This is the Open Write, a place for educators to nurture their writing lives and to advocate for writing poetry in community. We gather every month and daily in April — no sign-ups, no fees, no commitments. Come and go as you please. All that we ask is that if you write, you respond to others to mirror to them your readerly experiences — beautiful lines, phrases that resonate, ideas stirred. Enjoy. (Learn more here.)
Our Host
My name is Allison Berryhill and I live in Iowa where I teach English and advise the journalism program at Atlantic High School. My current obsession is puppets. Last winter I decided to make a marionette, and when I put blue sparkly eyes on the paper mache face, it reminded me of a line from “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” by Robert Browning: “with bright blue eyes each like a pin.” I decided to make my puppet into the Piper and memorize the 304-line poem while I was at it! I am still waiting for someone (anyone?) to invite me to recite the 26-minute poem. Follow me @aberryhill.bsky.social and schoolblazing.blogspot.com for random musings.
Inspiration
As I worked to memorize “The Pied Piper of Hamelin,” I wondered if I could boil it down and turn it into a sonnet. That made me think of turning nursery rhymes into haikus. Or Disney into limericks. I love the willingness of Open Write poets to embrace a playful challenge!
Process
Brainstorming is a problem-solving strategy that we expect students to understand even though teachers seldom explain its maneuvers and benefits. In this case, try to list 5-10 nursery rhymes, fairy tales, or poems you know well. The first few will come easily. You might have to push past the ones on the surface to reach 10. You will likely be surprised at what you come with! Even if you ultimately choose the first one on your list, you have cracked through a mental barrier and opened your mind to wider possibilities.
Now consider your list. Which one tugs at you? Which one smells sweet? Which one is winking, ready to be written?
I chose “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” because that is the poem I wanted to try as a sonnet. But I wrote it as a Haiku and as a Nonet just for fun!
Allison’s Poems
Haiku
Piper piped a tune
Drowned the rats and asked for pay
The children were next.
Nonet
Rats invaded Hamelin town swarming
Biting babies, raising bedlam
Townsfolk swarmed, cursed their mayor
Piper offered reprieve
Piped rats to their grave
But no one paid
Children gone
Lesson
Learned
Sonnet
When swarms of rats invaded Hamelin town
The people rose en masse, demanding change.
The mayor couldn’t keep the ruckus down
And quaked to feel their anger and their rage.
The Piper came and said he’d rid the place
Of all the vermin for a tidy sum.
He kept his bargain but to their disgrace
The council would not pay, the lying scum!
So Piper gathered children all around
And piped a tune seducing them away
To lock them in a cavern underground–
The ultimate revenging power play!
The moral, Willie? Just remember this:
To pay your debts and keep your promises
Now, scroll to the comment section below to write your own poem. (This is a public space, so you may choose to use only your first name or initials depending on your privacy preferences.) Not ready? That’s okay. Read the poems already posted for more inspiration. Ponder your own throughout the day. Return later. And, if the prompt does not work for you, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Just write something. Oh, and a note about drafting: Since we are writing in short bursts, we all understand (and even welcome) the typos and partial poems that remind us we are human and that writing is always becoming. If you’d like to invite other teachers to write with us, tell them to subscribe. Also, please be sure to respond to at least three writers.
Allison, so fun! Thank you for the great mentor poems. It’s so impressive what you’ve done with “The Pied Piper.” I’m watching a movie with my family and had some silly fun retelling “Hey, Diddle Diddle. ”
Go punky lunky–
Please greet the monkey.
The milk spilled
under the fridge.
The little fish slipped
right into the lake,
And the poet called it a night,
not at all skilled.
Hey Denise,
I might take issue with that last line, but this was fun to read in the cadence of “hey diddle diddle”!
This sounds like a great day with your family. It really made me smile.
Allison,
This was a really great prompt and you’re right, listing out poems that I knew well definitely jostled my brain! I chose to revisit a poem by Yusef Komunyakaa, The Towers, that he wrote about 9/11. He wrote it as an epistolary and he alludes to the myth of Daedalus and Icarus in the poem. I retell it as a sonnet, bringing it into our current political context.
No son, I can’t make sense of these days
unabashed hatred, naked ambition
we’ve stumbled off the path, been led astray
disavowed empathy, cursed contrition.
These digital wings Daedalus designed
send us soaring towards so many bright suns
emboldened, yet flying aimlessly and blind
wax melting away, our wings come undone.
Yes son, falling, we should have known better,
appealed to better angels to right our path
instead we gave in, from obligation unfettered
lost our humanity, consumed by wrath,
who can tell heroes from villains, just from unjust,
in the dark, deafened silence of settling dust.
Dave, there are so many great lines here and great connections made between Daedalus and our own political world. You have captured our plight with riches like:years ‘send us soaring towards so many bright suns /emboldened, yet flying aimlessly’
Allison — This was a fun prompt. I would like to return to this and try some other fairy tales in the future.
Golden Intruder
Truly, I only took a nibble.
As porridge goes, too hot, too cold,
really just mediocre.
Those chairs, what a disgrace!
Rock hard, please replace!
Snuggle in bed
Dreams in head
Not, quite
Bears!
You got to the heart of Goldilocks, Tammi. I agree this is a great prompt to come back to. I think students would love it!
I love this! I always use The Three Bears as a reference but your poem makes me only want to refer to you! Simple, honest, and perfect POV!
Lol, Tammi! Your lines, “[a]s porridge goes, too hot, too cold, / really just mediocre” had me smiling wide. Goldilocks is pretty snarky! I love it!
Tammi, this is so neat! My favorite is about chairs:
“Those chairs, what a disgrace!
Rock hard, please replace!”
They made me smile.
Tammi,
I love the title and the last line–Bears!–is stuck in my head!
Tammy, fun! Love the rhyming. The last lines really capture so much in just a few syllables.
I had my grandsons for the weekend. I’m tired.
Oh Captain, My Captain
An Ode to Captain Underpants
By Mo Daley 9/21/25
Oh, Captain Underpants, you giant man-boy
Who came alive from the page
To spread scatology gloriously
Throughout the 4-7 Netflix demographic,
You are my hero.
Your flatulence is fiercely funny
Your excrement elicits titters of excitement
And your Whoopee Cushion prank
Is the pièce de resistance,
You are my hero.
The Turbo Toilet 2000’s toxic toilet paper
Is pure evil genius
But to end with an unexpected love story,
Chef’s kiss!
You are my hero.
Thank you for allowing me to nap
For 45 minutes of my busy, busy day.
Mo,
You’ve truly captured the spirit of Captain Underpants in your poem.
These lines had me chuckling:
And your Whoopee Cushion prank
Is the pièce de resistance,
You are my hero.
Mo,
What a great ending! That nap, I’m sure, was worth it’s weight in fart jokes!
Olden faire tales of yore are forefront in my brain as I should be finishing grading the modern fairy tales narrative essays from my 88 9th graders right now, but instead I’m taking a break to see what’s up with the open write today. Please allow me to humbly offer my contributions:
This little piggy went to…haikus
Little Piggy Haiku 1-
I built my house of
straw. And sneezed and sneezed till dawn.
Morning brought healing.
Little Piggy Haiku 2-
Wood and earth and dirt
weather together but time
brings weak or strong out
Little Piggy Haiku 3-
Higher and higher
bricks build security but
false or authentic?
A Very big, bad wolf Haiku –
I only need a
small crack, and then you’re toast. You
have no chance. Despair.
Luke,
Haiku 3 really hits the mark! I was just reading along. Thinking of those pigs and the big bad wolf, so I wasn’t expecting the reality punch, but it was perfect!
Higher and higher
bricks build security but
false or authentic?
This is great, Luke. I love the multiple perspectives, especially the wolf’s! Despair indeed.
Love this version of The Three Little Pigs. Do share with your students. They’ll get a kick out of knowing that teachers across the country spent time on their weekend writing poems about nursery rhymes. (Me? That’s me. Giggling with the kids in the back corner.)
Luke, I love the slang of “you’re toast” by the “Very big, bad wolf” and his command of “Despair” as the last line of your Haiku tetralogy. And like Tammi, I love the truth of your third Haiku. Will higher walls provide actual security or just a false sense of it? Great question!
Allison, are we supposed to be having this much fun on a Sunday. I’m pooped, but didn’t want to miss writing, so I wrote even though I don’t have a nursery in this house!
POOPED IN THE NURSERY
Baa baa black sheep,
It used to make me weep
Yes, some of us have woolly, hairy heads
Some straighten our hair instead
Some wear stocking caps when we go to bed.
Humpty Dumpty didn’t have to fall
Down off of that crumbly wall
If he’d just stayed where we sent him
And row, row, rowed his boat.
Hush, little baby boy, no need to cry
Just look at that star twinkling in the sky
Yikes! An itsy bitsy spider crawling up your wall
Ain’t gonna hurt you, babe, No, not at all
Little Boy Blue better not be coming in here
Blowing that horn, blasting in my ear
Or I’ll send him up the hill with Jack and Jill
Hickory dickory, don’t be hurrying that clock
I need to rest before going to work on the dock.
Go ahead and sing,
This little light of mine
But turn it, don’t let it shine
It’s too bright and it ain’t even night!
ooh very nice. I enjoyed reading this a lot. I loved all these stories and images deftly strung together.
Anna,
I really enjoyed the way you wove all of these nursery rhymes together and the little twists you included.
Especially like the turn in this stanza from the peace of the twinkling star to the spider.
“Hush, little baby boy, no need to cry
Just look at that star twinkling in the sky
Yikes! An itsy bitsy spider crawling up your wall
Ain’t gonna hurt you, babe, No, not at all”
Tammi, who you “see” as the “babe”. The child or the spider? This could be a grammar lesson on antecedents!
I love the intermingling of the fairy tales, Anna. I can almost picture a community where they all live together. So well done!
“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”
By T. S. Eliot
Yeah, I’m old.
Ugh.
______________________________
“Introduction to Poetry”
By Billy Collins
Kids,
amirite?
always choosing
violence.
_______________________________
“Out, Out–”
By Robert Frost
zero days
since
last incident
(somebody
should call
CPS)
______________________________________________________
Thank you, Allison, for your prompt and your mentor poems (and your amazing Pied Piper marionette)! I love the ominous and foreboding ending of your Haiku: “The children were next.” For my offerings, I know that a few key plot points and whatnot were left on the cutting room floor, but I enjoyed the endeavor nonetheless!
So succinct yet deep. Serious yet hilarious. At least that’s my read. Thanks, Scott, I love these.
Scott,
I enjoyed your poem references and how you sandwiched Billy Collins “Introduction to poetry” between the bleakness of T.S. Elliot and Frost.
Before just now, I had never read “Out, Out-” before. Didn’t know Frost was that dark. Definitely need to call CPS!
Scott,
If I was drinking coffee, I would’ve spit it out at “zero days/ since/ last incident”. So diabolical!!! Somebody should definitely call CPS.
“Birds of a Feather” Haiku
Have the same likes and dislikes
and you may like me
or not.
A Rush
(from “One, Two, Buckle My Shoe”)
One, two, three, four, I can count plenty.
Five minutes. Shoes to put on.
Sticks, a hen and maids await.
Digging. At a door knocking.
Eight men standing straight
courting the maids.
Sixteen full plates.
Mine’s empty.
Sigh!
I must thank Kelsey and Allison for their prompts. It is so refreshing to be writing with this group again. All of you inspire me!
Susan,
I love your twist on Birds of a Feather and your snappy “and you may like me/or not.”
Both of your poems made me smile, Susan. I really like the arrangement of “A Rush.”
Allison, thank you for this interesting prompt. I love the concise nature of your haiku, with the dramatic last line – very suspenseful. I used one of my favorites from a former professor of mine, “Eating Poetry” by Mark Strand.
The poems were devoured at once.
Black ink streaked down his cheerful face.
He was eating poetry.
The librarian, shocked,
Cried and stomped her feet.
Transformed, he snarls,
Barks, and pants.
He eats
words.
Shaun,
That’s so cool that Mark Strand was your professor! I love “Eating Poetry” and used to teach it to my eighth graders every year.
Your retelling brings back the crazed joy and confusion.
Fantastic ending!
Shaun,
I really enjoyed your retelling of “Eating poetry” and especially these evocative images: “Black ink streaked down his cheerful face” and “transformed, he snarls”
Shaun, I love that Mark Strand was a former professor of yours! Your retelling of “Eating Poetry” is perfect! “He eats / words.” This makes me hungry for more poetry!
Thanks, Allison, for the great prompt and poems ~ Pied Piper is one of my favorites, read to my class by my 7th grade teacher on a Friday afternoon and carried with me the decades since…my poem is based on another poem which often pops into my mind…
Hope is the Thing with Feathers
Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul,
whose wordless song now weakens
in a cruelty seldom shown.
Storms have raged before, its true,
fiery gales have scorched the land
but downy feathers sheltered Hope
’til truth itself was banned.
Now I strain my ears to hear,
and with my trembling pen
transcribe Hope’s muffled song
until she’s free to sing again.
Ann,
I love that you know from what grade teacher and on what day you first heard “The Pied Piper” and that you carry it with you still.
Thank you for your gentle and reflective retelling of “Hope is the Thing with Feathers.”
Your retelling carries the weight of our unjust times, but still gives me hope.
May that day be soon.
Ann,
I feel this poem. We certainly are living through frightening times right now, and hope and truth seem so far away. I’m straining to hear Hope’s song. too.
Allison, Thank you for this invitation. I love your puppet and your different views of Pied Piper. I’m always surprised to see the darkness in children’s poetry. Thanks for sharing your writing and inspiration.
I’ve been thinking about the poem “All of These People” for a week and the question it poses. Last night watching Farm Aid I saw so many people joined for music, to support America’s farmers. And their words and voices were received by a diverse many without threat. I’ve shared the poem which inspired me and then the words I scratched together today.
These Musicians at Farm Aid 2025
All of These PeopleWritten and read by Michael Longley
Who was it who suggested that the opposite of war
Is not so much peace as civilisation? He knew
Our assassinated Catholic greengrocer who died
At Christmas in the arms of our Methodist minister,
And our ice-cream man whose continuing requiem
Is the twenty-one flavours children have by heart.
Our cobbler mends shoes for everybody; our butcher
Blends into his best sausages leeks, garlic, honey;
Our cornershop sells everything from bread to kindling.
Who can bring peace to people who are not civilised?
All of these people, alive or dead, are civilised.
These Musicians at Farm Aid 2025
Who was it that suggested that the opposite of war
Is not so much peace as civilisation? Margo Price reminds
Us with these words, “Adios mes amigos, Jesus & Maria
You won’t have a name when you ride the big airplane
All they will call you will be deportees” And Neil Young sang,
“If Liberty was a little girl/Watching all the flags unfurl
Standing at the big parade/How would she like us now?
It’s such a long walk home.” And finally Willie brought the evening
To a close as musicians joined him in song, “Will the circle
Be unbroken/By and by Lord, by and by/There’s a better home
Awaiting, . . .
Who can bring peace to people who are not civilised?
All of these musicians, alive or dead, are civilised.
With the hope of peace.
I love this…how we all can and should support each other, working together for a common cause. I really like how you included specific song lyrics as you took us through the concert.
I love the message in your poem, Jamie. Here’s a fun fact about me- I was at the original Farm Aid concert!
This was fun; it made me think of something that happened last week in my house. My partner stood on a wheely chair to reach a bug on the ceiling and I started quoting the beloved children’s book Officer Buckle and Gloria. He didn’t understand. So I gave him the summary of the book. Kind of like these below; haiku summaries of some of my favorite read alouds from elementary-land:
Officer Buckle and Gloria
Safety is boring
Until K9 does backflips:
Don’t climb wheely chairs.
Chrysanthemum
Girl with flower name,
“Scarcely fits on her name tag”:
Be you, be kind, bloom.
Miss Nelson is Missing!
Tough class tests teacher,
The Swamp gives them “the business”:
Kids, behave…or else!
Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
The rules are simple:
Birds can’t get a CDL;
Pigeon is cunning.
Strega Nona
Tall boy won’t listen,
Floods town with magic pasta,
Witch makes him eat it.
What a clever and captivating approach to summarizing texts! Chrysanthemum is too cute! I know a lot of teachers who teach the book. Your haiku would be a perfect tease.
CO, I feel like you’ve hit your rhythm with these haikus and you could probably keep going all day long. Well done!
Allison, you are awe-inspiring. Thanks for hosting! Love the various ways you’ve shared the Pied Piper tale. I hope to get to see your marionette in person one day and to hear you deliver the Pied Piper, too.
Just Desserts
A feast made for a king, pie in fact—
filled with blackbirds, four and twenty
to be exact. A dainty
dish? I’d rather eat bread
and honey like the
queen, and snip the
king’s nose off
for the
maid
Injustice
kings count money
while poor maids
lose their noses
Barb Edler
21 September 2025
Ok Barb! both of these poem are so succinct and clever! I just love them!
Barb,
Haha!!! I love what you’ve given us to enjoy today! Both poems are a hit!
💛
Barb, I have always wondered about blackbird pie. What in the world? I know people eat dove and quail and chicken and turkey….but blackbirds? I’m with you – give me the honey.
Thank you, Barb, for these fun poems. I like the two titles, and pointing out and sometimes changing the details, like the king getting his nose snipped instead of the maid.
Hi Allison, I’m beyond impressed with your memorization skills AND your puppeteering talents. Just wow! This was fun and I am eager to enjoy all the posts today.
I think I’ll stick with the nonet for September. I chose a famous playground clap song, “Miss Mary Mack” to inspire my nonet. I didn’t need to do much other than delete the end that includes 4th of July. It just wouldn’t fit. 🤣
A Nonet for Miss Mary Mack
Miss Mary Mack dressed in black, black, black
Silver buttons down her back, back
She asked her mother, mother
For fifteen cents, cents, cents
To see elephants
Jumping a fence
They jumped high
Touched sky
Bye!
©Stacey L. Joy, 9/21/25
This one is fun, Stacey! Your “Bye!” seals it better than “4th of July, ly ly” at the end. I had to read the original lyrics since I haven’t heard it before.
Ooh, you brought some memories back with this one, Stacey! This was one of our playground staples back in the day.
Allison, your image of the marionette is incredible and reminds me of the amazing puppets in Sicily at a tiny museum for Pinocchio. I really appreciate your prompt as it got me thinking of the classic rhymes and stories that I have used as a teacher and as a grandmother like Goldilocks.
A Nonet from Goldilocks to her Mom
I saw this house, went inside and then
Had oatmeal, it was amazing,
Broke a flimsy little chair,
Looked everywhere I could
Sat on a hard bed,
Tried a pink one,
Furious
Bears on
Way
A Haiku from her Mom to Goldilocks
You do not enter
Eat, break, nap, snoop, you are
Lucky and grounded.
Anita, I love the two different versions of Goldilocks here and the tone is perfect for both. Your endings are delightful. Laughing out loud with the furious bears bit!
Anita, such a fun response to Goldilocks. I’ve often shared with children – mine and students the absurdity of someone entering our home to taste what’s on the stove, try out our bed. I love your humorous tone.
These two work together so well!
Thank you for the chuckle. Goldilocks deserved to be grounded.
Anita! I wondered if Goldilocks would ever get her comeuppance ~ thanks for your clever and delightful haiku…
excellent! Love the exchange, and the tone of each is perfect! “Lucky and grounded”
Love the structure of a poem
message and response. There is
much
mother tone in that haiku of being grounded!!! Ha!
Wow, Allison! Impressed with the memorizing of the poem and your excellent mentor poems. Thanks for the ideas!
I am reading Cinder with my eighth graders right now. Did a blackout/found poem.
Cinder the Cyborg
she wasn’t
sexy
or someone
pretty
But
what if
what if
nobody cared?
wish, think, kneel, see
face and body
contrasted with
steel.
Denial nowhere
not afraid
not afraid
of her own reflection
her mechanical reflection
on Earth.
Angie,
I like the repetition:
and
I feel like it puts me in the character’s head, as she works to convince herself that change is possible.
Thanks for providing both the text and the blackout form. Interesting to see how the spacing impacts the way I read them.
Angie,
I’m with Sharon—the use of repetition in your poem creates some wonderful points of emphasis. I also love how that gives your poem a pulse and rhythm. There’s a real sense of empowerment here too!
Angie,
I love this book, which was recommended to me by an 8th grader in my class! How wonderful that it is a shared text in your classroom, and what a great use of this prompt – the blackout/found poem.
I love thinking about this phrase “mechanical reflection” and am pondering the layers of meaning and relevance in our world.
Peace,
Sarah
Angie, I feel like your line of “what if nobody cared” is the essence of your poem. Such a powerful what if….
Hi Angie,
I ADORE Blackout poems and you nailed it. Your poem makes me want to read more. Oh, how I long for nobody caring about appearances.
Very cool, blackout poem, Angie. Your selection of words develops a striking emotional tone. I bet your students will love this one.
Angie, I have to check out this book. I am drawn to the final four lines:
“not afraid
of her own reflection
her mechanical reflection
on Earth.”
Makes me think about self-exploration and acceptance.
Allison,
Thanks for being our pied piper today. I’m with Kevin, make that video or audio recording of your impressive memorization. You’re the pied piper, you don’t need to wait for an invitation!
I focused on a novel I just read, The Slip by Lucas Schaefer. I loved using the different forms to make sense of the characters and their actions and the larger theme of Schaefer’s novel. The sonnet was a struggle! Glad I stuck with it. Making a mental note to continue with this prompt later this week as there are so many other great characters in The Slip that I’d like to write about including Mariam, the unsure rookie cop.
________________________________________________
Haiku
Austin boxing gym
gender, race transformations
all (mis)understood
Nonet
First thingers, cops, teens, border crossers
at Terry Tucker’s boxing gym
everyone is welcome but
gap between self, seen
unseen dreams of change
game faces tried on
stolen selves
wild schemes
slip
Petrarchan Sonnet
Terry Tucker mother fucker grumbles
offers boxers, old men, lost teens escape
greets all by name and wields duct tape
preaches consistency. ignores stumbles
Nathaniel Rothstein, teen, barely mumbles
horny, lumpy, grumpy, way out of shape
as he hides self, tries on Blackness as cape
mimics Haitian mentor, racial fumbles
At first, mentor David reacts with pride
secretly mad, always oozing false charm
hoping to let go of wrong self and guide
But once David realizes how much boy lied
he calls the cops, mistaken race causes harm
sixteen years pass until in ring boy’s spied
You took this to task with three forms! I’ll be checking that book out for our book club to think about! Love the sonnet too – challenging but you prove it is so worth the work!
Sharon,
Your use of this prompt really seems to work, also, as book talks, enticing me to read this book. We really are welcomed into the characters’ being in your retelling forms while also recognizing glimpses of ourselves in each like David “reacts with pride” and Terry’s “gap between self” and Austin misunderstood. Very cool.
Sarah
I do not know this book, but it is now earmarked for reading. Thank you for the book prompt as well as three amazing forms.
Sharon—
So now I’m super intrigued about the novel! I love what you did with the sonnet and the narrative that you weave. The first couplet is great; I was instantly hooked!
Sharon, I like the way you laid out your thoughts about the book in these three poem forms. From themes, maybe tied to setting? A broad view of characters. And finally a listing of characters bringing details to the reader. Thanks for sharing.
Allison, what a fun prompt for Sunday! I love the idea. I thought immediately to bring it to the classroom when teaching Shakespeare to retell his plays. I didn’t grow up here, so my knowledge of nursery rhymes is limited )) I chose the one everybody here knows too well, but didn’t get to sonnet, like you.
On Old Mac’s Farm
There once was a farmer named Mac,
Whose animals answered him back—
With moo and with oink,
Neigh, baah and some quack,
A chorus of barnyard clack-clack!
Morning at Old Mac’s Farm
Old MacDonald yawned and stretched in his bed,
but the farm was awake long before that.
Cows mooed to rouse him up,
pigs squealed for breakfast slop,
ducks quacked out of tune,
horses neighed loud,
sheep baahed,
Mac—
“Help!”
Leilya,
I like how you incorporated so many of the fun animal sounds and then gave us a realistic twist at he end:
Both your endings made me smile:
Oh, so smart in the shift of insight toward the “farm was awake long before that” and the knowing nature of animals.
Leilya, your poems are a fun take on the old rhyme, but the line about the animals answering him back makes me smile broadly and reminds me of conversations with grad student teachers about reading deeply into poems and songs, Why did they keep answering him back?
Leilya, I really love the humor in both of these pieces, but especially the way the animals talk back in the first one. Your use of sound devices is perfect. Love the “Help!” at the end of your second poem. Very fun!
Leilya, It’s easy to find the melody in your words. Love the idea of them, answering him back. And love how the nonet brings a tension as the number of words decrease.
Wow, Allison! It’s so cool to see how using different forms can really distill the meaning of a story, or give it new life.
I tried a Hansel and Gretel sonnet, but from the point of view of the witch.
She broke free from them and went to the woods;
the witch wanted only to be alone.
Self-care was her primal aim–no more “shoulds”–
creating candy walls and rafters–home.
Time passed…she found that she could finally breathe
the scent of holy sugar wrapping ’round
tall pines that encircled her house like a wreath.
By others’ norms she was no longer bound.
Then one day, young voices disturbed her peace.
Her irresistible home of sweeties
beckoned the youth to sample with caprice,
ensuring their future diabetes.
The witch took the long view–“Karma’s a b****,”
and left foolish youth to their devices,
knowing their ultimate fate made her twitch
with mad laughter as they paid the prices.
Her “magic” was viewed as a vicious threat,
but she only let them pay their own debt.
Julie, what a great way to retell Hansel and Gretel with a fresh perspective. Reading the witch’s side is quite engaging. She isn’t a villain anymore, and I can emphasize with her because she sounds like a misunderstood persona seeking self-care. I love the modern touches: “self-care,” “Karma’s a b****,” “diabetes,” “devices.”
What a great villain’s retelling, Julie. I love the imagery in
“the scent of holy sugar wrapping ’round
tall pines that encircled her house like a wreath.”
thanks for sharing!
She has a point! Love the point of view switch!
Julie,
I feel this magic viewed as a vicious threat in so many women, and so love how your poem shows the behind the scenes and the patience of some to let Karma do the persisting. I old onto that.
Julie,
Very cool! I was working on flipped fairy tales with my Children’s Lit course last week and it’s so much fun to rethink and reimagine those stories. “They got what was coming to them”’is an interesting twist on this story!
Julie, You begin with humor as we must shift our view of the witch from frightening to peace seeking. Loe the line “ensuring their future diabetes.” Something children never consider. Would be great to teach perspective.
“The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
and the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again”
Spider Tale #1
I watched her—
this tiny little spider,
eight legged sysiphus.
The climb, the deluge, the fall.
Then the warmth of the sun…
Hope restored, climb resumed.
Maybe this time…
Spider Tale #2
The spider climbed up
Washed away by rain, only
To begin again.
Gayle,
I like your retelling of resilience in both of these. The first naming the observe of hope watching another, willing it to be; the second with an anonymous witness noticing as a matter of fact that it begins again. There is automaticity in the second, a nature to it.
Gayle, your spider is so brave and resilient! I love this rendition and hopeful “Maybe this time…”
Both of these are excellent, Gayle. I love “The climb, the deluge, the fall.” Makes the spider sound that much more powerful!
Gayle, who knew such hope and tenacity could be found in a spider nursery rhyme? This makes me want to look for themes and betterment in all of them.
Allison, these retellings are marvelous. Your sonnet sings! I don’t know how you are able to keep the original memorized after writing your summer! Thank you for sharing this prompt. I tried just the haiku and nonet. Can you guess which nursery rhyme I am retelling?
Haiku
old woman and kids
original tiny house
living in shoestrings
Nonet
old woman and kids spilling from shoe
living on love and lots of prayer
she keeps her cool, resourceful
scrapes together morsels
never a shortage
kisses and hugs
children know
what’s real:
mom
i always loved the original rhyme.And your two modern versions—the tiny house, the play on words with shoestrings. And the capable mother. “Children know what’s real”
Patricia,
I so appreciate how your nonet makes room for the humanizing of a woman in a beloved story named for her yet so focused on the kids in my memory. This is a story of the woman so deserved in her “scrapes together morsels” acts of strength you capture in these phrases.
Patricia,
I like how your poems center on the mom’s resourcefulness and love. I appreciate the feminist retellings and the sweet ending.
Patricia, your retellings are better than the original. Your haiku is minimalist, just like the shoestrings where the old woman lives with her kids. In a nonet, your old woman is kinder, more caring and loving. She’s true “mom” her kids need.
I am seeing so much about these different forms today and how they shape the retelling. Yours captures the Old Woman and the Shoe in modern terms – the original tint house! I love it!
These are both so great. Thanks for sharing, Patricia. My favorite line is all of them really. It’s hard to separate from the total works.
Allison, your retelling of Pied Piper reads like a modern day tale, a bellwether if ever there was one. I adore your marionette! You’ve inspired me to take the paper mache´ class that I keep putting off (maybe next summer!). What a fun prompt. It led me to Rumplestiltskin and I couldn’t let the date pass by without adding a nod.
Headlines
Power Hungry King
Desiring Gold for Himself
Locks Girl Away
Greed Drives Country’s King
To Place Working Citizens
Under Lock and Key
Cunning Trickster and
Dealmaker Demands Payment
In Service Exchange
Boastful Father Lies
Tries to Gain Favor from King
Offers Own Daughter
(a just because…)
The 21st Night
Past loves, remember
Classic grooves in September
Dance in the moment
Zing! Jenifer your turning is spot on. And I LOVE the nod to EW&F 💕
“Dance in the moment.” Bittersweet.
Oh, this is so clever, so smart, Jennifer. I read the poem before reading the intro or other comments, and so I had to look up the 21s night part. Ha. Perfect way to draw in some headlines of grooves to off-set some of the absurd and scary truths I wish were tales at this point.
For fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gs069dndIYk
Jennifer, you wowed me again! What a clever version with headlines. I like that your poem reads almost like a commentary on these headlines that strengthen the message and critique of power (Power Hungry King), greed (Desiring Gold for Himself), and exploitation (Cunning Trickster). The bonus haiku brings us back to “Classic grooves in September.” And then “Do you remember?” La-la-la!
Allison—I am so impressed—the puppet, the memorization level, your retelling! Now to consider what to retell, my self…
Allison, I adore that puppet you made! My all-time favorite accordionist and wedding officiant now turned puppeteer designer! What a fabulous prompt today to get us thinking about different ways of telling stories. My puppet stage is set: a grimy-looking goblin and a beautiful marsh nymph with a gown of emerald green and a string of emerald glass beads. Here goes, starting with my favorite childhood poem on which my Shakespearean Sonnet retelling is based:
Overheard on a Saltmarsh by Harold Monro (1879-1932)
Nymph, nymph, what are your beads?
Green glass, goblin. Why do you stare at them?
Give them me.
No.
Give them me. Give them me.
No.
Then I will howl all night in the reeds,
Lie in the mud and howl for them.
Goblin, why do you love them so?
They are better than stars or water,
Better than voices of winds that sing,
Better than any man’s fair daughter,
Your green glass beads on a silver ring.
Hush, I stole them out of the moon.
Give me your beads, I want them.
No.
I will howl in the deep lagoon
For your green glass beads, I love them so.
Give them me. Give them.
No.
Nymphs Don’t Play by Kim Johnson
a goblin glumphed upon a marsh nymph fair
far through the pluff he’d glimpsed a glow of green
such beauty drew him to her, for to stare
pay homage to her globes he hoped to glean
nymph, nymph he glowered, sweetening his gaze
as moonlight cast a truth beam on intent
this young sylph, so accustomed to his ways
was not a stranger to his guileful glint
what are your beads that cast such radiant gleam?
they’re moonbeads, goblin, made of emerald glass
which thereupon his threat suddenly seemed
the type that beckoned kicking goblin ass
and so this marsh nymph, queen of her domain
unleashed unparalleled gonadic pain
Oh, Kim, you made me smile with the “beckoned kicking goblin ass” and that play on “gonadic pain.” This has the making of a YA novel for sure!
Crying-laughing at your bass ass nymph!! Awesome!
I am so glad that your last alliterative chooses were goblin ass and gonads! Sarah is right — I see a young adult picture book in your future!
Kim,
This is so fun to read. Love all the alliteration and onomatopoeia.
I especially like:
Kim, you’ve captured sounds, images, and magic in both of these poems. I love the questions in the first one, and how you lead us to the end result in the second poem. My favorite line is “the type that beckoned kicking goblin ass”. What a hoot!
Kim, “Overheard on a Saltmarsh” is now part of my life…I almost feel that I was with you, flashlight in tow, reading in the darkened closet of childhood. The enchantment is real. As for this nymph…we knew she was tough all along for not giving up her beads (I daresay there’s much metaphor in it) and that the goblin was no match. Your word choices are just astounding… not just the goblin getting his due, but the “glumphed” and “pluff” and “sylph” and “guileful glint” – the whole scene and bog-like atmosphere come to life, vividly. Such artistry!
What a fun challenge, Allison! My mind is a’spiraling as I follow the pied piper through your poetic forms. That you were first inspired to write a sonnet amazes me. I have noticed that sometimes I will feel the “music” of a poem before the words come – therein forms the form, ha. Today I took one of the most familiar childhood songs – my three-year-old granddaughter sings it so beautifully – and ran with haiku story in homage to a particular star that I look for each pre-dawn morning. Many thanks for this playful inspiration!
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star Retelling
(inspired by my favorite star,
Sirius)
Pixel of night’s sky
shimmering—I don’t know why
I will Google you
Flashing red and green
when other stars hang so still
—how do you do it?
Black velvet backdrop
studded with countless rhinestones—
none compare to you
Bright beautiful hound
greeting me from the heavens
glittering and free
I’m just an earth-child
gazing upon you in awe
tiny soulful fire
ooooh, that’s so cool. “Pixel of night’s sky” is such a great first line that dazzles the earth-child. Wonderful.
Fran, your line of “black velvet backdrop studded with rhinestones” is just the icing on this lovely poem. I was coming home late last night and that is just what the sky looked like as I left the busy city and headed into the dark suburbs. Lovely
Fran, I’m seeing the constellations here and feeling the dazzle of story in night sky, Franna cuddled up with granddaughters, telling the stores – – living the stories, singing the stories, weaving the memories that will last throughout time and transcend earth and sky. It’s absolutely a beautiful moment, and I can hear the little voice singing it.
Oh, Fran. I am smiling here with the “I don’t know why/ I will Google you” as I read that in a couple different ways (which I love about poetry). And that last stanza is lovely. It lingered on my lips with the “tiny soulful fire.” Yes, yes to that.
Fran, each is more beautiful than the next. Every time I find a line to savor (pixel of night’s sky), another one takes its place (tiny soulful fire). The image of the earth-child gazing at Sirius calls to mind childhood (grew up in the 70’s), space exploration (born in the 60’s) and also the magic of childhood (getting lost in the stars and all that might be out there). This is truly magical.
Wow. “Tiny soulful fire”.
Hi Fran! Love the color throughout your poem especially “Black velvet backdrop” and the way that sounds.
Fran, wow! Your poem captures the wonder of the night sky perfectly. I love your allusions to constellations and that final stanza is on fire! Loved “tiny soulful fire”. Very fresh description. Fantastic diction and sound devices, too!
This is lovely Fran! pixels of the night sky…black velvet backdrop studded with countless rhinestones…bright beautiful hound glittering and free…and the gazing earth-child, the tiny soulful fire…all such beautiful images bringing earth and sky together in wonder!
Instructions on Not– Just Not
More than the trio of teen girls
draped in crocheted dresses,
licking gelato on the promenade;
More than the nursing mother
shaded by a Gucci sand umbrella
reading aloud a novella in Serbian,
it’s the biker, that really gets to me.
Unstradling the motorcycle, she lifts the
hot pink helmet. I see my nonna at eighty,
five foot nothing, apron-bellied in her
lemontree housedress stride from the spiaggia.
She knows the secret staircase vine-camouflaged;
her well-earned calloused bare toes take the iron steps
toward the vacant-cliffed perch waiting for her;
she unrolls the yoga mat strapped to her back,
and strips to her bikini to brown on beach rock
just where waves crash to cool her toes.
Sun-bathing nonna at dawn removes
the visual spell of media grams, a return to
unfamiliar bodies living in three D ways,
beings I’d not seen in my square corner
of labor devices and mirrors. An invitation
of continuous living despite the mess of us,
the empty, the veiled. I’m coming, Nonna.
— a retelling from https://www.oprahdaily.com/entertainment/books/a35991203/ada-limon-poem-instructions-on-not-giving-up-spring/
I want to be there! I want to know that Nonna and all her secrets. There are so many great images from the hot pink helmet to lemon-tree house dress, apron-bellied…stripping to bikini. That invitation to continuous living is beautiful. Now, I”m off to click that link. I want to know more!
Sarah, I want to BE that Nonna, confident of what I want and who I am while uncaring as to how it looks to be a certain age among of world that clad in flimsy crochet tops showing their still nu-marred by life bodies! Inspriing!
Sarah, I’m cheering this verse right from the Ada Limon seeds that took you back in time to Nonna sunbathing just shy of the crashing waves. That last stanza phrase – – the mess of us, the empty, the veiled……oh, what power and meaning in the living that assures us that all of us, even the least suspected of us, are a complete and total mess. Something we can all bank on and bask in a sunbathe-brown-bikini in.
Sarah, if only… that phrase kept repeating itself as I read further and with more abandon. You tell the story of life in 3 acts (girl, mother, grandmother). It makes me wonder if it takes a lifetime to live with a to-hell-with-it attitude (I’m there, I think) or if the culture allows for it to unfold. Love the words media grams (and the play on grandma there) and labor devices – modern day kennings.
I want to be that woman, that Nonna. (Or maybe I want to be you, traveling the world right now— not giving up spring”)
You paint a vivid picture”continuous living”. Beautiful!
Sarah,
This is fantastic! I feel like I’m right there with you in a small town piazza.
One thing I like about swimming at my local swimming hole is seeing actual woman’s bodies of all ages and shapes, woman who are comfortable in their bodies as the swim, stretch or just sit.
Sarah, I love how you pull the reader right into the poem by setting the scene and showing what really gets to the speaker. The precise actions draw on imagery and sensory appeal. I can feel those calloused toes, see the secret staircase, and smell that sea breeze. Nonna is inspiring. Thanks for sharing the link!
Sarah, I love the way you pull the reader right into this scene establishing the place and what gets to the narrator the most. Your precise descriptions make me feel as though I am part of this scene. Witnessing the teen girls and the secret staircase. I can feel the calloused bare toes and smell the sea breeze. Nonna is inspiring. Thanks for sharing the link!
Sarah,
I lonnnnng to be like this beautiful, care-free soul:
❤️🔥
How fun! Just the remembering of nursery rhymes is fun…there’s so many that start to come to mind once I got started. Thanks for this prompt.
This is with apologies to Kevin…haiku is not built for rhyme and the beat is really off…and I’m mixing nursery rhymes with idioms. I’m not a ” ‘dat” speaking girl…so it felt weird to use that slang. But, it was fun anyway!
hey diddle diddle
dat moon can’t swing by itself
find you a fiddle
you, diddle diddle
make it sing with some riddles
til’ stars start to twirl
let da’ nighttime jazz
smoke those beams in ‘dat jar
bring cows home again
I can hear some finger snaps in the air!
Oh, is this fun, Linda! Clever and so musical, indeed. There’s a new energy in this jazzy retelling – makes a body want to dance.
Linda, you’re speaking the language of where I live here in rural Georgia, and I’m there with you, my poet friend! While I don’t always speak it, I can certainly hear it, and here you’ve delivered it so effortlessly I’d have never known your reluctance to try it. Fabulous poem, and it makes me want to swing on the moon in the night sky!
Linda,
I can feel the joy you must have conjured to write this playful verse. Each apostrophe echos that joy for me especially in the “nighttime jazz.”
Jazz music reigns here!
Fun, fun, fun!! Your use of dat and da’ worked perfectly!
The muskrat, Chuchundra,
trembles as he relays the news –
his cousin, Chua, reminded him:
snakes are everywhere –
Can’t you hear? Can’t you hear?
A poetic riff off a minor character in Rikki Tikki Tavi
Thanks for the prompt, Allison! Maybe you need to video or audio record yourself reading the Pied Piper poem!
Kevin
ooooh. that’s a good one. I wouldn’t have remembered that one
Thanks, Kevin. I like this take and reminder of snakes; indeed, an invitation to listen and maybe consider my own words potentially snaking spaces.
So creative, Kevin – that repetition of “Can’t you hear?” serves as both warning and invitation. Not to mention the musicality 🙂 Also love that you chose a minor character.
Kevin, that’s one of my favorite childhood stories. I loved, loved, love some Rikki Tikki Tavi. I’m with you – – Allison, please read your Pied Piper Poem!