten friend.

Denise Hill

I think the moon has us all a bit frazzled this week, Joanne, and your poem just made my soul settle down a bit. I just learned yesterday of the passing of a colleague as well, and your words could not have been more mine if I had written them myself. I will tuck this one into my journal – thank you so much. The beauty and cruelty are all a part of being here.

Denise Krebs

Oh, Joanne, your tender beginning with the hope of spring, and then the twist to the cruel–the loss of this special person in your life. My condolences to you and her family and other friends.

Barb Edler

Joanne, your sijo is fantastic. Your first line captures the volatility of April and life. Love how you end with the positive impact of your “never forgotten friend”. Beautiful!

Laura Langley

Thanks for today’s prompt!

Old friends glow amidst spilling plates, dwindling glasses, stout chatter. 

Buds indulge, laughter unfurls,
Hearts reconnect, time collapses. 

Goodbyes knock, hearts sever war’ly, everyone leaves as we cleave.

Glenda Funk

Maura,
Brilliant use of “cleave,” both separating and uniting. Yes, “time collapses” when friends reconnect.

Glenda Funk

*Laura😬 ugh 😑 typo. Apologies for that.

Barb Edler

Laura, your poem is heart-wrenching. Love your word choice throughout. I am especially moved with “Goodbyes knock’. Wow! Very compelling poem!

Denise Hill

Ha! “Cleave” was a response on jeopardy last night for that very reason of it’s dual nature, and I thought, Yeah, that’s a really great word to use… : ) I can see your poem like a movie in my head of all these friends gathering together. Still slightly edgy but so wholesomely wanted and needed after our pandemic experience. Nicely rendered, Laura. Makes me want to be there – but not have to leave.

Denise Krebs

Laura, what a beautiful image of old friends together cleaving, and then (c)leaving. Well chosen!

Allison Berryhill

Hello, Barb, and thank you so much for this prompt!
I did not know this form, and I’m pretty sure I still don’t have it right! Nevertheless, I enjoyed the challenge of corralling ideas into syllable counts. (Sending you warm thoughts from across Iowa tonight!)

I do think 
about failing 
my children now 
grown flung worldwide

Once I praised
myself for small
success each year:
survival the goal.

Now I see
my intentions paved 
the way not to 
hell: just life.

Laura Langley

Hey, Allison,
I can’t stop rereading your poem. There’s an interesting möbius strip effect going on for me when I read your opening line and end up at the final. Your poem is paradoxical but also clear. Thank you for sharing!

Barb Edler

Oh, Allison. I can feel your motherly love so clearly in this poem and you had me laughing out loud! “the way not to/hell; just life”. Surviving raising children is a special art. I am in Des Moines right now, so I hope I see you tomorrow at the Poetry Palooza event.

Denise Hill

OMGosh. I am not a mother, but a daughter, and I read this and can’t imagine my mother ever thinking she may have ever failed me. NE-VER – Allison! And it seems I always land on a poem here each month that reminds me I need to call my mom and thank her for being my mom. The road-to-hell reference is such a shoe stone – how that teaching must weigh heavily on folks who never should hear it spoken again. Your response is the perfect flip.

Charlene Doland

Thank you, Barbara, for introducing me to a form I knew nothing about. Linda Sue Park’s book sounds lovely! My reality today:

Teen students visibly struggling to contain their spring fever
Outwardly showing respect, yet yearning, hungering to flee
Groaning at the mention of poetry; wrote heaps of haiku

Allison Berryhill

Charlene, Thank you for speaking directly to my teacher heart tonight! Bravo!

Laura Langley

Oh, Charlene, I am right there with you. They loved it at the beginning of the year but now everything seems to make them groan. I’m glad to have already been introduced to new (more in-depth) forms that include haiku this month. “Heaps of haiku” is too real.

Barb Edler

Charlene, I can hear your frustration in this sijo. I have definitely been there. Your final line had me laughing out loud. Spring fever jitters can be the most difficult to deal with, but I love how you capture this time of year so gracefully.

Rachelle

Barbara, thank you so much for this! I loved the imagery from your poem, which inspired mine! I was also inspired by the endless rain we’ve been having in Oregon. I just can’t stay inside!

Endless rain pummels and pelts the city streets day after day.
It’s April in Oregon, so we must stay inside to play.
But who cares? Let’s go for a jog! Tie up your shoes. Come what may!

Cara F

Rachelle,
You and I were on a similar page today with wishes for an actual spring. Your last line has the bouncy rhythm of a jog! Please, spring, we’re ready!!

DeAnna C.

Rachelle,
It is true that many Oregonians will go to a jog in the rain. If we waited for dry days we would still be waiting. I have been know to even take a walk in the rain.

Charlene Doland

Rachelle, I hear you! I’m also in Oregon, McMinnville to be precise. This cold, wet spring is depressing! And, you’re right, “let’s go for a jog!” and not let the weather slow us down.

Barb Edler

Rachelle, I could feel this hard rain because of your precise language. I love how you show your response. Your voice was clear and inviting. Thank you!

Kim

Thanks Barbara–there’s something special about the sparcity of language and some syllable counting format to force careful language choice. I hope I did it justice!

Endings

Senses fire, awake alert
breathing, gulping nature’s power

Around each bending slanting
slipping path, eyes hugged by mountains

Driving home in deep monotony
Reflection stirs, awe cements

(just one picture today on my blog version. https://thinkingthroughmylens.com/2023/04/06/endings-in-a-sijo-npm23-day-6/

Dave Wooley

The imagery in your poem is really remarkable! Especially in the first stanza. And then the picture in the link brings everything into clear focus.

Charlene Doland

“Driving home in deep monotony / reflection stirs, awe cements” — I hear you, Kim, that some drives seem to go on forever, especially when we are tired. When we rouse ourselves out of our stupor, we are often rewarded with magnificence!

Barb Edler

Kim, wow, I can see this gripping scene, the destructive nature of fire. I really appreciate your title and your word choice is incredibly effective. “awe cements” was especially compelling!Thank you!

Jamie Langley

morning rain
Woke to lightning and thunder, constant pouring rain sweet surprise
Dry days circulate more predictable than dewy mornings
Whether tomorrow’s a change or much of the same, who knows

DeAnna C.

Jamie,
I love the sound of thunder ⛈️⛈️ and rain 🌧️🌧️
However I don’t really get to enjoy it much. I have a child how has a true phobia of thunder storms

Glenda Funk

Jamie,
Indeed, like the weather we don’t know “whether tomorrow’s a change.” Its all both random and predictable. Lovely sijo.

Laura Langley

I love your third group and the one lay on “whether”— for the first time I’m thinking about the unpredictability of both words.

Barb Edler

Jamie, your poem is as rhythmic as the rain. I love how you capture the uncertainty of weather in your last line. Perfect spring poem!

James Coats (he/him)

Thank you for sharing this poetic form. I have never heard of the sijo, and did I ever find this form to be a challenge. I found it easier to use the English style of the poem (When written in English, sijo may be written in six lines, with each line containing two syllable groupings instead of four) than the more traditional style.

I do not mind getting my hands
a bit dirty, playing in the muck.
Often times it’s fun, a reminder
that risk can be its own reward.
Still, ten hours later and every
attempt at cohesion feels forced. 

Charlene Doland

James, I was struck by the juxtaposition in the last line. All those attempts at play, at embracing the fun, yet… Tomorrow’s another day?

Glenda Funk

James,
As one longing to dig in dirt and not snow, I feel connected to this sijo. I like the contrast between “digging in muck,” which is an undoing, to “cohesion feels forced,” a connecting, That’s a good twist.

Barb Edler

James, thanks so much for sharing your approach. I could clearly see you playing around in the muck! Your ending helps to frame the frustration of the chore. I thought your phrase about ‘that risk can be its own reward’ was provocative. Thanks for sharing your craft today!

Chea Parton

Barb! Thank you for introducing me to a new form. One thing #Verselove always reminds me is the wealth of creativity and style that exist in poetry. The images in your poem are beautiful and poignant. “Sun slivers whisper” is gorgeous! I’m not much good with counting syllables, but here’s my attempt.

Current Situation: A Sijo
 
Their monstrous footsteps fall harshly overhead, I’m worried.
Screams punctuate every heavy footfall, will the ceiling hold them?
My children holler for their water and bedtime is finally here. 

Jennifer Kowaczek

What a perfect twist to your poem! I love it.

James Coats (he/him)

This is a delightfully clever poem! And I think this is beautiful, regardless of the syllable count – you captured exactly what the sijo is meant to express.

Kim

I love the way you capture sound and movement…and childhood in this compact bundle of syllables! (I was taken to the hotel experience in the first two lines!)

Barb Edler

Chea, oh, I love your poem. The loud footfalls, the sense of relief knowing your children are finally in bed so you can have a little respite before it happens all over again. Love your word choice throughout! Gorgeous!

Heather Morris

Thank you, Barb Edler, for the Sijo challenge today. I have read Linda Sue Park’s Tap Dancing on the Roof: Sijo (Poems) before and love this form, but boy is it hard to write one of my own. Thursday is my long day, and I am sitting in the library trying my best to put something together. My head feels like it is in a fog, so that is where I went with my poem.  

Head is pounding from so much pressure; it can’t make sense of much
Thoughts scatter, words escape; there’s nothing let to formulate
Verse love is not enough for this writer – Sijo allergy

Margaret Simon

Heather, I love how you so cleverly used the exact moment in time to craft this poem. Do you get a break soon? Our spring break starts tomorrow and I’m breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Denise Krebs

Heather, what a sweet twist. I loved that internal rhyme that surprised me escape / formulate. “Sijo allergy” made me laugh.

Scott M

Heather, I’m glad your inspiration finally came! I laughed out loud at your ending: “Sijo allergy”! Thank you for writing and sharing today!

Barb Edler

Heather, oh, I can feel your pounding head, that brain fog that hits me daily. Love your humorous end. Thank you for sharing!

Jennifer Kowaczek

Spring Rain

Spring is coming soon, yesterday’s thunderstorm is proof of that.
Dark clouds inching closer, waiting at the corner for her bus to come.
Maybe I should drive over. Wait! Here comes the bus, just. In. TIME!

Thank you Barbara for today’s prompt.
I enjoy the Sijo form but haven’t written too many myself. Today is the first time I’ve seen instructions with the syllable pattern described here; like some others, I chose to follow the 15-16-15 pattern to make more sense of things for today.

I’m going to explore the more structured syllable patterns this summer when I have a bit more time to dig in deep.

Denise Krebs

Jennifer, lovely way to tackle the sijo today. Those regular storms of the spring are captured in this moment with the bus today.

Chea Parton

Hey Jennifer! It’s storming here right now and, in the most serendipitous timing, I heard thunder as I read your poem. How perfect is that? I love that middle line because it can be read different ways. My favorite way was that dark clouds were waiting for the bus too. I imagined them with backpacks and it made them seem less scary. 🙂 Thanks for embracing the possibility of imperfection and for writing today.

Barb Edler

Jennifer, I love how you are able to capture the speaker’s internal thoughts so effectively. Your word choice shows the action so well, and I love how you emphasized TIME at the end. I could see those dark clouds inching closer. Thanks so much for sharing today!

Saba T.

Barbara, thank you for introducing me to yet another poetry form. I appreciate this space so much for teaching me something new every day! Your sijo is so hauntingly beautiful.

Mine is actually in response to Glenda’s poem – winter won’t let her go and here, in Saudi Arabia, it’s gone too soon. (I couldn’t figure out the 3-4-4-4 set-up so I decided to go with a total of 46 syllables divided over the three lines as 15-15-16.)

The Sun shone bright and warm today, not sizzling yet but almost,
with a barely-there breeze and promise of even warmer days.
I wonder to myself – how much does a ticket to winter cost?

Denise Krebs

Saba, I can appreciate that weather. “not sizzling yet but almost” Sizzling is a great word to describe that heat and a “barely-there” breeze. You nailed this! (Good idea with the syllable count.)

Susie Morice

Saba — I love the twist you gave it at the end… made me smile. Love the whole idea of buying a “ticket to winter.” It seems to me that you “sijoed” just fine! 🙂 Saudie Arabia, wow! Susie

Heather Morris

I did not expect your twist at the end. Your first two lines described our day in MA, and I am so excited for more.

Margaret Simon

Ha! Louisiana is like Saudi in that temperate climate. We have the breeze that promises even warmer days. I’m making plans for summer travel and first on my list is cool weather!

Glenda Funk

Saba,
We are dissatisfied humans where weather is concerned. I lived and taught in Yuma, Arizona years ago and remember well the 100+ temperatures and missing snow. I thought I’d grown into winter, had actually come to like it, even the shoveling snow part, but this year has challenged even the most diehard snow lovers. You have an open invitation to come to Idaho.,Even in summer we find cool nights a few hours away in Yellowstone, but if you come in January, you’ll long to run for the sun!

Barb Edler

Saba, I can feel this heat you’re experiencing in your sijo. I have to laugh at your twist as I know a lot of people do not wish for a ticket to winter. Delightful sijo. Thanks so much for sharing today!

Denise Krebs

Barb, I’m glad I got to spend some time with the sijo (sheejo–thanks for teaching me that.) I now can see that it is a worthy challenge. So many details to attend to. Mine isn’t quite right, but you have inspired me.

The double morning/mourning in your poem is powerful, especially in the title. The images are so vivid, like: “Sun slivers whisper, rise spirits, as we stumble

I ran across this statue today, and just had to write about it. And Jennifer’s prompt keeps finding its way into my poems!

A grotesque menagerie
keeps Notre Dame from vile villains.
Once almost decayed and lost,
Hugo’s novel renewed this church.
Now I gargoyle in the desert,
defended and protected.

Screenshot 2023-04-06 165242.jpg
Cara F

Denise,
I love that you included the picture–it confirms the beauty of your lines! The allusions make it rich with layers and I can just feel the history in his journey to the desert with the brilliant blue skies.

Margaret Simon

I love how you changed gargoyle to a verb. That challenge was so hard for my young students who are barely adept at speaking correctly. It was funny to hear them criticize my poem. “You can’t say that Mrs. Simon.” Ha! but we can! We are poets, and we have a license.

Maureen Ingram

Absolutely love the line “now i gargoyle in the desert”. Just gorgeous!

Glenda Funk

Denise,
I have images of Ozymandias as I read your poem. Love the verbing of gargoyle. Yes, Inget hints of Notre Dame, too. The gargoyle as desert protector is incongruous but a neat notion.

Barb Edler

Denise, your sijo is an absolute delight! I love the photo to accompany your poem as well. Your language develops the story line so beautifully! Your final two words were so impactful. Thank you!

Susie Morice

[Note: Barb, I just flat-out could not sijo my way properly through a poem. But I enjoyed watching the video of the guy you linked for us, and I’ll try this form again someday.]

Last Night’s Watercolors Class

Her brush swiped from water to paint,
            turned paper into blues;
stems rose, petals bent across toothy rag,
            absorbing the wet, rendering irises,
while I painted a bunny
            much like I’d done in seventh grade.

by Susie Morice, April 6, 2023©

Denise Krebs

Oh, Susie, what a treasure! I laughed aloud at the twist at the end. I think this is worthy of calling it a sijo. (I won’t count syllables!) What an amazing switch from the artistic descriptions of her, and then the simple seventh grade of your art. I love this so much, for I can relate!

Chea Parton

Susie! That twist had me chuckling out loud. The contrast is perfect. I also think your poem says something really important about talent and art. It had me wondering if that artist could write a sijo as good as this one. Thanks so much for writing today.

Jamie Langley

I love the contrast between the first two lines and the last. You begin with an appreciation and end with contentment.

Glenda Funk

Susie,
LOL! I’m a seventh grade painter, too. Where is Bob Ross when we need his happy little trees? I felt serious as though in a museum reading the first two lines. Then you hit me w/ kindergarten. This was a fun read.

Barb Edler

Susie, I love your poem. I am not an artist and I’ve participated in painting classes. I try to follow the exact instructions, but it never looks quite right. I can understand your poem because of this experience. I can see that effortless artist creating such beauty, and the feeling that I’ve created something like your bunny from seventh grade. I’m so happy you shared your stunning craft with us today. Your title is, by the way, perfect! Hugs!

Katrina Morrison

Barb, I was excited and daunted by this prompt. I actually finished it before school, but then, well, school happened so here it goes…

Only once have I witnessed the spectacle of mammatus clouds
Full of milk, thousands of breasts descend from the sky
But for all of their beauty, they were not there to be suckled.

Denise Krebs

Oh, Katrina, this is so beautiful. I had never heard that name before, but I believe the sky in the town in the movie The Magician’s Elephant was full of this kind of cloud. Now I have a name for them. I’m so glad you are able to keep writing and posting in the midst of the busyness of school. Bless you! I like the word “spectacle” as you used it here.

Cara F

Katrina,
Your poem sent me to Google to find pictures–what amazing clouds! I love your imagery, they were just what I expected after reading your lines. And yes, school happens, doesn’t it? Amazing how the hours just fly.

Heather Morris

I looked up this type of cloud. I have never seen them before. The comparison in line 2 is perfect.

Katrina Morrison

our one and only sighting

2DF5AB17-7CB3-4ACF-96C7-9630A5221C1A.jpeg
Barb Edler

Ohhh. I love this, Katrina! I am not familiar with mammatus clouds but now I am totally intrigued. “they were not there to be suckled’…absolutely love that final phrase. Fantastic sijo! Thank you!

Stefani B

Barb, thank you for hosting today and introducing this new form with a twist. I lost patience with syllable counting (even with using a digital syllable counter), so I’ve left it under 44 syllables (ahhhhh;)).

they swarm, soar, as solos in the sky, or as t-s or in v-s 
migrating, fluttering shadows as they cross the sun’s path
aero-humans buckled in metal wings, destinations unknown

Kim Johnson

Beautiful! I was fishing Saturday in Beaufort, SC right off Parris Island and saw the fighter jets practicing for a show overhead. You bring back the memory of those moments!

Glenda Funk

Stefani,
This is clever. We often see geese flying in formation as we are in their flight path, so that’s the image I had in my mind for the first two lines. Then you had the clever image of hang-gliding (?), which I love watching but could never do. I’m not counting syllables because this sijo is perfect as is.

Mo Daley

Oh, I love your twist, Stefani! I was thinking, “What a lovely nature poem!”

Susan Ahlbrand

The S sounds really give this added power!

Denise Krebs

Yes, I love reading the sijos, no matter how many syllables they have. This is so fun, and the twist at the end really surprises. That first line is beautiful with all the /s/ sounds, and the I like the “t-s or in v-s”, which took me twice to read it. Well done, Stefani.

Anna J. Small Roseboro

Stefani, reading other’s responses reveals once again that what we know or have experienced influences what we SEE when we read! Birds or planes. Each can support their “vision” with lines from the Poem. Cool!

Barb Edler

Stefani, your language is beautiful capturing the movement of geese. Loved “fluttering shadows” and “destinations unknown”. Beautiful and compelling sijo!

Susan O

I tried to get it finished shoveling dirt over the grave
flowers scattered, bills to pay, worn out, weary and more to do.
Memories lighten my heart because you are ever present.

Stefani B

Susan, this is a bit dark and then with a light twist. I appreciate your first line as a dark them to start off. Thank you for sharing.

Kim Johnson

Susan, he will be present with you forevermore. I’m praying for your strength and for you to feel him lifting you, guiding you – and that you see his presence in the dark places. Prayers and hugs, my friend.

Mo Daley

Susan, your poem feels therapeutic to me. I think you got it down to what is really important in the end.

Denise Krebs

Susan, I just read your poem from Saturday, and I am so very sorry to hear about the death of your husband. This poem is everything–your “shoveling dirt” grief and the “flowers scattered, bills to pay” details of too much to do. But that last line, I thank God that you can have a lighter heart already and that he remains present. Thank you for sharing this beauty today.

Anna J. Small Roseboro

Susan, thanks so much for sharing the aftermath of the loss of your dear and longtime spouse. Yes, writing with a supportive, open minded group like this helps us process our joys and our sorrows. In your case, it’s both … the joys you shared with him, and the sorrow that that part of your life has ended, but memories help sustain you. Hugs.

Susan O

Thank you all for you supportive comments. I am hanging in there and do have lots of peace. Today was the first day that I could put more energy into writing and commenting as well. You are all special to me.

Barb Edler

Susan, wow, your sijo invites so many emotions in me. I can feel the need to do what one has to do, but your opening line is especially chilling. I like the positive twist at the end. Fantastic poem! Thank you!

Dave Wooley

Barbara,
This is such an interesting form that I didn’t know about until today. It was a challenge (math—yikes!!!) but it definitely forced me out of my comfort zone. Thanks for the prompt and your gorgeous melancholy poem.

Facing tracks as train’s delayed, looking left, right—thoughts come in gusts.
Wondering about journeys, destinations. Paths we follow.
How they end. I’m told someone’s been struck. The tracks stretch on, out of sight.

Stefani B

Dave, the concept of “thoughts come in gusts” is powerful and practical. Thank you for sharing today.

Kim Johnson

Dave, the tracks going on out of sight on the heels of someone being struck indicate perhaps the foreshadowing thought of how journeys end. You have foreshadowing and symbolism wrapped around the fact – someone’s been struck. This is real life suffering for another person and the family of the struck one.

Glenda Funk

Dave,
This sijo is so timely given recent news of derailments. This symbol of western movement and promise no longer holds its nineteenth century promises, yet the tracks stretch on. On another note: My high school debate partner died when a train hit his vehicle years ago.

Mo Daley

Yikes! This was quite a story in so few syllables. Your middle line does a really nice job of transitioning.

Barb Edler

Oh, Dave, I am in constantly dealing with trains where I live. They blast at 3 am and I know the frustration of being stuck behind one. I love how you tied this into journeys and destinations. The sudden line of “I’m told someone’s been struck” is jarring. I feel your sijo and can see those tracks stretching out of sight. Powerful poem!

cmhutter

Honestly, this was really a challenge for me today. I read the prompt early this morning and let it rattle around in my brain for a bit but the format of 3-4-4-4 grouping was stumping to me.I need to explore that further. No topics were popping up in my mind. So I decided to read some more and thank you to Stacey Joy for saying she went with 15-16-15 syllables in 3 lines. This freed me up to approach the poem and I wrote about the struggle of writing for me today.

No spark, no flame, just waiting for something to ignite and catch
Oh a flicker growing, spreading, erupting to an inferno
Writer’s block unfrozen, scrawling to capture creative thoughts.

Susan O

Beautifully captured the Sijo, I think. Your poem shows that the writer’s block is unfrozen.

Stefani B

CM, this is exactly how I felt with the numbers today. I am loving “erupting to an inferno” and am glad you wrote with us today.

Kim Johnson

Cm, the absence of spark to the inferno seems to happen like a raging prairie fire when it happens. And then there are days – and yet here you are capturing the essence of the inspiration – the feeling of the anticipation of the spark.

Glenda Funk

CM,
Way to find the twist when stumped. I also struggled w/ the 3-4-4-4 and have no clue whether or not I accomplished it. Like Dave, math challenges me!

Heather Morris

I was having the same problem tonight. I have about 4 different poems in my notebook. Nothing was coming together. I love your second line and wish a flicker erupted for me tonight.

Anna J. Small Roseboro

I join the circle of admirers of the clever way you exemplify the structure and our attempts to model it! Thanks for showing us both!

Katrina Morrison

New to the form, I admire the twist your poem takes. It is amazing how we go from “no spark” to “scrawling to capture creative thoughts.”

Jamie Langley

I like how you begin with images and close with a clear statement. Your first two lines go from something small – a spark to to an inferno. And all done in 3 lines.

Barb Edler

You’ve captured the writing block issue so well. I agree that a sijo is really difficult. Your word choice is fantastic. I love the contrast between heat and cold. When the dam breaks, it’s a relief, and yet, it can be difficult to “capture creative thoughts”. Thank you for sharing this relatable poem about writing!

Rita DiCarne

Barb, thank you for sharing a new to me format. This one was challenging. Your poem was so thoughtful and beautiful-mine not so much. Not much deep happening in my mind this week. 😆

Easter break – a time for baking ricotta pie and Easter bread
A delicious expected tradition year after year
Not this year – surgery sidelined 
There’s always next year, I guess 

Kim Johnson

Rita, Easter Bread! That sounds delicious! I hope surgery goes well. Maybe you can just delay the bread and have it in May! 😊

Rita DiCarne

Thanks, Kim. Surgery went well, just not up to baking. I was thinking the same thing…better late than never.

cmhutter

Sorry that surgery has sidelined your tradition this year but that line was the twist I didn’t expect. Hope you have a Happy Easter!

Glenda Funk

Rita,
I hope your surgery went well. This Easter, eat out or let someone else do the cooking. And your dishes sound yummy.

Heather Morris

I am sorry that “surgery sidelined” your plans. Your dishes sound wonderful. I have not made either of them before.

Barb Edler

Oh, Rita, I love how you capture an important tradition, and I have barely eaten a thing all day so as I read this my appetite is sharply poked. I hope you’re able to heal quickly. Some things really add a damper to the holidays.

Susan Ahlbrand

Barb,
Thank you so much for the exposure to a new poem form. I like it. A lot. Your mentor poem is fabulous.

as we stumble, numb and blind

captures so much.

My Mind

Ruminating sensitive overthinker. Many brain worms
taking root, finding harbor in the dark spots formed years before.
To find light, I face my demons.  Why won’t they leave?  And stay gone?

Ashley

Susan,

Your poem speaks to my heart so much! The imagery and personification of the brain worms is so powerful and captures how invasive those thoughts can become.

Rita DiCarne

Brain worms – those dastardly things! Your poem really hit home because I too am a sensitive over thinker.

gayle sands

…the dark spots formed years before…what wonderful resting places they offer. And what a perfect metaphor!

Denise Krebs

Susan, I just went back and read your Virtual Reality poem from Saturday. What a gorgeous poem and such an honor to write in this space with you. Some of the poems you have written over the years have touched my heart and being therapy to my soul, so I thank you for those and I’m so glad you are in this space. Your poem today is so honest and pure. “Ruminating” is such a great word for what the mind does. And those “brain worms taking root” Yowza! So well put. I love “To find light, I face my demons.”

Susan Ahlbrand

Thank you for the kind words, Denise. I feel the same about you. We are blessed.

Barb Edler

Susan, your sijo is so moving. I am every part of this poem, overthinking, wondering why I cannot let some things go, especially demons. “My Mind” is the perfect title. I am amazed how your words capture the pain of facing demons and the desire to escape them so effectively. Your poem is so powerful and thought-provoking sijo. Thank you!

Stacey Joy

Hi Barb! Thank you for a real challenge this morning. I spent some time looking at samples, thanks for the tips! I was stuck for a bit and then went with the 15, 16, 15 syllable count. Those groupings made my brain hurt. I may need a lesson in the 3-4-4-4 strategy.

Your poem speaks to the collective grief of America and individual grief in times of loss. I feel it in my soul. “Sun slivers whisper…” soothes my weariness. Thank you for your offering today and for pushing me to try a sijo.

Buzz

Flowers blossoming joy in spring. Long winter’s gone, full sunshine beams. 
Dancing pink petals, hummingbirds flitter and dive for nectar 
June Bug! Here you go again! Can I please enjoy the peace? Eeeek! 

©Stacey L. Joy, April 6, 2023

Glenda Funk

Stacey,
That 3-4-4-4 formatting is a mind bender. I need lots of work before I master that! I am so jealous of your spring June Bug buzzing. Send him my way! Your poem creates a visual garden I saunter through in my mind. Baby Jesus knows I have no spring here.

Kim Johnson

Stacey, I need the 3-4-4-4 tutorial too! I can’t count. Love that you use joy in your poem! The delights of spring, and then those loud junebugs. Perfect onomatopoeia at the end!

cmhutter

I was struggling to figure out the 3-4-4-4 strategy and it was giving me writer’s block. I am going to see if your 15-16-15 frees up some thoughts for me so I can write. So I glad that I was reading before trying a 2nd attempt at today’s prompt. Thank you for sharing your strategy.

The first two lines and so lovely visually and soothing then that disrupting 3rd line is really a twist. Love the eek at the end.

Saba T.

Stacey,
I’m also struggling with the 3-4-4-4 structure and I might also stick with making my poem 44-46 syllables over three lines.
Love how your sijo changes tone in the last line!

Susan O

Hee! Your June Bug gave a surprise. It is beautiful here today and I was in agreement with your description. Haven’t heard our June bugs yet. Soon there will be the dodging of their sound as they dive bomb us in passing.

Susie Morice

Stacey — You made me chuckle…those pesky june bugs… so…well… crunchy! LOL! Hugs, Susie

Barb Edler

Oh, Stacey, you have me laughing out loud. I absolutely love the tranquil opening and how you lead to your fantastic twist. I totally understand June bugs. They are the most annoying! “Eeeek!” is right. Thank you for the hearty laugh on this late night.

DeAnna C.

Barb,
Thank you for teaching me a new poetry style. 🙂 I’ve enjoyed working through the rules/structure of Sijo, now I’m hopeful I did it correctly.

Home roasting, beans to perfection, grinding them up just right
Set water to boil, pour over, drip drop drip, steeping slowly
Place in the fridge to chill, sever over ice with caramel and cream

Glenda Funk

DeAnna
Your sijo reminds me I’d planned to make French drip coffee in retirement and savor the slow brewing goodness. This sijo belongs on Day 2 w/ Kim’s coffee prompt as well as here among other sijos.

Kim Johnson

Deanna, your poem is a quick ten pound gain! Caramel and cream. Oh my….you roast your own coffee beans??? Whoa!

DeAnna C.

Yes, but only in the summer and only at my friend’s house. She and her wonderful husband order organic green beans. I love the smell of their home on roasting day.

gayle sands

DeAnna—please, have me over for coffee!! Your description of the process is exquisite!!

Susan O

At first I didn’t know what you were doing. Coffee over ice cream? A new idea for me and I am sure to try it. I do have a French press. Thanks for the idea.

Cara F

DeAnna,
All those years smelling your coffee in our classroom and this brings it all back. I may not drink coffee, but I love the smell and you evoke that really vividly.

Jamie Langley

Delish! do you really roast your beans? 3 steps to a lovely sweet drink. Following steps.

DeAnna C.

Yes, in the summer at my friend’s house.

James Coats (he/him)

DeAnna – I imagine it must smell wonderful when you roast the beans. My mouth is already starting to water. And caramel and cream? How deliciously delightful! The inclusion of “drip drop drip” adds such a lovely bit of auditory imagery to the poem and makes it a real treat for the senses.

DeAnna C.

The home smells amazing when we roast. I only do it in the summer but it is the best coffee.

Rachelle

I love the way you took this! The gustatory imagery is making me salivate. I’m coming over to your house this summer!

Barb Edler

Your opening line pulled me right into the action of your poem. I could smell the coffee, and when you get to that end with “ice with caramel and cream” I am drooling! Very fun sijo!

Mo Daley

Hi Barb. No idea if this is the correct form or not. Thankfully the oven repair guys are here today to give me a few minutes to attempt this soji!

Woodpecker Soji
By Mo Daley 4/6/2023

early spring, downy woodpeckers scare the nuthatches away
creating happy chaos amongst the morning revelers
a passerine party to which I am not invited 

Glenda Funk

Mo,
Your sijo is quite a contrast to Maureen’s and the woodpeckers awaiting spring. I love watching spring unfold and not in these poems. I long for the “happy chaos” and other “morning revelers.” Alas, I’ll live vicariously in your poem.

Stacey Joy

Mo, great way to bring the sijo twist! I love how you love your feathered friends!
💛

Kim Johnson

A passerine party of revelers! You bring such imagery and personality to the bird life! I’m smiling at the flutters!

Denise Krebs

Mo, I learned a new bird name “passerine” and passerine party is a great phrase. I also like the “happy chaos” of the “morning revelers.” It sounds like spring has sprung at your house. Hopefully the oven is back in order!

Barb Edler

Mo, I love the action of your sijo, and the humor provided in your final line is absolutely divine! “happy chaos” is such a delightful combination of words. Hope your oven is now functional!

Glenda Funk

Barb,
This is hard! Both your sijo and the mentor poems amaze me. The grief in your poem squeezes my heart. I both feel and see the stumbling and the somber tone. Exquisite poem. I created a Canva representation of my poem but received a message saying the file is too large.

Sans Spring: Sijo

This snow globed white winter hushed spring’s promised renewal.

No birdsong robins, sparrows, nor finches sing in leafless trees.

We wing our way to vulture paradise in death valley’s barren blooming dunes.

—Glenda Funk
April 6, 2023

Maureen Ingram

Clever twist to have you become the birds, winging your way south. I have long wanted to visit Death Valley.

DeAnna C.

Glenda,
I was not expecting that twist. I enjoy the visual of “snow globed white winter.” Thank you for sharing today.

Stacey Joy

Boy oh boy, Glenda, I know you are sick of the snow. I’m glad you’re “winging your way to vulture paradise” and getting some sun.

☀️

Kim Johnson

Glenda, old man winter just seems to have you in its grip and won’t let go! Perfect opportunity for a poem – the stillness without birds is heard and felt! The mention of Death Valley feels colder still. Stay warm, my friend!

Saba T.

Glenda, love the title and twist of your sijo. Wonderful writing – as always!

gayle sands

“ Snow globed white winter” Wow,Glenda, way to set a stage!!

Susie Morice

Glenda — I love the shift from that way-too-long winter to Death Valley. I’ve watched videos of those “blooming dunes.” Amazing! Enjoy the trip, my friend! Hugs, Susie

Denise Krebs

Wow, your winter just keeps on giving! (Saba should make a trip to Idaho! See her poem.) I love so much about your poem “hushed spring’s promised renewal” and “vulture paradise in death valley’s barren blooming dunes” Wow! A mouthful of beauty. I love Death Valley (in winter). By the way, Glenda, I sometimes add photos too that are too big, if you use the Snipping Tool (or screenshot) you can get a less dense file that this site will handle.

Barb Edler

Glenda, wow, I love this contrast from the winter white to the “barren blooming dunes”. The snow globe is such a magical opening, and I appreciate the sense of hope and renewal your sijo offers. Your second line adds such depth with the focus on the birds and leafless trees. “We wing our way to vulture paradise” is the perfect twist. I can clearly see this shift in landscape. Stunning sijo! Love it!

Cara F

I am home for most of the day today with a furnace repair (fun times!), so I got my poem done a bit early. I like this form, long syllable count poems are just the right amount of structure.

Waiting out the long winter cold with rainy weeks and months
is an exercise in stamina which tests our mettle 
until spring finally breaks through and colors the world again.

DeAnna C.

Wow, look at you go. I know you enjoy your structured poetry. This style suits you well. 🙂 Thank you for sharing today. Now if spring would finally break here…

Glenda Funk

Cara,
You’ve channeled my thoughts. We’re waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I’m praying this poem.

Denise Krebs

Cara, yes, an “exercise in stamina” is a great description of “waiting out the long winter cold.” That is a beautiful image of how spring “colors the world again.” Happy spring! It’s always such a hopeful time of year, and your poem expresses that hope!

Rachelle

We totally were inspired by the dreary weather. I love the way you took yours. Spring should be here soon, right??

Barb Edler

Cara, I love how you’ve captured so perfectly the reason we love spring after a long cold winter. Your final line is divine: “until spring finally breaks through and colors the world again.” Such a timely sijo. Beautifully crafted!

Maureen Y Ingram

Barb, your poem is breathtaking, almost a prayer about mourning, I think. I am particularly captivated by this fragment of the last line, “rise spirits, as we stumble,” which feels holy to me.

Sijo is a very challenging form! I struggled here; and look forward to struggling again, trying new approaches to this mysterious new form.

in vigil

hard maple is languishing, broken branches hollowing 
split by wind, gashed and brittle, limbs bereft of leafing green  
with rhythmic drum of grieving, woodpecker feasts in vigil 

Glenda Funk

Maureen,
I struggled, too. Your sijo reads as though you’re describing my yard. Our birds grieve w/ us. Powerful words: languishing, gashed brittle. These describe me, too.

Denise Krebs

Glenda, “these describe me, too” made me laugh out loud.

Susie Morice

Ahhh, I’m a lover of the woodpecker… they do, indeed, love all the broken places. Nicely done, Maureen! Susie

Susan Ahlbrand

Maureen,
This is beautiful and feels like it came off easily. The -ing words really propel the images. I just keep thinking about the idea of

woodpecker feasts in vigil

Denise Krebs

Maureen, I hope the maple makes it somehow. “feasts in vigil” is quite an amazing phrase, and I can see those woodpeckers.

Barb Edler

Maureen, oh my, I love the word choice throughout your poem. You’ve captured the woodpecker perfectly. I am always in awe seeing and hearing them busily feeding. I love how you’ve captured the sound, the imagery, and the emotion through the woodpeckers feasting. “drum of grieving” is particularly captivating. Fantastic sijo!

Anna J. Small ROSEBORO

What? Think?
 
Student talk teaches
Them to
talk and listen
Reading
widely teaches
Them to
read and reflect
Writing
regularly teaches them to write
To express
and to expound
Why do we
teachers try to curb any 
When all
three teach students to think? 
Is thinking
the problem?

Anna J. Small ROSEBORO

I clicked post before the picture uploaded. Enjoy!

Thinking.jpg
Maureen Y Ingram

Why do we
teachers try to curb any”
Excellent question! Let’s all think on this!

gayle sands

Perhaps it is, Anna. It’s all about test scores these days, it seems. I remember when teaching was about talking, and reading, and writing about our thinking. It was fun…

Barb Edler

Anna, wow, I love how your lead us to the big question: Is thinking the problem? What a perfect poem for today’s AI world. I need to sit with this poem, considering all the twists to teaching, talking, listening, and for me, the most important part is the reflection where we are really asked to dig in and think.

Rachel S

Heart Song
“I hear your heart beeping,” she says, at age two: be-Beep, be-Beep
Laughing, I hold her close and hear hers too: thu-Thum, thu-Thum
fleshy drums beating in sync; keep pulsing, please never stop

gayle sands

That brought joy to my soul. Please never stop…

Maureen Y Ingram

fleshy drums beating in sync” – love this so much! What a sweet image.

cmhutter

This is so lovely- filled with joy, tenderness and the wish of our loved ones living with us forever. I enjoyed your two different choices for the sounds of hearbeats.

Chea Parton

Rachel, this really tugged at me. That please never stop feels like a prayer – the same way the lines “please don’t take my sunshine away” do when I sing to my kids every night. There is so much packed into this little poem. Joy and giggles and fear and hope and longing. Wow. And I love that title.

Rachel S

Thank you! I sing “You are my Sunshine” to my girls too & I totally agree – although I hadn’t thought of the connection before you mentioned it. Thanks!

Barb Edler

Rachel, beautiful sijo. I love your title, and I can hear the precious heartbeats. Your ending three words say it all. Yes, “please never stop”. Priceless!

Scott M

Contemplating Sijos

Leaning back, bare feet propped up, slippers discarded on the floor,
coffee cup in one hand – pencil in the other,
I count off syllables with my fingers and toes.

___________________________________________________________

Barb, thank you for this poetic puzzle today!  This form was new to me, and I enjoyed exploring it.  Now, I didn’t quite make the syllable “requirements,” but who’s counting…oh, that’s right, I was. lol

Maureen Y Ingram

Hahaha, I forgot to use my toes! This may well have helped me with my sijo. Thank you, Scott!

DeAnna C.

Scott,
I too enjoy writing poetry with coffee in hand. As for the counting, I’ve really come to enjoy using the technology of online syllable counter. 🙂

Saba T.

Scott, that last line made me laugh. Such a cozy picture you’ve painted with this sijo.

Heather Morris

I love the visual you created of a poet at work. I am at the library counting syllables on the desk with both hands – almost like playing the piano. I am stuck, though. Nothing good is coming.

Susie Morice

Scott — A funny image. You should take a picture of this and hang it in your office…counting syllables… a crazy task for sure. Susie

Katrina Morrison

Scott, to “count off syllables with my fingers and toes” is hilarious and much safer than counting while driving

Barb Edler

Scott, I often use my hands to count the syllables. I love how I can clearly see this scene!

Barb Edler

Hello, writers! I have a huge commitment today that requires a long drive, etc. I hope to be back online later this afternoon for a bit, but I may not be able to respond to everyone’s sijos until late tonight or tomorrow morning. I can’t wait to read more and just do not want anyone to think they are being ignored by my absence. Until then, happy writing!

Susie Morice

Safe travels, Barb! Susie

Ashley

Leg Day
My body calls for movement begs me to go a five day split
Thirty pounds straight-leg deadlift, hinge movement, bowing to self
Too heavy, go lower next set, me versus me each new day

brcrandall

Ashley, I’m simply in awe of the lift! You got this! I’m still processing my midlife resistance to the gym routines I used to have. Always “me versus me each new day.” You got this!

Ashley

Thank you. It is the one place I don’t think about anything else!

Ann Burg

I identified with the heaviness, the drudgery of physical exercise(thirty pounds straight-leg lift!) and just as I ‘m panting two heavy, go lower next set, your opponent lightens the whole poem in the final three beats. Bravo! (for the poem and however many leg lifts you do!)

Ashley

Thank you! I think it is a deeply personal relationship between the weights and myself.

Barb Edler

Ashley, I can feel those heavy weights, and I love how you invite us to feel your efforts and strength even though you have to readjust the weights. Powerful sijo. Good luck with your weight-lifting goals!

Ashley

Thank you Barb!

Maureen Y Ingram

me versus me each new day” – that is so impressive, Ashley! My sons love weightlifting; I’m more of a spectator, I guess, lol.

Ashley

Thank you! I think comparisons in gym culture are dangerous, but when I think about just wanting to focus on my own goals, it is liberating.

Glenda Funk

Ashley,
I feel the weight of weights and words. Love the “me against me” phrase. We need this gym attitude in ELA classrooms. Wonderful poem.

Ashley

Thank you! I think if students treated their writing with that type of attitude, maybe they would feel more powerful as writers.

Jordan S.

Thank you, Barb, for introducing a new form. I combined it with the poetic drive-bys of yesterday to write a small something for my husband.

For Brandon
Blue light of morning arrives with a rooster’s crow. Your back,
Freckle-spotted, appears, my arm draped over your warm hip.
We savor quiet breaths, simple touch before daughters wake. 

Rachel S

YES. I relate to this so well. The warm moments in bed together before the kids wake – so perfectly captured in your poem. I love it. “We savor quiet breaths, simple touch.” Thank you!

Barb Edler

Jordan, this is so awesome. I love the sequence and that you were able to reshape yesterday’s poem into a sijo. Loved your last line and the physical details, the appeal of warmth, and I can clearly see the “Freckle-spotted”. Lovely poem! Thank you!

Maureen Y Ingram

Sweet gift of a poem for your husband! You captured such a tender moment.

Glenda Funk

Jordan,
I love the intimacy in this sijo. “Savor” is the perfect word to express quite love moments.

gayle sands

This poem is like the montage opening of a wonderful romantic movie—all soft and quiet and loving. Thank you.

Susan O

This is so romantic! So personal! I love the sleepy quietness and the freckle-spotted back.

Ann Burg

Thank you Barb, for introducing me to yet another new poetic form. To think so few syllables could capture something so wide and deep as in the Departure of Mourning! Your captured perfectly the stumble of life that does on after a deep sorrow.

Childhood Memory

I believed in fairy tales, happy ever, happy after,
holding tight my father’s hand, love surrounding, grace abounding—
til watching from his cardboard mat, the homeless man turned away. 

Julie E Meiklejohn

Wow…you’ve really captured that moment of awakening, when we really start to see the world as it is. I love the play with words “happy ever, happy after”–it’s interesting how this type of form really makes you think about the words and phrases you’re choosing.

Jordan S.

I love the alliteration of “love surrounding, grace abounding.” It creates such a nice rhythm in the center of the poem. The twist of how one’s view of the world starts to change with age is very powerful in these three lines.

Barb Edler

Ann, WOW! The opening line drew me in to your poem, followed by you holding your father’s hand. The grace and love accentuate this bond. Your twist is definitely jarring. Kudos!

Ashley

Ann,

You captured the innocence of a child and how we cross over into adulthood once we see harder realities. The way your words flow felt almost like a whisper sending wisdom to your audience.

brcrandall

BOOM! Ann. A poem-poem. Stunning & brilliant execution of today’s challenge. Who else wants to teach this to others as soon as they can?

Maureen Y Ingram

What a pivot in the last line – I feel the rawness of your ‘learning,’ the ‘pop’ of dreams.

Glenda Funk

Ann,
Brilliant twist in the sijo. And without invoking the “happily ever after” phrasing, you’ve put it in my mind, nevertheless, with the image of the homeless man sleeping on a bed of cardboard. I wonder what fairytales he learned as a child.

Andy Schoenborn

Waves lapping. Gentle swaying. Rippled movement. Autumn rising.
Cool waters. Gentle horseplay. Canoe rocking. Water splashing.
Calming breeze. A swift rushing sound. My wife pushed me in – so cold.

Susie Morice

Andy — I love the ease of the first two lines and then the SPLASH…made me laugh… wife…so cold. LOL! I think I even squealed a little at the Sijo twist you did in line 3. Cool beans! Susie

Rachel S

This is so fun. What a sweet memory to capture in poem form. I love how you worked with the sijo formula – simple pictures in each section that work together to create this image of Autumn on a lake. Thanks!

Ashley

Andy,

Your poem begins with such serene imagery and has wistful tone. The end with the ornery action of your wife pushing you in made me smile.

Barb Edler

Andy, I love the way you create such a peaceful Autumn day and all it’s fun and beauty. Your end has me laughing out loud! Fantastic sijo! Thank you!

brcrandall

Obviously, Scott…It’s the last sentence. That’s what woke me up to this sijo’s brilliance!

Maureen Y Ingram

Awesome twist at that third line. Such a sweet day along the water, until that shock.

Margaret Simon

I love this! I can just imagine you pointing that manly finger at your wife, “She made me do it!”

James Coats (he/him)

Andy, this is incredible writing. Using just 9, 2 word phrases, you bring an entire scene effortlessly to life. I’m in awe of how gentle this all feels – every word is exactly where it needs to be.

Angie Braaten

Barb! Thanks for introducing me to a new form!!! Love the counting and content form of sijo! The imagery is just so intense in yours. You did a wonderful job with the economy of words and the meaning expressed with spreading the ashes. I loved reading many examples in the site you shared also. Something has been weighing very heavy on my mind lately and I’m sure it will come out in another poem this month, but couldn’t write about anything else right now.

A Plea

A father 
who loves and gives 
all for his kids’
best interest.

Children who
are who they are
kind, strong, cool, smart
partially him

Who’ll they be 
if he’s stripped away? 
Hope the world
never has to know.

Rachel S

Oh, my heart goes out to you & yours. This sounds so hard, I can feel the aching and the yearning. I was drawn to your title, “A Plea,” and the question in your last section “Who’ll they be / if he’s stripped away?” Such a beautiful poem.

Barb Edler

Oh, Angie, I can understand the heaviness shared here. Your second section is so compelling, and I love how it shows how children are often so reflective of their parents.

Maureen Y Ingram

Such a painful, open-ended, ‘we must wait and see’ question –
Who’ll they be 
if he’s stripped away? “

brcrandall

Barbara, I envy the simplicity and calm of Eastern traditions. While in Japan, I forced myself to only write and think in haikus (where my Western, excessive self allowed for epic haikus….that is, 100s of haikus on one subject). In my head, I try to be Buddhist-calm. In reality, this brain montages a million and one thoughts every second. Thank you for inviting it to breathe this morning…to focus…to decide. If I had a third hand (or even a fourth) I’d master the syllable counting. I landed on 45, I believe. Your sijo was stunning…especially the twist with the stumble. Gorgeous.

Decisions

Maneki-miko metronome, morning music, rhythmic waves
Me, macaronic kyojīn emptying ocean with fork – 
Choice: 60 seconds of misery or this minute in bliss.

*Japanese nerd notes: maneki-miko (waving cat), kyojīn (lunatic).
*English nerd note: macaronic (mixing languages in context of one another)

Wendy Everard

Bryan, this poem indulged my language love…and felt 100% relatable.

Julie E Meiklejohn

Oh my goodness! I strive for this on the daily–the peace and calm of Buddha. Don’t ever get even close. I really loved your last line–isn’t it the truth, that we have that choice, every minute, no matter what’s happening? Thank you for the nudge to remember this, once again!

Barb Edler

Bryan, I love that you were able to capture these Japanese words into your sijo! I love it! Your twist at the end is delivered exquisitely. Amazing sijo! Thank you for your kind words and showing us a cultural response!

Maureen Y Ingram

So great that you wove in Japanese words; love the perspective/choices of the last line…we decide how to meet each moment. Also, I adore the personality insight “emptying ocean with fork.”

Glenda Funk

Bryan,
I love the code switching. Thank you for translating so I can have the waving cat image in my mind as I read. Like you, so many thoughts in our overstimulated western mindset invade my bliss, my peace. Having options is a brilliant twist in the third line.

Wendy Everard

Barb, good morning! Thanks for this wonderful opportunity to play today. Loved your moving poem, and I’m definitely feeling similar sentiments this week and am wondering when and if the day will come when I click on the news and don’t feel this way. However, the good news: spring has finally sprung here in CNY, and here is a sijo about my walk yesterday. 🙂

Rusty screen door squeak of trees swaying in a stiff spring breeze
Call to tiny black-capped sparrow dissipates on a wind gust
Snake unwinds from throat as – damn! – my scarf tumbles down the road.

Angie Braaten

Love the imagery mixed with the playfulness of the last line! 🙂

Barb Edler

Oh, Wendy, what a delightful Sijo! I am so impressed with the color and appeal to sound and imagery throughout your poem. Loved “tiny black-capped sparrow dissipates.” Your ending twist/metaphor is perfectly captured! Glad you’re able to enjoy some spring weather and thank you for sharing your amazing craft with us today!

Fran Haley

Wendy, the sensory detail is so alive in your verse. That rusty screen door – I hear it and am a child again at my grandparents’ home deep in the country. The squeaking movement of trees, the sparrow, the gust of wind, the unsnaking of that scarf – spring has sprung indeed! Exactly how it it is.

Maureen Y Ingram

Love the twist of the last line … such great imagery of the power of strong winds. I am absolutely captivated by the second line and the sparrow dissipating on the wind gust – how often have I witnessed this? They are so small and tender!

Julie E Meiklejohn

Beautiful, Barb! I read about the form, then I read your poem, then I went back and saw how you had broken up the ideas in your poem into clear sections–genius! This form really forced me to slow down and think about specific words, what they meant, what I wanted them to say.
One of my senior classes is working their way through 1984–this pair of sijos captures part of a conversation yesterday.

Doublethink

Paradox, dichotomy, two ideas
opposite that wrangle to control story
seemingly impossible, yet they form a perfect whole.

Struggle bus, grappling meaning, doing the work;
“Miss, my brain’s going to explode!”
Turning point, light bulb goes on–young mind opens, just a bit.

Jordan S.

Julie, I taught this novel this year, so the second stanza is very relatable to me! I also love those last three lines, especially the “Miss, my brain’s going to explode!” It definitely sums up the experience of teaching this complex text to young minds!

Angie Braaten

Love those mind-blown moments. Great expression through the sijo!

Barb Edler

Julie, I love how you wrote your sijos about your classroom experiences this week. 1984 is definitely a paradox and I can clearly see those student minds exploding. Just a thought, but maybe you should have them write a sijo in response to a section or even their discussions. More grappling, I am sure would occur! Thank you so much for your clever sijos and I love the second one’s end so much…seeing that “young mind opens, just a bit.” Fantastic sijos! Thank you!

Maureen Y Ingram

“Miss, my brain’s going to explode!” – those are the words that tell you, as teacher, that you are doing right by your students. Such a great novel for them to wrestle with!

Mykkisu

Travel with me friends who seek all Europe has to share with you
Open up her secret vaults. Wonder at her magnificence.
Love hearth and home, but adventure. Her arms embrace history.

Wendy Everard

Beautiful sentiments! And I appreciate the tension between loving home and loving travel, history. <3

Barb Edler

Mykkisu, I love the opening line that draws me in and how you share the wonder of the traveling adventure. Your final four words are every reason to travel “Her arms embrace history”. Beautiful!

Maureen Y Ingram

Ode to wanderlust! Yes! “Open up her secret vaults.” – so much to learn and experience.

Megan K

Thank you for the inspiration, Barb! I’ve never heard of this poetic form before, so it was fun to play around and count this morning 🙂

Fog covers, like the blankets still nestling nephews sleeping
4 year old alarms stay snoozed, from sun stolen smiles and play
A brief break, taken to recharge. The day ahead will take too

Wendy Everard

Megan, loved the simile in your first line and the alliteration in the poem as a whole…and neat, thought-provoking phrases like “4 year old alarms stay snoozed” and “sun stolen smiles” — as well as your last image: “The day ahead will take too”

Barb Edler

Megan, I can see through your poem that you might have a work delay due to fog. Love so many of your images in this sijo. I especially love “from sun stolen smiles and play”. I can see those “nestling nephews sleeping” too. Such joy in this poem, tranquil and warm. Thank you!

Maureen Y Ingram

Sweet feeling in my heart when I read “nestling nephews” – adorable!

Denise Krebs

Megan, such special and beautiful images here. The fog cover like blankets, “from sun stolen smiles and play” and the break “taken to recharge” I love the last phrase, the way “the day ahead will take too” makes me think of the nephews and you taking fullness from the day as you live it.

Jennifer

Tennis Love

It’s almost the season where I frolic on the gray clay, holding court
Tennis is my summertime passion, my outdoor sport
I love it so deeply, but in this case “love” really means nothing

Barb Edler

Jennifer, wow, you’ve captured the twist and humor a sijo poem can offer. Love your word choice throughout the poem: “frolic,” “gray clay” “passion” are all striking, but the way you close has me smiling with glee. Yes, sometimes love does mean nothing. Delightful poem, thank you!

Megan K

I love your language! Your use of tennis terms applies so well to the meaning of your poem. Thank you for sharing!

Wendy Everard

Jennifer, great twist at the end — it made me laugh aloud…and then ponder it. Loved this!

Fran Haley

Jenifer, your lines flow perfectly and what fun is that playful twist at the last!

Fran Haley

Jennifer*. Typing seems a struggle today. P.S. Forgot to say I love this title, especially considering the unexpected last line.

Glenda Funk

Jennifer,
That last line is an epiphany, an argument for both how we volley the word “love” around in cavalier ways and how we should be more thoughtful in our devotion to sport. I admire those who play tennis. My problem w/ the sport is the ball refuses to connect w/ my racket.

Fran Haley

Barb – I have never tried to write sijo before. love that it offers more space and freedom than haiku. It is a unique but invigorating challenge. I enjoyed strolling through sijo online; so many poems made me smile, including these fabulous examples you shared. Your own poem is so full of emotion and movement, from the ashes of grief to seeing slivers of the sun – hope to cling to, even in the stumbling blindness of grief. The very title offers hope amidst the ashes: Mourning Departure. A tiny phoenix waits there to rise again… it is a poem of life. Thank you for this offering and invitation today!

For Micah-Girl, Age 17 Months

Here in this long-shrouded studio I waited for you
Now my fingers tremble, touching my paintbrush to your pure canvas
Until my world erupts with colors of your baby voice, singing

Barb Edler

Fran, oh my, what a gorgeous sijo! I love the sense of rebirth of the studio and the way your “fingers tremble”. You create such a lovely sense of anticipation and purity. I love the burst of light that “erupts with colors”. Then followed with “your baby voice, singing”. Absolutely wonderful. I can feel your maternal love through each word. Thank you, too, Fran for the thoughtful note…much appreciated!

Wendy Everard

Fran, this is so beautiful! This just hit my heart: “Now my fingers tremble, touching my paintbrush to your pure canvas”.

Glenda Funk

Fran,
Taking the sijo and wrapping it in metaphor has me feeling the granna love of a sweet baby. They really do embody an artist’s canvas, and even the crying eruptions are something I miss when away from my Ezra. BTW, if you don’t yet have Clint Smith’s new poetry collection Above Ground, you’re gonna want to fix that.

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

I will rise from our bed this cold spring morning
Rolling my body from his warmth toward cold stone floors,
That I may coffee into a poem, till my love wakes.

Angie Braaten

Sarah, the imagery is wonderful here. Also, I like that you are still grammaring ungrammatically with “coffee into a poem” 🙂

Kim Johnson

Sarah, I can feel the bare feet meeting the cold stone floors, the crisp air enveloping you, and hear the coffee dripping, pouring as you pour words onto the the page….poeming until your love wakes. Your lines today appeal to all 5 senses.

Fran Haley

“That I may coffee into a poem” – Sarah, that is a jewel of phrasing! I adore it.

Barb Edler

Sarah, ahhhhh, I love your sijo. I can feel the physical details of your poem so perfectly and the sharp contrast between cold and warmth. Your last four words add such a wonderful depth: “till my love wakes”. He’s a lucky man. I hope you read this one to him today!

Jennifer

Rolling my body from his warmth toward cold stone floors, Love that line! Love the juxtaposition of warmth and cold!

Wendy Everard

Sarah, loved the imagery in this and loved the “That I may coffee into a poem”. Feeling that today!

Susie Morice

Ahh, Sarah — this carries that slow, rather reluctant movement. And how perfect that it’s coffee that jolts the Sijo in line 3 (as is its job) and I think of you “coffee[ing] into a poem.” Love that wordplay. Coffee…maybe that’s what I need right now! 🙂 Thank you. Susie

brcrandall

I’m with the others,

That I may coffee into a poem

That is the truth most mornings (and I bourbon my way out each night)

Glenda Funk

Sarah,
I see three prompts embodied in this tightly crafted sijo: the sijo, of course; Kim’s coffee prompt; and Jennifer’s grammar flip prompt. I, too, must coffee every morning, but my love awakens first and brews my brew, which he never drinks. I am spoiled.

Denise Krebs

Oh, Sarah, you make this look effortless. I’m loving hearing your #verselove on Instagram too. “rolling my body from his warmth” precious! and “that I may coffee in a poem” is perfect! I read this to my husband today.

Katrina Morrison

Sarah, I love the magic of “that I May coffee into a poem.’

Margaret Simon

I am pulled in by your poem this morning, first with the mourning/ morning and by the blindness that comes after ceremony of ashes. Profound truth in a small poem. Just what I love. My father died in April last year. We planted his favorite tree, a sycamore, in his memory.

Sycamore
shines holy green
in new spring light

Elegant
praises blue sky
wide leaf smiling

Remember
this time last year
when green turned black.

Angie Braaten

Wow, Margaret, this poem is perfection. The “twist” in the last stanza expresses the emotion powerfully and the imagery of the sycamore you planted is simply beautiful. A beautiful tribute for him.

Kim Johnson

Margaret, that last word is the twist for me – – the world can be as vibrant as Christmas lights in December or flowers in springtime, but you nailed it – – it all turns black when we lose someone we love so dearly. What a beautiful thing to do – – planting the tree in his memory.

Barb Edler

Margaret, oh, I love the beautiful imagery of your poem. “in new spring light” and “wide leaf smiling” and “when green turned black” all add such a crisp image. The action of your poem flows effortlessly. Truly stunning poem. I’m so sorry for your loss. Those death dates can be incredibly difficult. Thank you for sharing your beautiful craft today.

Fran Haley

Ah, the hope and renewal and promise sing in your verse, Margaret. It is so fitting that he loved the sycamore and that a new one stands in the earth, and in this poem, for all the symbolism of eternity and divinity. Like love itself.

Wendy Everard

Margaret, I loved the structure of this, with the impact of each stanza’s beginning…and the sadness of the last stanza. Love that you planted the tree in his memory — what a beautiful, lasting tribute.

Ann Burg

This is beautiful, Margaret…what a lovely picture you paint — I had a favorite tree— the Brooklyn sycamore of my childhood and the first two stanzas capture it exactly…then the turn, the sadness, the green turned black. Just perfect…

Jennifer Guyor-Jowett

Barb, I meant to thank you for the inspiration today and for introducing me to a form I was not aware of! I love adding these options for students. And your poem! The contrast between the foggy grief of the land and the whispering slivers of sun is beautiful. I can envision us rising from that deep winter sleep as the sun draws us out. I need the sun more than ever.

Barb Edler

Thank you, Jennifer!

gayle sands

Barb—I realized, writing this, how much I like counting syllables! Must be the little bit of OCD lurking in my soul. If only that little bit wanted to straighten my office! Your poem, so lovely, so full of love and sorrow, actually prompted mine. Mine seemed to write itself this morning…

Goodbye Should Not Be This Easy

You lived in your mother’s shadow, casting little of your own.
Your passing gave little to grieve. You loved, but did not like me.
Your absence leaves no hole in me. And therein lies my sorrow.

Gayle Sands
4/6/23

Kim Johnson

Gayle, this speaks volumes, and with such imagery of metaphor in the shadows. I love what you’ve done here – the loss not of relationship that was, but relationship that could have been, grieved but not grieved. Your words could have only come straight from the heart and are so sincere.

Angie Braaten

A simple poem that speaks volumes. The last sentence is very powerful. Thank you for sharing, Gayle.

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Gayle, I find that my mind goes to a lot of places with this one as I imagine the intended “you” and “your mother” implying not the speaker’s mother but might be. There is mystery here for the reader, but no mystery about the impact on the speaker the paradox of a loss without grief.

Thank you,
Sarah

Barb Edler

Gayle, wow, your poem absolutely breaks my heart. Your title is precise, and you move us to that final moment of where your sorrow truly lies so effortlessly. I am left feeling breathless, that hole, that sorrow, the grief, that shadow! Tremendous poem. Thank you!

Fran Haley

Gayle, this is stunning, with the twist being what actually causes the sorrow. What should be is not always what is. There are deaths before death…leaving little to grieve when the time comes. Your lines resonate so deeply with me; they are so true, and so beautifully redemptive.

Wendy Everard

Gayle, this was so touching and heartbreaking and stirred my heart. Relatable.

Susie Morice

Gayle — Ooo, the “absence” carries that 3rd line shift in solid Sijo form. But way beyond the Sijo stuff, this is a heck of a poem. The woman living “in your mother’s shadow” right away pulls us in…seeing someone let herself be muted. The hardest thing is the “loved, but did not like” wallop. I had a somewhat similar analysis at the passing of my father. It took time and distance from even thinking about his absence before I knew what to do with the sorrow that does exist. A very provocative poem. It truly moved me. Thank you. Susie

Susie Morice

Barb – Your poem, oh my gosh, it just shredded me. Even the “sun slivers” aren’t enough to take away the “numb[ing]” grief. They get sadness cuts sooo deep here. This morning you need a hug that won’t let go. Love you, dear friend. Your poem breathes sorrow. My heart feels that through the indelible images. Hugs, Susie

Barb Edler

Susie, hugs right back to you. Thanks for such for your warm and loving note!

Kim Johnson

Barb, you bring one of the short forms that I most enjoy writing today! Thank you for hosting us and investing in us as writers. I tried to get to 44 syllables, but I’m not there yet. I’m going to keep working on this form because I love the form and structure. The internal rhyme in your last line I could read over and over with the long i, short u and short i sounds that are blended in such a way that the u sounds sound like the crying of grief and make so much sense too – the blind stumbling after tremendous loss. This is really deep and moving today in your verse. I’ve thought and said it many times – you are a master of internal rhyme. Beautiful!

Priorities

what will we remember most about you
five years from now?

your absence from the moments, the pictures, the memories

your priorities

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

Oh, how I feel this, Kim! As I contemplate the direction I want to be headed in the next day, month, year. Your twist lands perfectly.

Kevin Hodgson

This is perfect … just the right flow and feeling, Kim

Angie Braaten

Kim, I feel the sorrow in someone’s absence being what is remembered about them. I love the first line as a question.

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Kim,

The last line here can cut or assuage. I am reading it both ways. I see the priorities as maybe being to provide or love even in absence (work?) or priorities sarcastically, implying that the priorities were not worth missing so many moments. Maybe the second. I am trying to check my bias because I am feeling the 2nd interpretation.

Peace,
Sarah

Barb Edler

Kim, I love your opening question and then the “your priorities” at the end is such a punch. Umphhh! I feel this, and the absence. Your second line adds that special depth of your topic. Sending warm hugs to you today, Barb.

Fran Haley

Kim, I find it fascinating (again! again!) that I, too, struggled with the syllable count, and yet we both love syllable-counting. No one holds a candle to you with haiku! Once more, you take a shimmering silken thread of an idea and begin to weave a whole journey of thought from a unique perspective. This whole idea of priorities mattering so much more after someone so loved is lost. The coming of a time when the ache of absence is only soothed by the adoption of those priorities, which become an invaluable legacy, a rich bequeathment for living life fully and well. And loving fully and well. Therein lies the active presence and essence of the one absent in the moments, the pictures, the memories…she is still near, dear friend. Still so near. She’s what’s pulling. <3

Maureen Y Ingram

Such an important contemplation, I think – what will others remember about us? That second line hit hard; it is so sad, “your absence from the moments, the pictures, the memories.” Poignant poem.

Glenda Funk

Kim,
I concur with your assessment of Barb’s sijo and her gift of internal rhyme. Like you, I’m challenged by the sijo form. What I like most in your poem is the ambiguity. I’m inserting numerous topics into the question you pose. Of course, my mind goes to Orangey. Forgive me, but…

gayle sands

What a wonderful question…what a beautiful answer…

Denise Krebs

Wow, Kim, what a powerful question you ask and the answer choices are stinging. I’m glad you are going to come back to it. I tried my first sijo today, and I’m going to keep trying too. I feel like it could be a really fun form to add to my tool box.

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

April Sijo

After rain, the first daffodil blossoms into light  
Petals singing sun-notes, lifting lucent voices  
Arising, I unMarch the day, composing my own song 

Kevin Hodgson

unMarch the day … lovely
Kevin

Susie Morice

Jennifer – Yes, “I unMarch the day”… wonderful! I want to steal that! Love this Sijo! Susie

Susie Morice

Jennifer – Yes, “I unMarch the day”… wonderful! I want to steal that! Love this Sijo!

Kim Johnson

Jennifer, petals singing sun-notes brings such a smile to the face and warmth to the heart. We had our first daffodils pop up in February here in middle Georgia, and when I saw them I pulled over and took pictures of them there on the hillside under the wooden fence. There is something about daffodils that sings the promise of spring, and something about your poem that paints the picture of that something that we feel! I can hear them singing.

Megan K

I love your language of “unMarch.” There is a sense of moving on in that. It fits perfectly with April, a season of change!

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Jennifer,

I see what you did there ungrammaticalizing March to a verb. I did the same in my poem today. So cool how a poetic move one day finds its way into another.

Love the image of “daffodil blossoms into light.”!

Peace,
Sarah

Barb Edler

Jennifer, the musicality of your poem is delightful. This is exactly what a sijo offers through its syllabication. I love the action of your poem “singing sun-notes” and “unMarch”. What beauty and lovely twist at the end. Perfect!

Glenda Funk

Jennifer,
I am all for “unMarch the day.” Make it so! That’s my prayer. I want to see those “petals singing sun notes” in my yard, but all I see is snow choking spring until it gasps “uncle.” I’m living spring in your words today.

gayle sands

Lifting lucent voices. UnMarch the day. Wow.

Leilya

Jennifer, love your silo! So few words—so much meaning! As the others noted, my favorites are: “Petals singing sun-notes, lifting lucent voices” and “unMarch the day.” Just beautiful! Thank you for sharing 😊

Denise Krebs

Jennifer, so much beauty here! It is your sweet song of spring. “daffodil blossoms into light” wow! “singing sun-notes” another wow! And of course, “unMarch” the day is magical.

Kevin Hodgson

Lots of counting here but I like the form …

A young bud just arriving after winter
a flourish of coloring from the stretching,
but now bent from playfulness; we nurture it anyway

Kevin

Jennifer Guyor Jowett

The image of stretching to provide the color flourish is beautiful.

Kevin Hodgson

“flourish” was this morning’s One-Word-Prompt off Mastodon so I tried to use that as my starting to point here, and wove words around it.

Kim Johnson

Kevin, I’ve read this a few times and consider a different angle each time. This is what I love so much about great poetry – – I land on bud as a literal bud on a tree or shrub, but then when you add young, this could be a young boy playing spring baseball in a bright jersey- – a butterfly emerging from a cocoon to play in a butterfly garden,…… and I love thinking of all the possibilities here for this young bud.

Megan K

I love how in such few words, you paint an image of a flower blooming, of its process. It does seem playful as spring carries on! Don’t we all though 🙂

Sarah J. Donovan, PhD (s/her)

Oh, I like that “flourish of coloring from the stretching”. I read this as the literal bud but also something new coming into being or a welcoming crew to a newbie — “we nurture it anyway.”

Peace,
Sarah

Barb Edler

Kevin, I agree about the counting. I have about ten to fifteen drafts often for one sijo. I really enjoy the language you use in your poem from the bud to playfulness, but the last part “we nurture it anyway” is powerful.

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