Thank you for joining us on our last day of the December writing challenge. A very special thank you to Glenda Funk who developed all the poem inspirations and encouraged us each day. Next month, Stacey Joy will guide our writing from January 18-22. We hope to see you back here, and please invite a colleague to join you. Here is our email reminder sign-up form, and here is our flyer. And, now, let’s write!
Inspiration
Skinny Poem: In this busy holiday season when teachers’ find time in short supply, we can find inspiration in a less is more approach to writing.
One of my favorite poems, Ezra Pound’s “In a Station of the Metro,” creates an image of loneliness in modernity with two lines and 14 words.
A Skinny poem invites us to construct vivid images with few words. Skinnys have eleven lines, but nine of the lines contain only one word each. Only lines one and ten deviate from the one-word line length.
- Line one begins with a strong image;
- lines 2-10 build on the image in line one;
- lines six and ten repeat the word used in line two; and
- line 11 must be comprised of all words in line one, but the words may be ordered in any way the writer desires.
Notice how the repeated lines (words) reinforce the image. The Skinny form originated in 2005 at the Tony Medina Writing Workshop.
Process
- Find inspiration in a teaching moment, a holiday event, a work of art, a pet. Search online and capture the moment in a sentence. Try to avoid using being verbs. These verbs often create passivity in our writing.
- Make a list of possible words to add to the poem. Play with the order.
- I find numbering the lines helpful as I compose.
- Remember lines 2, 6, and 10 repeat.
- Rewrite line ll using only the words from line one.
Mentor poem by Glenda
I wrote my poem after teaching Edward Hopper’s painting “Nighthawks.” I also invited students to compose a skinny poem based on the painting.
"After Teaching Nighthawks" We sit alone together in a crowded cafe, Isolated, angry, afraid, muted. Isolated, evil shadowed, stalked. Isolated, in a crowded cafe we sit together alone. ©Glenda Funk
Post your writing any time today. If the prompt does not work for you today, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Please be sure to respond to at least three writers. Below are some suggestions for commenting with care.
We sit together in the library alone,
Stressed,
hungry,
aching,
overworked.
Stressed,
beat,
broke,
broken,
stressed.
We sit together in a library together alone.
I used the word volcanic earlier this week, but I needed it again tonight to capture this explosive girl. THANK YOU, Glenda, for a great week of do-able poems! (Today in Creative Writing Club we wrote Fibs!) Sarah, it is a monthly pleasure to gather here with fellow teacher poets for sharing and support. Thank you for making it happen! Love to you all!
She slams through the door without a pass,
searing,
seething,
lidded,
volcanic,
searing.
Smacks
her
laptop,
searing.
She’s through. Without a pass. The door slams.
Allison, your first and last sentences are fabulous. So easy to picture, unfortunately. I hope it’s just this time of year, it I feel I could have written this poem today, too.
Side note- do you think our students realize that their actions stay with us as long as they do?
Allison,
Moments such as the one you describe are such a challenge. That you capitalize “Smacks” is telling. It’s one thing to avoid exacerbating a “volcanic” student but another when that student does something that could damage a laptop. I know this student. The reordering of line eleven emphasizes the line crossed.
Also want to add: Love the hissing sound in all the /s/ repetitions.
I’m so happy you shared fibs in your creative writing group. It’s gratifying to learn the formula(s) tapped into writers’ creativity.
Allison—I think I taught this girl!! You have capture “angry teen girl” with accurately vivid language. I can practically hear the door, and see the look of defiance in her face. Do. Not. Mess. With. Me. Love this poem!!
Allison- From the first line, I was right there, caught in that moment so familiar to teachers., I love how your very act of writing this “skinny” speaks to your own teacher gift, as you pause to notice this student’s searing, seething, volcanic moment. That you reflected on her with this lean and clean poem speaks volumes to your capacity as a teacher. There are so many volcanic moments in teaching, and a poetic response that reflects on the moment deepens our expertise, our calming effect on explosive students, and our capacity to make our classrooms safe havens when otherwise, students aren’t in such safe spaces. I’ve watched too many teachers who struggle at this challenging moment and let volcano ignite volcano sending the moment into an aggressive or sarcastic war zone. Something I absolutely love about our poetic community here is the human- centered ness of every one here. Each one experiences very tough teaching challenges and takes on a reflective, mindful, and then artistic way of viewing it through careful, resonant words. You’re a gem! Love, Susie
My reason for writing poetry: to hear Susie Morice’s loving, generous, and insightful interpretations! Susie, I am reading your responses to our poems as MENTOR TEXTS for how to respond to my students’ poems. Thank you. xo
Susie has an eye for seeing things we don’t see in our own work. She’s simply amazing. She’s got a true pair of poet’s eyes and the perspective and mind to go with them……
Glenda, thanks for a great week. I loved learning so many fun, new formats. Was there a bit of irony in choosing the Skinny right as we approach the holidays?!?
Thanks also to so many of you who have taken the time to provide so many thoughtful and encouraging comments. You all inspire me. What a wonderful community!
Mo,
Ha! No. I wanted the week to end w/ an easy format given teachers gave two more days in this difficult week. ?
Glenda, none of these has been easy! 🙂 But that’s okay! It’s what made each day a challenge. Having to discipline ourselves to work within specific guidelines, proved to be a learning experience, which we all seek as we continue to teach and grow, but having the freedom to choose our topics and decide not to follow the “rules”, made it a fun and inspiring week. Most of us kept our “B”, responding to 4/5 prompts this week. 🙂
Once again, the interaction among the writers reminds us how powerful this strategy can be within our classrooms. We have no reason to say, there’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to planning lessons in poetry writing. We’ve got lots of fresh ideas to incorporate all year.
Thank you.
The early morning fog rises through the woods
Whirling
Hugging
Sneaking
Creeping
Whirling
Enveloping
Masking
Waiting
Whirling
Through early morning woods rises the fog
Mo,
The progressive verb forms give motion to the fig’s movement. I love the way fiction works this way. The /W/ sound reinforces that movement. I have a clear image (pun intended) of the fog “masking” and “enveloping.” Your skinny is a lovely compliment to other fog-themed poems. I find myself drawn to poems that put weather at the center.
Mo,
I like the hugging image the most as I think of how fog does this to all it passes. Thank you for your poem.
Masking, waiting–I feel the fog closing in, whirling. This poem is a sensory experience!
No – Fog is such a rich poetic image that I thoroughly waded in it here. I partylove the “masking” image. You picked a wonderful focus for your skinny. Glad I came back this morning to find it! Thanks, Susie
Enveloping. I love the enveloping of the fog. Truth: I sometimes take the long way to work all because there is a pond where the fog settles over the water and swallows just enough of the trees to be worth the view on the way to work. I wish I could walk into that fog and just settle there and snooze for a few days sometimes…….
Your skinny is beautiful today.
Fashionably Late
She always arrived late to every party.
Wondering,
Anxiously.
Noticed?
Wanted?
Wondering,
Nervous,
Breathing,
Entering.
Wondering…
To every party, she always arrived late.
Chris,
I feel as though the stars aligned and gifted this skinny poem to me through you. Today, the theme of my existence has been “wondering.” And I’m questioning whether or not I’m “Noticed?” and/or “Wanted?” The “Entering” at the end reminds me going to the party, taking a chance are worth the chance we take, even when “fashionably late.” Thank you.
Chris,
You certainly have me wondering about the subject of the poem. I am wanting to know who the “she” is and how her wondering could have or if her wondering could have been answered by anyone other than herself. I also think about the speaker of this poem and the speaker as an observer of all these late arrivals.
Love this,
Sarah
Social anxiety! I have a friend who is ALWAYS late. Very late. I always think of it as rudeness, but you have me wondering if there might be more to the story. Thanks for pushing the envelope on this one, Chris.
Chris – I love the reflective tone of your skinny. It poses such real queries that I’ve had myself about late arrivals, chronically late. And posing these as wondering is so fair-minded and civil instead of my knee-jerk judgments. In these few reflective words you’ve taught a civility and a human-centered mindset. Good going! Susie
Chris,
I know this person. I try to get out of parties. I feel forced to talk about issues and people I’d rather not discuss. I understand the “she” here. I’m with her – looking for every escape we can find. Wondering how we can leave…..wondering, wondering, wondering.
With the saga coming to an end tomorrow, my brain is focused here:
Only at the end, the asset revealed; captured we were
Baby
Adorable
Big-eared
Round-eyed
Baby
Green
Force-wielding
Frog-eating
Baby
The asset captured, revealed only we at the end.
Jennifer — I love how this reads like a trailer, setting us up for the grand finale. Cool! It’s funny how just the three words “the asset revealed” set me for Baby Yoda and who knows what is to come! Very crafty! Susie
Jennifer,
How fun this is! Baby Yoda immortalized in a skinny poem. Yoga’s poem this is! Love the compound words. Confession: I need to catch up on my Star Wars movies. Don’t tell Baby Yoda.
Tonight’s episode of The Mandalorian was the best one yet. Catch up now!
I cannot even. I love this. I didn’t even think of Baby Yoda as an inspiration.
The last line really makes me think about how we have all responded to this tiny, expressive creature. Cool turn there.
Jennifer,
I read and reread this at a loss trying to uncover the mystery of the baby and the saga and thinking about green eyes but the frog-eating threw me off, and then I was thinking about animals…the allusions were lost on me until I read the comments and then, well, oh yeah! It is fascinating how allusions and references work with each of our schema. I love the last line especially: “The asset captured, revealed only we at the end.” The phrase “revealed only we at the end” has me still trying to puzzle this out. But I can enjoy and make perfect sense of the ears and force!
Sarah
Baby Yoda is the sweetest character on a new show called The Mandalorian, which is streaming on Disney Plus. He was a surprise, in fact, Disney has no merch for him at Christmas time so as not to give the character away ahead of time. SW fans have fallen in love.
My students and I are reading an outstanding novel called Ghost Boys by Jewell Parker Rhodes. It’s a must-read for upper grade students. The main character is Jerome who gets shot and killed by a police officer. Jerome narrates both in his life and in his death. Incredible!! So I was motivated and inspired to write a Skinny poem for Jerome.
Officer Moore shot and killed Jerome over a toy gun
Fear
Induced
Threat.
Kids
Fear
Police
Under-served
Unprotected
Fear
Jerome!!!!! Shot and killed over a toy gun, Officer Moore?
Powerful—the move from statement to question. Our world is so changed by the fear we feel.
Stacey – Since my mom and most of my family grew up in Ferguson, you can bet that your poem took me once again right back to Michael Brown. What a horror. I am glad that kids have a teacher like you to guide them through literature that addresses such complex pieces of our lives. Your handling of the first and last lines was spot-on. The question at the end echoes in a haunting way. I have to read Ghost Boys…thanks! Susie
Stacey, how inspiring to write a poem for your character in your novel! I think this is a great idea for students – and I am anxious to read this book. I love that you ended on a question that should be ridiculous but is, unfortunately, all too real today. I also like that you used fear as your repetitive word.
Your repeated line is especially effective as it never feels forced into the writing. This would be a great activity for students. We read this book last year as one of our nominated award books, and your piece focuses on the power in the words. I especially like how you rewrote the last line.
Stacey,
Jewel Parker Rhodes gave me her ARC of Ghost Boys at NCTE. It was a generous gesture. Before I could finish the book, it traveled to students. I ended up giving it to one who loved the book, and she’s the kind of student who needed a special gesture herself.
My favorite part of your skinny is lines 1 and 11. WOW! The change in punctuation and word order packs a punch. That question mark leaves the question hanging w/ us. When will these heinous killings stop?
BTW: Are you familiar w/ Eve Ewing’s collection “1919, Poems”? The last one is about Emmett Till, “I Saw Emmett Till at the Supermarket Last Night.” It’s an amazing poem.
Oh, wow. Found it here: https://poets.org/poem/i-saw-emmett-till-week-grocery-store Thank you, Joy, for your beating heart. I love the idea of using this poem form as reflection on a story or book.
Thanks so much, Allison!
Thank you for sharing this!! Wow!!!!
Stacey,
I so agree about the novel Ghost Boys — so good on its own but also welcomes inquiry into Emmett Till and the bridge from historical to contemporary injustice. The key here for me is the syntax, and I think this form really helps poets (students, teachers) look at how syntax emphasizes different subjects and objects, especially in this poem. The direct address at the end — , Officer Moore? — along with the punctuation resounds.
Sarah
I love this, Stacey. Ghost Boys is amazing. Last year I read it with 8th graders. We put all the desks in a circle. We just read and talked through the whole book. The kids pushed themselves to see other people’s viewpoints. The conversations were life changing for my kids. We then Skyped with JPR- my kids were in awe. You need to send her this poem!
Thanks Mo! I will take that suggestion!
Stacey,
Thank you for this heartbreaking poem. Have you read I am Alfonso Jones? It’s a graphic novel with the same premise written by Tony Medina who Glenda attributed the skinny poem to in the introduction. I highly recommend adding it to your classroom library if not.
Thanks for your feedback and the recommendation! Much appreciated.
I found inspiration in a rare quiet moment of reading in the bustle of this last week of school before winter break. Thank you, wonderful students, for managing to stick with this one part of our routine, even as the rest seems to have fallen away.
Are they really reading?
Books
Friends
Gossip
Airpods
Books
Phones
Snaps
Likes
Books
They are reading. Really!
Jen, I love the change from the initial question to the final exciting conclusion. I love seeing the same thing happen in my classroom!
Jen– You captured that last week before break student flurry of activity…and they were READING!!! Yes! Wonderful. Kids are cool! Their teacher is too! Thanks, Susie
Jen, this is adorable! Nothing warms our hearts more than knowing they’re really reading! Ahhhhh!!! Love it!
Jen, those are all the things that are important to our students…..fortunately, because of teachers like you who allow choice in reading, books are still on that list. I like that it was your repetitive word.
I love that they’re still reading and how you can celebrate it. When we give them the time, they fall in love with the act. Your first and last lines work well to bookend the piece.
Jen,
This skinny is a wonderful reminder that reading takes myriad forms. I wrote about this on my blog yesterday, so your skinny poem is timely for me. Love how your opening question turns into a declaration in the last line.
I love how you turn around the question into an answer that really encompasses all of the reading they ARE doing. I like the repetition of books here because they do come back to those when given time and a routine.
Fun use of the form to celebrate your students.
Jen,
I love the book ends in this skinny poem — of the distractions that come between and also lead to the shared experience of reading!
Sarah
Glenda — I LOVE that Hopper painting and having your “Skinny” as a part of that image was quite cool. You were so smooth with the re-placing of “alone.” I really struggled with this part of my process today… very hard for me to slice down to those effective bare bones of single words and to rearrange the 1st and last to deliver so effectively as you did. That’s why you’re the boss this week! 🙂 It’s been a real learning week for me…the wordplay kept me scrambling, and I appreciate the challenge of that. Thank you for all your good mentoring and feedback. Susie
Susie,
Boss for a week? I’ll take it! We know this group gets to #verselove their own way, yes? I’m just happy some folks joined in and tried the different forms. I always thanked students for pretending I was in charge of the class and graciously doing what I asked. ?
THE MOMENT OF DISSOLUTION
Unearthed: eighty-one stashed pages he wrote to her —
betrayal;
gobsmacked;
cloyingly
prurient —
betrayal.
Dis-avowed,
violated.
Redefined.
Betrayal.
Stashed eighty-one pages he wrote to her. Un-earthed.
©Susie Morice
Oh, Susie. What an experience! Your poem validates what many have been taught, “You can’t do wrong and get by!” I do pray that verbalizing the perfidy helps you see that you’re not responsible for the betrayal of others. Believe that though you can’t forget what happened, you eventually will be able to release the pain by forgiving and moving on. Your experience will and courage to write will encourage others to do the same and experience similar healing.
Ouch! You packed an entire story in very few words. What a terrible event and a powerful poem.
Susie, we have something else in common unless my assumption is incorrect! If I’m correct then guess what, those suckahs were never meant to be in our lives for our latter years! I would hate to know anyone is married and miserable!
Life and love don’t include jerks! Love and hugs to you. I loved every bombshell word!
Thanks, Stacey. I totally agree… my life has been a thousand percent better once that mess was behind me. Whew. It was an incredible jolt at the moment, but one thing I am is resilient…plus I have terrific friends. I count you in that arithmetic! Hugs right back! Susie
Susie, I wrote my first comment before reading the others. I didn’t want to assume and be wrong. It seems as though several of us have discovered another commonality.
Susie, Stacey said it perfectly. Your words are like bullets hitting their marks. Wow. I’m not sure why, but your use of “un-earthed” really hit me hard.
Oooooooh, Susie, I’ve been in this moment……and isn’t it funny how we go from thinking it’s the worst thing that ever happened to us to realizing it’s the best thing? There is a much more fulfilling life beyond the lies and betrayal, and what a blessing. I like betrayal as the repeating word. I also like gobsmacked – there’s no moment like that moment of realization. Then, the horizon of truth and freedom! And the assurance that writing and sharing with others is a form of healing through this process.
Unearthed works so perfectly for an instance that seems unearthly. The repetition of betrayal shows the continued reminder. Each word carries so much weight.
Susie,
There’s a mystery in this skinny, and I want to know more. Who is she? Of course, it could be so many people, and perhaps that’s part of the beauty here—the universality for those who share such an experience. “Gobsmacked” and “purloined” are so specific and vivid. I sense the shock of the “betrayal.”
Susie,
I tend to get the writing challenge going each morning with a few other early risers and then come back later before family time to catch up. When I read the poems early, I am one of the first to puzzle through implied subjects and speakers, but when I read poems later, I benefit from reading the comments and interactions and personal responses. Today, I want to thank you for sharing this skinny with such authority and creating the space for others to share, too. What a gift a poem can be to resonate and unite and comfort. And so rarely do poets get to see the impact of their words on readers. This is another amazing feature of this community.
The word that resonates most deeply with me is “redefined.” As in your relationship but also in how we have agency in redefining our path, the next steps.
Love,
Sarah
This poem has a 6-word memoir feel to it–SO MUCH story in so few words. “Cloyingly prurient”–each word here carries a wheelbarrow of weight. I also appreciate the “dissolution” in the title echoed in dis-avowed. And that hyphen! It emphasizes the “vow” that was “dissed.” I can read your poems again and again and keep discovering your careful choices. This poem hurts. Thank you for writing it.
Thank you, Allison, so much. I felt with so few words in a “skinny” that I had to squeeze the very pulp out of every word. It was a tough poem format for me, and I really appreciate that you caught those squeezed spots. I’m so glad you were here again this busy month! Love, Susie
Everyone Needs to be Rescued
Dogs don’t have time to play with toys in the puppy mill.
Love
Needed.
Laps
Empty.
Home
Needed.
Affection
Unknown.
Rescue
Needed.
In the puppy mill, dogs don’t have time to play with toys.
We adopted our miniature dachshund-terrier mix, Molly-doodle, after a completely unplanned visit to an animal shelter two years ago. She was abandoned there when she became too old to breed. Her house-training is iffy at best, but she owns our hearts. One of the most telling moments was when we brought her home. She had no idea what to do with the ball we bought her. She just watched it roll past. She never learned how to play.
(I found this to be the toughest form to write this week. Obviously, I am very wordy!)
Thank you Glenda, for the wonderful forms and prompts you gave us this month.
I look forward to each month’s challenges and to reading everyone’s work. The five -day challenges have rekindled my writing. Thank you for that.
Gayle — I shared some of the struggle today as well and said the very same thing to myself this morning “I am very wordy!” But hey, I really enjoyed the rescue here! I love doggy sentiments…I’m sitting here with my big OLD beast at my feet – he’s snoring away. We do all need a little rescue! Thanks, Susie
Gayle, you had me at Dogs – – I guess I never thought about dogs not learning to play with toys – so I’m glad you shared this part of Molly Doodle’s fabric of her life. I’m glad she has love now. You are the only toy she wants……and that’s okay.
Your piece tugs at my heart, as does the added background of Molly-doodle. The initial image is impactful and the interior lines read so naturally. Little do we know that when we bring them home, they’re the ones who rescue us!
Gayle,
As mom to two rescue pups, I love this skinny poem. The repetition of “rescue” makes me think about the ways pups save their humans, too. This is reinforced by the structure of the poem, first referencing the dogs and next the owner’s empty laps.
Our Snug won’t play w/ toys either. I often wonder why. I do know he was abused before joining our family.
Hello writing buddies. My husband and I will be celebrating our 53rd wedding anniversary this month. Though neither of us is skinny anymore :-), this skinny poem cuts the fat and expresses the core features of our marriage. So, I write today’s poem in reflection and honor of that special event in 1966.
It’s Worth the Work
Marriage can be a lot of work, but it’s worth it.
Celebrate
Procreate
Trait
Debate
Celebrate
Collaborate
Date
Remate
Celebrate
Marriage can be a lot of work, but it’s worth it.
Anna,
Congratulations! WOW! 53 years marriage is an impressive accomplishment, and w/ this skinny and through other poems you r written, we witness your steadfast love and devotion. You deserve a long celebration. Love the “remate” at the end. ❤️?
Hi, Anna — Congratulations to you and your hubby! Whoohoo! Dem’s a lotta years! Good for you. This is a such a celebratory poem…quite FAT with celebration! I have to laugh, as I wrote the antithesis of this one today. Oh dear, oops. I was not so lucky. But good for you…my folks celebrated 52 years before they passed, and it is indeed quite a marker. Have a great December of celebrations all around! Susie
Anna, what an accomplishment! Congratulations to you. I am loving the choices of the repeat words today, and finding such inspiration in these. You do have much to celebrate.
Congratulations! You’ve both found true life partners, I was not so fortunate, YET! I lasted 29 years with a fool before divorcing him. So basically I can survive ANYTHING! Lmao! I love your word choices because they pack so much love in such a skinny poem. Much love and blessings to you both!
Congratulations on a 53rd anniversary. Your first/last lines sum up the celebrations and the hard work to make it all work. I appreciate that procreate and remate begin and end the journey.
Anna,
I love how this poem looks on the screen with the words leaning forward and toward fifty-four. The words that resonate for me are “Date” and “Remate” as that seems to me, at just over 20 years in, the key in keeping our vows vibrant.
Congratulations!
Sarah
Can’t get anything around you, Sarah. Those words, date and remate are the keys to our marriage. While we don’t have a “date” night, we do plan time to spend together, travel together, and share meals together. And, after some of those debates, we’ve had to remate, reminding ourselves why we got married in the first place and why we believe remaining together as couple is worth the effort.
The truth is, the whole poem is could be a refrain that encapsulates what must be repeated.
Thanks again for inviting us to share both personal and professional experiences and observations in poetry!
Glenda,
The word that stands out for me is “muted.” There is a sense of the painter or the viewer being complicit in some way of the subjects being silenced. And then, I think of the backstory that lead the couple into the diner of the Nighthawks painting that I have always wondered about. The “muted” makes me think of a new backstory for them.
Thank you for helping me “see” this painting anew.
Sarah
An Ode to a Silent Disco
Fire flies dance in the dark, a dissonant chorus.
Strangers
mingle,
jive,
bob.
Strangers
hum,
troon,
trill.
Strangers
huddle,
tune,
coalesce.
Strangers dance in the dark, harmony in motion.
Sarah,
Ooo! This skinny takes me to my grandparents wooded property in Missouri where I chased fire flies by an old chicken coop. Your skinny is a wonderful metaphor of dance. Love the alliteration in “train, trill, tune.” And then magically, “strangers coalesce” to become something more intimate.
Glenda — I giggle to think you could’ve been at my home back then! HA! Fireflies everywhere! Susie
Sarah, your careful selection of auditory words makes this poem sing!
“hum/troon/trill”
Then, the move from “strangers” to “coalesce” demonstrates the power of music to create harmony among strangers.
Sarah – I am instantly back in my childhood on a summer night when the fireflies were everywhere in the bushes out on the farm. We used to catch them and put them in mason jars with holes in the lids, wear them as rings (kinda gross, I know), and then let them all go when we went to bed. I LOVE the idea of it being a “silent dance.” How perfect an image. And you captured the “huddle…coalesce.” You poem has a tremendous calming effect…harmony, indeed. How finessed you were with this Skinny. Susie
What a terrific metaphor for a disco – – I never thought of fireflies being like this, but your imagery and words have drawn a whole new picture of a forest full of fireflies as a disco! I love your imagination and way of seeing the world.
Such a beautiful first line – I love that it gives us imagery and sound in such brevity. The verb choices make this piece move.
Ice Skating
Well-used cold and ice
Sliding
Gliding
Wobbly
Chilly
Sliding
Firming
Faster
Spinning
Sliding
Cold ice used well
Debra,
I love the movement of this skinny poem on ice. I have not been on skates in years but the glide is definitely the goal (in between all the wobbles). It is one of the gifts of the cold!
Sarah
Debra,
I’ve never ice skated, but your poem creates a vision of rom coms in my head, which always seem to include an ice skating scene filled w/ sliding and gliding. I love the way “wobble” breaks the rhythm the assonance in “sliding / gliding” creates.
The use of rhyme and alliteration enhances the images created by your words. You can almost feel the motion of the skater as you read!
How perfect, Debra! I spent part of the morning shoveling ice off my driveway. So, though I wasn’t “skating,” I was doing a fair bit of “skating.” LOL! Had I been in skates, the “wobbly” would have been an apt descriptor for both of us. Fun! Susie
You make me want to go ice skating, though I think those days for me are over at my age. This brings to mind the Peanuts gang – – everybody having such fun on their blades. Perfect timing for ice skating!
Your word choices (sliding, gliding) mimic the idea of the movement on ice. I appreciate that you are able to give us the love and wear and tear of the ice in just 5 words at the beginning too.
Hope you discover your way in life
Extending
Connections
Knowledge
Gratitude
Extending
Consciousness
Succor
Grace
Extending
Your life is a way you discover hope
Stefani,
The repetition of “extending” reinforces how important relationships are in finding one’s way in life. Nice turn of phrase in lines one and eleven.
Stefani,
The imagery of extending — that reaching toward and for — is so beautiful. And that the final word is hope makes me feel like we all have or will get there.
Sarah
I resonate to the first and last lines. The repetition of extending carries through beautifully. (And I will be using the word succor in conversation at Christmas! What a great word!)
Stephanie – You really nailed the reorganizing of the first and last lines — so effective! I admire that sense of support and nurturing that rings in your voice here. Susie
Your hope for discovery at the beginning changes beautifully into the discovery of hope at the end. I love that the most. Extending is a beautiful word to repeat – it has a softness, as do your other choices here too.
I really love the way that the first line is almost that “good luck” sentiment that COULD be almost sarcastic. It sounds like the thing we’re tempted to say when we think someone is lost.
By the end, the poem seems to suggest that the journey itself, life, is the destination. Life and our experiences being us hope. I really like that idea. Thank you for this poem.
I’m going to try to get back at this later today, but Glenda, the idea of focus on anything skinny during the holiday food fest makes me smile!
I had in mind word economy and not waistlines when creating the prompts. Promise! I figured after tackling the bop folks would appreciate the contrast.
Glenda,
Thank you for your ideas this week, I’ve been reading but haven’t had a chance to create or respond. I remember someone else mentioned word economy earlier in the week–this phrasing has been running through mind and I cannot stop connecting it to texting and how we feed off of this in our digital world.
The best part of your skinny, Glenda, is the tone and mood those few words set for the reader. The experience of Nighthawks, captured. I don’t know if the title refers to the painting or a book — possibly that by Bill Bowers & Sandee Hart? But, I know that the teaching experience left the author with these feelings.
I’m sticking with science this week — a personal challenge. Yesterday was the anniversary of Orville & Wilbur’s famous Kittyhawk flight.
Kitty Hawk
December 17, 1903
Nine…ten…eleven
seconds
of
Flight —
soaring
seconds
over
sandy
dunes
seconds
…twelve groundbreaking moments
Your repeating word is an amazing choice as I sit here now thinking of having flown for hours this past summer to Europe and recently to Baltimore. 116 years ago, mere seconds of flight took the world by storm, yet now we are aloft for long trips. I sit here less than an hour from a HUGE airport – Atlanta – and marvel at the difference a century and a couple of brothers made! Thank you for honoring them today. I read yesterday that a fateful coin toss determined which one flew.
Linda,
I love your science theme this week. I’ve learned lots from your poems, and this one is another gem. It reminds me of the Colum McCann novel “TransAtlantic.”
My title refers to the painting. The poem is about both the substance of the painting and my class’s experience studying it. I used words the students generated in our discussion of the painting. When I use art in a lesson, we begin w/ a silent “art walk.” We often had food in the room since the kids took the class right after lunch.
The emphasis on seconds really helps to show how extraordinary this event was. I like the count up of seconds at the beginning with the ending of twelve – everything in between reads so quickly, just like those seconds passing.
Waiting
Trembling in a rescue cage, you stood waiting
terrified
starved
matted
betrayed
terrified
neglected
abandoned
abused
terrified
you stood – awaiting rescue
-Kim Johnson
*inspired by true events in the life of a now loved Schnoodle named Boo Radley
Kim,
This skinny could easily describe my Snug, a schnauzer. He was abandoned on the side of a country road. We adopted him from the Idaho Falls animal shelter. Thought we were getting a poodle until his first trip to the groomer. Snug is my soul mate. We are both rather melancholy by nature.
Such a powerful image you’ve constructed in your poem. I love the way repeating that one word, terrified, creates such a wallop.
Kim, I’m so glad your Boo has a home with you because the feel of the words in your poem make me feel afraid and insecure. What a miniature portrait you’ve painted.
Kim,
There is such an interesting juxtaposition of words with “rescue cage.” I never quite noticed that before this context. The rescue cage, at first, indicates a state of rescue and yet the “terrified/starved/matted” continues in the cage. There is still waiting for.
Very moving,
Sarah
Kim — I can just see and feel your Boo at that moment when you knew you two were going to be family. You captured the “terrified” with so much heart. You are a good dog mommy… more reason to love you! You poem might look “skinny,” but it is a big, fat wonderful squeezer-hug of an image. Thanks! Susie
You’ve captured the situation of so many of these animals. The choice to repeat terrified emphasizes how the dog must feel; I think betrayed hits home the most. There is power in each of these words. (We rescued our present dog too.)
I love, love, love writing skinnys. Thanks for a great week of super inspirational prompts, mentor poems and poetry discussion. I’ve loved it all. Wish I could keep up better with the response. #working on it.
Glenda, thank you for all these new forms this week! It has been fun – as always. Thank you for challenging us in new ways and stretching us. I look forward to writing A skinny poem today (ah, the irony of December poem forms). I see a favorite book title by one of our own in your opening line and a flip in closing. Love your word choice and the mood brings the same feeling I had when my brother and I would visit our mother in her final days in December 4 years ago this month. I can so relate to the angry and isolated and afraid feelings of those moments.