Inspiration: Today you’re encouraged to play “connect the words.” What this means is that you will see a list of words, and you must string them together to create a narrative poem (tell a story).
- cry, grip, red, box, cord
- wonder, silver, border, track, glimpse, web
- float, song, frame, balloon, calm, coral
- chair, shadow, dial, repair, candle, cup, yellow
- path, marking, window, light, sky, white
- fear, snow, gray, sky, glow, footprints, run
- courage, frame, sharp, cold, metallic, wire, cerulean blue
- rise, stage, cries, thunder, stone, path, purple
- water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
- book, scratch, far, wonder, wooden, end
Guidance: For example, if you choose #5, you’ll create a way for path, marking, window, sky, light, and white to come together in your poem. This is a creative exercise and is meant to be fun and a little challenging. You may discover a beautiful story emerges or some sense out of nonsense. Enjoy. Of course, you are welcome to poem in any way you choose. Play with the line breaks and consider repetition of a line, words, or phrases.
cry, grip, red, box, cord
Wanting to cry
But I have to hold that grip
Seeing dots of red almost beginning to pass out
Looking at the box with the timer
21 seconds to go
Keep holding on
Looking at the cord connected to the box
*buzzer* *whistle*
He raises my hand
All that work paid off
#1. gripping the life he enjoyed so much the colors red being his favorite the box shaped house he lived in but it was slowly being taken away over just one cord.
I turned and tossed
around in my bed.
I decided to go down to the pool
and try to sort my thoughts.
I couldn’t go to sleep
because tomorrow was going to be the last normal
day
of
my
life
because my sister was leaving for college.
It was very late and I couldn’t get caught leaving.
I reach down to the bar and tiptoed downstairs.
I saw the crystal clear blue water of the pool and it was
just perfect.
There was some moonlight that had reflected on the water.
I dipped my toes in and saw a fragile rippling effect go across
the water.
It disturbed the peace on the water but it was satisfying.
I sighed and just waited for what was soon to be awaiting me.
i like how you used figurative language with ” crystal clear” and ” disturbed the peace on the water.” good job
I like how descriptive you were and I can also relate to the part “because tomorrow was going to be the last normal day of my life because my sister was leaving” because l also have an older sister who moved out and it was very different after she left.
Poem 3: Connect the words
#1
I cry the feeling that I should just die
I grip the letters as the cool wind hits my face
I look down at my swollen red hands
I always box up my emotions by listening to my music
So I connect the cord to my iPod and breathe…
I like the use of “I connect the cord of my IPod and breathe,” because it’s like connecting your life line in or your breathing tank like you need it to stay alive.
Your words when you said ” i connected the cord to my iPod and breathe” really moved me because it’s like that’s the only place you can escape from reality.
I’m just realizing now that my past two poems didn’t load… sorry!
#5 path, marking, window, light, sky, white
Footsteps
Footsteps
Each one
Inching you closer
to your inescapable fate
marking your place in the world
Footsteps
The opposite
Of walking on the sky
Opening that window
Doing the impossible
Because it’s always easier
To give in
To the darkness
Footsteps
Carry you
Everywhere
Everyday
You squash dozens of ants
Snap hundreds of twigs
And dampen thousands of miles
Of white, fluffy snow
But if you don’t trample
What’s in your way
You won’t get anywhere
Wait, never mind. I found it after all, but now I can’t delete this one. 🙂
The water gleams and glistens
In the summer’s sun.
So still that you would think
It were asleep.
From the sky flies in a swan,
So graceful and elegant,
Yet so fragile.
She lands on the water’s blue surface,
She swims around the pond
As if it were her throne and she were queen
Then she departs and flies elsewhere.
Bang!
The shot of a shotgun pierces my ears
I reach out to the her majesty,
But it’s too late.
Her limp body falls to the ground.
She was so graceful and elegant,
Yet so fragile.
Snow falling on the ground
Fresh from the night before
Footprints are going to be all around
I got outside to see more
“Run”I tell myself
Run!
Feel the wind from the gray sky that you have found
I feel a glow in me, this will not be a bore
love
a 4 letter word.
make you, break you,hurt you.
don’t pray for love.
pray for strength.
This is true. I agree with it. We should all pray for strength instead of praying for love.
i like how you gave your perspective on love.. then when you said “break you, hurt you” is very powerful and it’s good.
path, marking, window, light, sky, white
The white light coming from the sky is shining through the window marking a path on the ground
things go together
like peanut butter and jelly
other things don’t like 2 opposites that do not attract
the same side of a magnet
or oil and water that do not mix
people can be like that to
just do not get along
Books
open all over the floor.
All of the furniture is askew,
leaving scratches on the walls
from their movement.
In the corner,
a girl reads a book
taking her to a far off place.
It made her wonder and think.
Her wooden chair moved
at every chuckle
and cry.
She flips through all the pages
until the end.
Here’s another. This one’s short and happy at least.
#3
Float down the river
and enjoy my song.
It is of the frame
of the sea.
A balloon flies up
above me,
and the calm coral
of the sea.
I liked this one so much, I wrote more.
#1
Cry.
There is nothing else to do.
The grip of death still
hangs in the air,
The red blood is painted
on the room.
As there,
under the fan,
stands a box
under a cord.
Sorry, this one’s a little dark but it just came to me with that string of words.
Very well written! I could practically feel the melancholic mood as I read the poem.
#9
Water cascades down the mountain,
the precipice climbing into the sky
to a far off place.
I stare up imagining how far it goes,
before I rest and go to
sleep for the night.
I wake and see my fingers are blue,
fragile from the
cold air.
I drink from the waterfall,
before I go off to
save my sister.
I see her after hours of walking,
to see her wounded
gushing blood.
I run faster towards her,
and I reach out but
it is too late.
I read all your poems and they are really good
The wind blows and the gray sky overhead is gloomy
As I walk home snow begins to fall all around
I wonder if I will make it home in time and fear creeps up.
The footprints start to form as I walk faster
Soon I start to run and when I finally make it home my cheeks being to glow.
I wonder what I would do with a million dollars.
I could make a bathroom out of gold, or a throne out of silver.
I could give money to people who need it more than I,
Until people try to get break down my border, and ask over and over.
Many people follow the same track; I’ll buy food, I’ll get a mansion, I’ll invest it for even more money.
I could get a glimpse at space, I could build a robot.
But I’ll probably just spend it all on the web.
When you were around I felt happy
now thinking of you makes me sappy.
I wish you were here so I’d cry less and less
this lost is putting my mind in distress.
I’ll never forget the day you left this great world
and how our lives drastically twirled.
I will never forget the stories you told
only you taught me to be bold.
Oh I miss the games we used to play
I miss you more and more everyday.
I will always remember what you taught
but mostly I miss the laughter you brought.
As I step into the dark woods, my fear turns on.
Like an automatic switch that knows its trigger.
The snow lapses my limbs into violent shivers.
The gray surrounds me and becomes part of me.
The sky knows my current state
And is also gripped by the gray fear.
The fear controls my every step
And I move forward- hesitantly forward.
The footprints begin to emerge on my right.
They speed up and keep my pace.
Pat.
Pat.
Pat.
In the snow.
The fear turns up its volume inside my head.
The gray consumes me.
I run.
I run.
I don’t stop.
The footprints are left behind me in a whir of flurried fear.
I emerge from the dark woods.
The snow glows on top of each branch.
I touch it.
It falls to the ground with the gray fear that once so tightly bound my actions.
The footprints I left behind will never haunt me again.
Crying and gripping
On to nothing
You ever had before
The red box sitting in your room
Now has a cord inside
It connects to the outlet beside the wall
Before you lights show for all
The wind strikes my face with a gentle touch of fear
Following the problems in my life
Remembering how I got stuck in the snow
Looking up as the sky slowly turned into a threatening gray
Staring into the sky
Wondering where are you now
Why did you suddenly notice that I was in trouble
Seeing you glow
You stare at my footprints that brought me into this mess
You don’t even noticed I’m trapped
Trapped in a world
A different world
All you told me to do was run
I didn’t understand you
But I still tried to run, for you and only you
3. float, song, frame, balloon, calm, coral
song is calm
balloon are floating
swimming with the coral peacefully
frame every memories you have
so they won’t be lost.
good one dude
I wish I could rewind the shadow of my grandma in my dreams.
my grandma telling me what is for dinner.
my grandmas shadows of her footsteps.
Your shadow reminding me what we could have done.
Your shadow moving as fast as light
#9
Sorry, it’s not very good…
I reach for the water
So blue
So deep
The world so quiet
Almost asleep
A single flower
Sitting on the lake
It looks so fragile
I am awake
I reach for it
But I am too late
But it will come back
And there I’ll wait
OMG THAT IS SOOOO GOODDD
#9
Blue
The water comes rushing down my cheeks
My heart fragile
Easy to break
He tried to take it
And I let him
I believed
Until he broke it
I would reach
trying to collect all the pieces
But I was too late
Now as he walks away with a new heart
I fall into eternal sleep
fear, snow, gray, sky, glow, footprints, run
I had fear of snow
They gray sky was boring
I wish it would glow
Every Time i ran there would be footprints in the snow
?
#6 I fear the boy next door. His big hands. His awful glow. That smirk that a can’t forget. I can’t think of the past. I saw his footprints as I was walking. He was nowhere to be seen. The snow, white like a thin sheet of printer paper. Then I see him. Standing in my way. I look up at the dark grey sky before I run. I run and run until I can’t anymore. All of a sudden, darkness, is all I can see…
?
I had fearfear for the snow coming in the gray sky was scary, but the glow of the footprints were amazing as I went for a run
Follow the path of the light look through the window, the sky white. You see the marking of where you should be
#6
Great fear
in the dark gray sky,
glowing snow,
dark footprints when I run.
I cried when the red cord lot its grip and got put in a bo
my courage comes from my heart
a frame holds the courage
it is sharp as a sword in the cold cerulean blue mountains
protected by the metallic wire
when fighting against your enemy
#9 water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
Water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late.
The blue water is fragile when you reach for it you sleep but you are to late.
cry, grip, red, box, cord
I started to cry when I had a grip on the red hot cord connected to the box.
#6
The sky is gray.
There are footprints marked in the snow.
I follow them.
There is a man with a glowing light.
I panic with fear.
Run.
You should add on to this story
#2
I wonder if the silver border of the train track is used so we can’t glimpse into the web of underground tunnels that lay beyond.
The season is getting late
The cold muddy water is starts to dry
I get no sleep
The skies aren’t even blue anymore
That chevy is way too fragile
I wonder if it will even reach the line
As the moon finds its way into the sky late into the night,
I can’t help but reach for the stars above,
But as I lay on the beach
I start to feel the fragile blue water,
I can’t help but lay and shut my eyes,
And start to fall asleep,
For it is late into the night.
(#9)
I sleep and
have lately been dreaming,
of dipping into the blue.
The fragile water
Wraps around my throat,
Reaching for my lungs.
The last of my oxygen;
Releases as the hourglass drains,
It’s last grain of sand.
I work my way up those stone stairs,
the path fading away,
the light of purple leds blinds me,
I think I hear thunder,
but as I walk on stage,
the crowd cries.
I sleep late,
and reach into my dreams,
the deep blue water
begins to flow into reality
and I find myself
failing to wake up.
I used #9
9. Water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
Water flows
Just like my dreams when I have fallen into a deep slumber
Sleep is like a blue
Fragile vase
That a child can not reach as it falls to the ground
Shattering to pieces
Late at night
#9 water,sleep,blue,fragile,reach,late
Eleven o clock was always the time you’d find her out by the water
She’d sneak out of the house through her window and out to the creek
her parents would always think that she was in a deep sleep
She was always so mesmerized by the clear blue body of water even if it was just a small and meaningless creek to others
The water always made her feel like she wasn’t so weak or fragile
As if she had a meaning in the big ocean that is life
she often hoped that one day she’d travel an ocean and reach the country across from it
If the water made her feel like she matered what difference would it make if it got a little late out.
She sits in her room and cries.
Wondering why he broke up with her.
Crying
And
Thinking.
Once she remembers the red box he gave her a week ago,
She runs to the box, and held it with a tight grip.
As she slowly opens it,
She sees it’s just a cord.
Wow
Just a cord for our anniversary.
And then she remembers,
How they always took pictures on that camera,
But then it died and she lost the charger.
Running to the outlet
She finally turns it on and looks through the pictures,
As her phone buzzes while a smile creeps on her face.
I walked down the stone path towards the stage where I would see the sun rise. Just as the purple light began to shine through the clouds the thunder shook the valley and the sky began to cry.
“Hey get up, you can’t sleep forever” yelled my mother. I jus realized I forgot to set my alarm for school and I was gonna be late! I had the big presentation for history class today and the worse thing to do in Mrs. happy’s class is to be late ( I know, what a misleading name) So I skipped breakfast this morning which is bad for me because I have a very fragile appetite and if I skip a meal I never feel so good, but still I ran off to school. I have Mrs. Happy first period but I don’t know when I have to go. So I get to my seat and keep saying my speech which is actually Abraham lincoln’s speech a Gettysburg but it was hard to focus because the anticipation is killing me. I blanked out and when I woke up it was my time to say my speech. I walked up, and I looked at all the posters on the wall for motivation and I saw one with some nice blue ocean water that said you can do it, so I reached up and said “Four score and seven years ago” The I stopped speaking knew it wasn’t a good I idea to skip breakfast cause I passed out and woke up in the hospital. But at least I didn’t have to say my speech aloud.
Crying
The way tears roll down your cheek
It burns your face and leaves behind red, blotchy stains
You feel like everything is falling apart
You can’t catch your breath
You want to crawl up into a ball and leave the world
Your mouth is trembling uncontrollably
You feel your tears roll of your chin, landing on a surface below you
You feel the empty sensation inside of you start to leave
The last tear escapes your eye
You wipe it away
You blow your nose
You regain your confidence
And you step out into the world to continue your life
Crying
Your poem was very sentimental and made me relate a lot to my life.2 lines that I was able to take away from this was where you said,” You feel the empty sensation inside of you start to leave” and ”You regain your confidence
And you step out into the world to continue your life ” Those are some clever and wise words.
chair, shadow, dial, repair, candle, cup, yellow
I’m sitting in a chair
With a lit up candle in the dark room
I can see my shadow
Wishing I could repair my passed
The dial, the clock ticking
Everything going by so quickly
As a cup shatters to the floor and the yellow candle fires dies.
#8
The sun will no longer rise,
as he falls into his demise,
His heart was once pure gold,
Filled with love and had the voice of thunder,
But now all you can hear is his mournful cries,
as his heart turned to stone,
Intoxicated with purple poison,
he’s now frozen,
He leaves the stage,
to hide in his cage,
The light has gone out.
#6
Fear, Snow, Gray, Sky, Glow, Footprints , Run
I fear getting lost.
Snow is around me.
Thy gray sky gets me nervous.
A light glows for a far place.
footprints is all around me.
All i had to do is run.
I can relate to “I fear getting lost” because sometimes I think Ima get lost.
#8
I’m on the stage
Waiting for the curtain to rise
My partner cries because she was scared and nervous
i could hear the thunder, that was my cue to start
My purple dress shinned bright with the light
I followed the path and started to say my lines
As I went to the stone house and went inside
water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
I reached for the water. It was late in the night and I was about to sleep. I then dropped the fragile blue cup and it shattered.
fear, snow, gray, sky, glow, footprints, run
I fear getting swept up in the storm
The cold snow smacking me across the face
The grey clouds raging on
the sun glows from a small gap
i look back and my footprints have faded
i run and i run until i drop
It takes courage to paint your first painting,
The frame looks blank and empty,
The corners sharp,
The paint palette cold,
Oil tubes metallic,
The wire feeling of the brushes,
Cerulean blue paint dances across the canvas
#7
I noticed you used the technique of personification in the phrase “blue paint dances across the canvas;” it’s effective because I could imagine the brush painting on the canvas.
All I see is blue
I’m having a dream
I see something fragile
Try to reach it but to late
#1
I wanna cry but i cant
Im losing my grip
All i see is red everywhere
I feel like im trapped in a box
And wrapped in a cord
I get made fun of and the cord get tighter
I dont know how to loosen it up
Mrs.S., Ian O., Ashley E., Erik G. #3
Oh the lovely balloon floating in the ocean blue sky
Helium slowly drains away- fading, fading against the changing coral sky
Every balloon that’s ever been released winds up on the boulevard of broken dreams
Every person searching for that calming floating feeling that frames our inner self
Water.
Waves.
Gentle.
Rough.
Just like life.
Water being everything.
Waves being the problems.
At anytime they can be gentle and easy to solve.
But, then they can turn rough and not be so easy to solve.
Wrote 4/4/17
9. water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late:
Warmth of My Mind
As I dip my toes into the warm,
ocean water
All my thoughts seem to drift
into nowhere, as if I am going
to sleep.
I am relaxed as I gaze into the
cloudless, blue sky.
Any fragile moments in my
recent past have disappeared
to some other place down
deep.
I can reach inside some other
day to find those thoughts that
I want to hide.
But for now, before it is too
late…
I will cherish these new
moments of warmth and the
relaxation of the water
Because I prefer the warmth;
the cool darkness inside can
wait.
#5 path, marking, window, light, sky, white
Footsteps
Footsteps
Each one
Inching you closer
to your inescapable fate
marking your place in the world
Footsteps
The opposite
Of walking on the sky
Opening that window
Doing the impossible
Because it’s always easier
To give in
To the darkness
Footsteps
Carry you
Everywhere
Everyday
You squash dozens of ants
Snap hundreds of twigs
And dampen thousands of miles
Of white, fluffy snow
But if you don’t trample
What’s in your way
You won’t get anywhere
Wow, good job on your poem! I like your twist on the prompt, that was creative. I love the last part when it says you cant get anything you want without force or effort, even if it sounded a bit harsh.
3. float, song, frame, balloon, calm, coral
The calm water.
The bright coral.
Floating on the boat.
Shivering as if the water were a great wide monster.
Picturing the frame of the boat collapsing.
Falling, sinking into the deep unknown.
Wish that they went on the hot-air-balloon ride instead.
Until they heard the song of the sea.
Embraced by the sounds, the fear suddenly seemed to.
Disappear.
I sit and watch in fear,
as the snow falls,
and the gray clouds,
cover the sky,
With no glow as far as the eye can see,
I follow the footprints,
and when thunder sounds I run.
#10-
A girl enters a library,
Wanders around many rows of wooden bookshelves,
As she scratches her head,
Wondering what book(s) to start reading,
A librarian has entered the room,
Helping the girl find a book to read,
Once a book was found,
The girl is anxious to keep reading,
Wondering how far she’ll have to read before the book has come to a wonderful end.
#4: There he was, sitting in the old, black chair, almost invisible in the dark shadow of the broken shelf, dial the repair man’s number, they said, but the man could not, for he was stuck, in a trance, staring at the shelf, it must be cold over there, they said, one even offered to light a candle for him, the next day the very same person came with a cup that had a glint of yellow coming out of it, the candle rested by the old man’s feet where he could stare at the wreckage of the old shelf that was the only reminder of his mother who brought that shelf with her from Poland in World War 2, unaware of the troubles it would face in the future, unaware that not even a family treasure can withstand a fire.
#8
The water is starting to rise
The thunder thuds
The wind cries
Walking along the path
Across the purple stage
Stands a beautiful horizon
That stretches for miles
In my hand
the delicate pages sway,
as the book
sets me free
into the wondrous world.
Scribbled and scratched
carefully,
these words
create an escape
that I use every day.
The beauty
of the words
knit together tightly,
sends me far from my house
to my home.
Even though
my eyes are open,
They’re closed
as I feel the gentle mountain breeze.
Or hear the curious birds chirp.
Or taste the arrogant salt of the ocean.
And for a moment,
the two of us
are at peace.
The book.
And me.
But then
I’m torn from
imagination
to a simple reality
as the words end for good.
The snow covered mountains are gone.
And the thick, homey forest.
And the misty beach.
As I find myself
back to life.
But tomorrow,
I’ll discover a new
adventure.
Across a wooden rope bridge.
Or through a rocky cave.
And I’ll return home.
I like the use of the word “scratched.” I usually wouldn’t use that.
The fragile but clear blue water
makes you reach for the water
as the sun tells you it’s getting late
“time for bed “says the mother hen
but know one wants to sleep
the cultivating water never can come to an
End
Love the personification “the sun tells you it’s getting late” because I often think of the sun as a parent.
her hair waves as the water her blue dress with her fragile hand reached out to the late bloomed flower but as she woke up from her sleep she knew everything was a dream and nothing had really happen
Why did this have to happen under the most perfect cerulean sky?
I can feel my time frame dwindling.
As what courage I still have and the little energy I still have runs out in quick succession, I hear my Them gaining.
In seconds, They have me up, and the sharp bite of the wire is like fire is set to my face.
After They have finished what They have done, they disappear into thin air
I’m so cold.
The pain has left my face, replaced by the metallic scent that I can identify too easily
Then all things end in a flash of soft light
Under this perfect
#5. path, marking, window, light, sky, white
The Path of Life
Our life is a journey.
A path to our purpose.
Inside this path are stones,
Markings of moments we come across.
Look up at the white clouds in the sky,
Our past jumbled together.
Or peek out the window of what’s to come,
The future, that awaits.
But I would stay focused in the light,
Of what’s happening this moment,
Not what’s above us or what might happen
The present
Of
Now.
And don’t be afraid to continue the path.
Or retrospectively remember the things that have
Happened.
But capture the things that matter.
To create the purpose of living.
I stay on the path.
I know I am lost.
The sky is white.
A marking in the rock.
I see a light.
The window!
I liked how you used descriptiveness when you said “the sky is white”
The sky is gray.
I smell snow.
I see footprints.
They start to glow.
My biggest fear.
Run!!
I follow the crisp, gray path through the row of moldy houses
The marking over the door shows that this is her home
I open the door to light flooding in from a window
The call comes from the Kitchen and I walk towards it
I stop at the window I noticed before
They sky is getting gray
I touch the white sill though it is moldy
(Another poem made by the cringy poem-er)
Run
Run like you fear the freshly fallen snow
Run like your footprints will glow so bright
That they will illuminate the night
Into a dark grey sky
Run
I think the heart of this poem is “Run like you fear freshly fallen snow” because it starts out the whole theme to the poem about running and from what.
They pave paradise and put up a parking lot, with a pink hotel, a boutique and a swinging hot spot- Janis Joplin
I remember when the days were sunny
And the sky would scream with brilliant shades of blue.
I remember the rainy days when
All the children from our small town would
Sail paper boats in the puddles of running water
By the gutter.
I remember flying my kite by the
Park and gazing up at those
Beautiful colors dancing in the wind.
I remember climbing those wise oak
Trees and stretching my arm out
as high as I could, determined
To reach the top
I watched this neighborhood
Turn into a big city. Yet the more crowded
It got the more lonely I felt.
And that strong young girl
Who sailed boats and flew kites in
The wind is an old lady now.
Now those wise oak trees have been
Cut down
and a shopping mall stands in its place.
The park where she flew her kite
Is run down and has been hidden by
A fence with a no trespassing sign.
Now everyone keeps to themselves
And the children of this town don’t play
Together in the streets like they used too.
Now the air is grey and polluted with oil from
The factories they built.
And my fragile home is crumbling down
And with that all the memories I have
Obtained while living here.
Late and night when the town is asleep,
I look out of my window and look up
At where the blue sky used to be
And I dream about sailing my paper
Boat and flying my kite.
Amazing blue skies
clouds filled with raindrops and bright light.
birds fly from within
trees reach the high bright blue skies
kites of many colors rise up.
#10. book, scratch, far, wonder, wooden, end
Nails
line the streets
collecting in gutters,
clinking against manhole covers
Nails
shiny and new
rusted and old
points that scratch and points dull
Nails
they drip out of the sky
falling as though gravity has lost its control
joining their brothers’ steady flow
Nails
they move aside for my feet
bowing to their lonely Queen
I walk alone, empty wind the only thing seen
Nails
broken and cracked
crushed and banged and tossed
melted until their shape is lost
Nails
filling every space
I wonder why it is that I always end up here
where shadows loom on their thrones of fear
Nails
clink in my hair
whispering their stories,
wooden boxes and bodies
Nails
make a path
slipping into corners
making way for the shadows
Nails
see him approach
cloaked in darkness
eyes starless
Nails
watch their Queen
as shadows watch their King
and far away, the sun rises on the light they bring
continued:
Nails
closing the door
a book only one can touch
a story hidden in the dark’s clutch
#7
Cerulean blue earring dangles
from your left lobe
Metallic hoop curves through
your right you
exist in perfect misalignment
Once a wiry frame with sharp
edges clenching cold
You birthed the courage
to unstraighten.
Avra I like how you start the poem off with something calm, I think it makes the poem sound more focused.
water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
#9
Water so deep and blue
Fragile like a sleeping infant
Still and quiet like an undisturbed marsh
Traquility and calm just within reach
Only for a hurricane to sweep it away
For it is too late
The storm always comes
I like the metaphor you used, “fragile like a sleeping infant”
#8
purple
I walk on the path and sit on the stone,
It starts raining and thunder starts to begin,
I hear cries but the rain it just rise,
I Go back inside and sit on the stage,With my soaked purple socks
#6
people fear,
on a snow day,
it all looks like glow,
except the sky,
it’s all gray,
while some people are in side chilling,
kids run around leaving footsteps.
#6
I see the people in fear
While snow falls down from the gray sky
People running for their lives
praying the bad things will end
I see the footprints glowing like it was something special
I see all of the different trails people went so they can stay alive
I like how you used the words that were giving to you and hoe you put them in to a story. My favorite line was “People running for their lives”
i like how descriptive you were when you mentioned how people felt.
Courage
The feeling I lack most.
Tests,quizzes,homework
surround me
in a cloud of despair.
courage
the feeling I lack most
I liked the metaphor you used, “in a cloud of despair”.
#9
The deep blue water,
looks so fragile,
late in the night,,
it reaches and captures,
the moon’s light,
the sleeping sound,
of nature’s creatures,
calms the surroundings
Hey Uma. I like how you used the feeling of thing like when you said “the deep blue water looks so fragile”. You did a good job.
Hey Uma, when you wrote, “The deep blue water, looks so fragile, late in the night”, I actually felt quite calm because the image of lake or an ocean in the night is so still and calming and it reminds me of meditating, for some reason
water, sleep, blue, fragile, reach, late
Drops of water fall
Drip
Drip
D
r
i
p
as a silent night hangs overhead.
quiet after the storm.
The only way for sleep to pass over the city.
No children screaming for their mothers
No loud honking of car horns
Just a silent night.
The time of blue haze.
The fragile moonflowers
open to the sunlight.
Like dancers,
reaching for the stars, the sky.
Only to fall.
When they realize
that the moonlight
has sunk into the abyss.
Waiting for the late night
to come.
GG. But why the
D
r
i
p
and the repeating drip?
its to add effect.
#8.On the purple stone path that leads to the dark earie stairs,
In the thunder and rain the girl cries and stares,
the path like a stage showing her weep, her feelings rise
making her weak, she was strong before, but is now wearing down,
she cries in the dark, and hears all around.
I enjoy what words you used, it brings out the feelings of the poem
#4
Crooked, old, rickety chair.
The one my grandma used to sit in when she read out of that red storybook.
Dust.
Now there’s just dust.
A shadow of her.
In my dream.
It’s the only memory I have.
Sometimes I wish I could just dial her number on the phone,
and she would return.
I would at least have a conversation with her.
But the phone is too old anyway.
I will repair the ripped red book.
The book that sat in the rickety old chair.
I want another memory of her.
I look at the candle on the wooden table across the room.
My grandma got it years ago.
It’s mostly melted wax now.
My eyes shift to the fragile cup next to it.
A lipstick stain has tainted the lid.
The familiar tea bag is still hanging out.
The door to the old house is closed.
The flowers on the window are wilted without their yellow sun.
Gone.
I really liked the way, you added extra details, such as rickety, and crooked to describe a chair. I also liked how you added a story behind the poem, to make it more realistic. Great job!
#6 fear, snow, gray, sky, glow, footprints, run:
Fear
A monster is coming.
It is our own inner demon.
Fear.
He turns the sky gray
And lets the cold snow fall.
Fear.
Any glow or ray of sunshine
Is snuffed out by him.
Fear.
He leaves no footprints.
There is nowhere to run.
Fear.
He searches and searches
Until he finds a place to hide.
Fear.
He hides in us
And grows stronger with every nightmare.
Fear.
There is only one way to defeat him
And that is through love.
Fear.
Abby I love how you make the poem sound more intense and scary by repeating the word ¨fear¨ over and over again and by leaving the identity of the monster a mystery.
I like how your poem is structured, it gives a more intense feel to it
Hi Abby! I really like how you said the word “fear” throughout the poem to add a dark kind of mood. I also like how you added a lesson at the end by saying “There is only one way to defeat him and that is through love.” Great job on the poem!
Hi Abby I like how you Explain if you fear something it keeps getting stronger you just have get over it
#1
As she cried in the middle of the street
while it was dark and raining
she walked to the big red box,
that contains bunch of wires for the entire city lights on the street,
as she got closer and closer she started to shake
and eventually she opened the door
after picking the lock
and took a strong grip of the cords
and started to pull them out
She didn’t want to but she had to, it was a dare.
As she walked back to her friends laughing she
felt scared that she would be in trouble.
As the technicians came instantly
they grabbed the girl
and took her home.
Now she knows to never do something
that her gut tells her not do
I like this poem because people will say tell what your gut says, but this girl took it into a new aspect and says don’t do what your gut tells you to do.
I like how you showed how innocent enough things can go so wrong.
#2:
One day I was walking on a track,
wondering about what the world would be like,
If it was like a spider web,
Sticky and silver,
Like a fly on a spider web,
You are caught by someone that wants to pull you down,
And when you have a glimpse of freedom,
You are eaten up and will never feel it.
You are using lots of metaphors. An example of this is when you compare life to a spiderweb.
I like how you describe the spider web using the words “Sticky and silver.”
This is a great poem I like how you compared this to life
The way you put this is amazing because, you put it in a way toward the way people think and wondering what the world will be.
A clever line is “When you have a glimpse of freedom, you are eaten up and will never feel it”. This line made me think about how hopeless people sometimes are, and they might feel like this when they are so close to their goal but they fail. For example, when you don’t put your name on a test and get a 0 for it. Your poem is very well written, and insightful, Ben.
#10
Books are good. Obviously, I wouldn’t read them if otherwise.
But I often wonder, what good do they do for you?
As you reach the end of the book,
it gets placed back on the wooden bookshelf,
pressing against the bookend,
with the end of the book scratching the surface of your memory,
as it slowly fades away.
Time took it far.
But as far as time can take it,
did you really just read the book because you wanted to, or were you forced.
So when the book slowly fades away,
with the end of book scratching the surface of your memory,
pressing against the bookend,
placed on the wooden bookshelf.
The end of the book itself.
What good does that do for you?
I like how throughout the entire story you had an effect that made me think why do you read and what is the point of it.
I like how you asked the question, “What good does that do for you?” to keep the reader thinking about the poem.
#4
In that old blue townhouse
With the broken, red gate
A chair
Worn in by you
Now it’s only a shadow of the past
A chilly September day
I remember
You asked me to dial his phone number
No answer, no call back– nothing
The past is creeping up again
Our shattered hearts
Will they ever repair?
Family and friends surrounding us
Candles burning through the night
The past merges with the present
It’s November now
Out on the Gulf
Cup in hand with his favorite drink
Somewhere Over the Rainbow plays
The sun is bright yellow– he’s with us
i like the way you use the way you used the words
I liked the word choice that u used.
Wow, that was really good!
#ten
Two more pages.
Two more pages left.
Two more pages to find the solution.
Two more pages left of wonder and exicment.
Two more pages to test our reality, yo go far above the stars.
Two more pages made for us to scratch our heads, to make us think.
Two more pages left of a land where magic is real.
Two more pages where wooden puppets become boys,
where if you belive, you can fly,
where anything can happen.
Two more pages left in the book.
Two more pages till
The End.
Courage shines
Cerulean blue water sparkles
A perfect picture to fit this frame
Cold metallic strokes facing a blazing sun
While a sharp wire hangs it from its neck
Gabe, great description!
I liked the beginning but at the end it didn’t make sense to me.
I like the “courage shines” part and the “A perfect picture to fit this frame” but not so much about the “while a sharp wire hangs from its neck.”
“Sad”.
Such a hollow word,
Void of real meaning.
Why would you use sad
To express a feeling of despair?
Sad is when you get a cut,
Or drop your icecream
Despair is when a loved one passes,
Or when you have no one left to turn to.
Why use sad
To express depression?
She runs through the grass,
tired, out of breath,
her chaser gaining on her.
She takes a sharp turn,
her golden hair blowing in the wind.
The chaser catches her as she tries to hide.
“Tag. You’re it.”
You did a very good job at describing the event in your poem
Hey, Jenna! I really like your poem because it’s really descriptive, and you make it sound like there’s a murder behind the girl, and that she running to escape. Good job! 🙂
Hi Jenna!
I love how your poem builds up very dramatically, until the ending, where the poem turns out to be describing a game of tag. I think that your word choice really made me think that there was a murderer behind her.
Very great poem. You made seem very adventurous , but then they were just playing tag.
I like how it sounds like she is being chased by a killer even though it’s just a game of tag.
I got a glimpse of the silver web stuck between the cracks of the track, it was truly a wonder of nature
I like how you described the web as silver.
I gallop with fear through the snow. With wolves following my tail, the gray sky opens up to show an enchanted castle. There’s a faint glow coming from one of the West Wing windows. I don’t look back at my footprints as I run inside the cathedral.
Hello?
Really good, Jeremy!! 🙂 I’m thinking that you could make a 55 word story with these words.
You only needed 8 more words, but this is really good too. (;
#5
There is no path. No worn road ahead.
No marking of footprints. No prayers left unsaid.
After miles of treetops, and kelly green meadow,
Sits one small cabin, with a red glowing window.
You peak in and see it, the light of the fire,
And knock on the door, feet covered in mire.
Stars in the sky, and wind in your face,
You start to hear movement, for a moment you brace.
The door swings open, and you only see white,
For an angel appears, much to your delight.
No more memory, of paths, windows or light,
The sky is upon you, marking skin with white.
I want to go to this cabin. I want to be this cabin.
#8 Connecting Words for Waterfall Glen
With a tug on her laces,
she rises,she gazes,
ready to step onto the graveled, stone stage
that is the path into the last of nature.
For nine and half miles
along the carved catwalk,
croaks of toads call for a love,
cries of mallards sing for their young.
No leaves on the trees
to hide Her gem, a waterfall in the glen.
She steps off the stage to gaze
Her visage in her Sister’s world.
Thunder claps in the purple sky.
Tears fall as she says good-bye.