Welcome to day 2 of the October open write for educators! We are so glad you are here. Read the inspiration, process, and mentor poem below, and then scroll to the bottom to compose your poem. Please respond to at least three other poets.
Inspiration
The term 20/20 vision is used to express normal visual acuity (the clarity or sharpness of vision) measured at a distance of 20 feet.
If you have 20/20 vision, you can see clearly at 20 feet what should normally be seen at that distance. Some of us wear corrective lenses to acquire such clarity of vision.
Process
Let’s write a twenty-word poem about something we now see more clearly than we did this time last year.
The topic can be serious, frivolous, or just fun!
Anna’s Poem
Hair has always been there.
Some have hair to spare.
Ladies in India sell it.
Ladies in America buy it.
Your Turn
Now, scroll to the comment section below to write your own poem. (This is a public space, so you may use only your first name or initials depending on your privacy preferences.) Not ready? That’s okay. Read the poems already posted for more inspiration. Ponder your own throughout the day. Return later. And, if the prompt does not work for you, that is fine. All writing is welcome. Just write something. Also, please be sure to respond to at least three writers. Oh, and a note about drafting: Since we are writing in short bursts, we all understand (and even welcome) the typos and partial poems that remind us we are human and that writing is always becoming. If you’d like to invite other teachers to write with us, tell them to subscribe.
Our Host
Anna J. Small Roseboro, a National Board Certified Teacher has over four decades of experience in public, private schools and colleges, mentoring early career educators, facilitating leadership institutes, in five states. She has served a director of summer programs and chair of her English department, published six textbooks based on these experiences, and was awarded Distinguished Service Awards by the California Association of Teachers of English and the National Council of Teachers of English. Her poetry appears in several issues of FINE LINES: An Anthology of Poetry and Prose (2015-2020); was in her own publication EXPERIENCE POEMS AND PICTURES: Poetry that Paints/Pictures that Speak (2019) and will be featured in CENTERED IN CHRIST, a devotional coming out this Fall. Her new textbook PLANNING WITH PURPOSE: A Handbook for New College Teachers published by Rowman and Littlefield also is due out this Fall.
I loved this prompt! I remember Emily D once wrote a poem about strawberries, I think, and related them to jewels—I used a similar idea to represent my blueberry bush dilemma from this summer!
Dried stems poke through
desolate clay. one
green leaf:
hope.
Believe in it—
Relocate, nurture,
mulch,
Wait.
Reap delicious
sapphires
Rachelle,
Oooo! I love blueberries. I am gradually removing a large (and dying) stand of shrubs in my front yard and will be replacing them with blueberries. I love your middle stanza in particular, with it’s mantra of hope.
Rachelle,
I love what you did here. I am in awe of those who can garden, without killing everything! I bet those blueberries tasted fabulous.
Beautiful and unexpected, Rachel!
The image of desolate clay and one green leaf is powerful to me, I love the contrast. Good luck to your little blueberry!
Oh, Rachelle, congratulations on your stick-to-it-iveness with your dried stems. I love the Wait. sitting by itself, and, of course, the use of “sapphires” shows how precious and valuable they are for a blueberry lover and someone who waited so long for them.
I read it twice with great pleasure! I love the pacing of the ….wait…before the sapphires arrive!
Apology
I belly up to the table
tuck the napkin
under my yapper
ready to feast
on crow
and
humble
pie.
Allison,
Fantastic poem about apologies.
Yes, that is how it feels at time.
Allison. I always love your writing. Thank you for sharing this today—a learned lesson.
Allison, your title is perfect for leading us through this fun, but serious poem. I love the word “yapper” here.
Yes! Crow and humble pie- such difficult entrees. As uncomfortable as that bad dream of standing naked in town square….love the bellying up – like time to confess.
Oh, Allison — This is just so terrific… so perfect…that doggone crow is a tough mouthful and you’ve used just the words to sculpt that feeling… “yapper”…. yeah, I’ve been there; “belly up” … yup, I feel it. What a witty way of addressing these “apology” moments. You are so good! Susie
A warm, sincere thanks to all who visited OPEN WRITE these first two days of our OCTOBER writing, those who contributed poems, to each who responded to the poems these past two days. I, particularly, appreciate the kind words telling of the ways the prompts challenged you to think and write, and how my sample poems spoke to you.
We know more challenges are to come and it looks like you’re ready!
Anna, thank you for welcoming us to this space this month! Sunday was a wallop of a day for me, and I was ready for bed when I remembered I hadn’t yet written a poem. I was relieved when I found your 20/20 prompt. I can write 20 words, I told myself!
I love how this group brings us together and lifts us up. Thank you for your leadership in this. <3
Snacks
It’s so dangerous
working from home,
grazing on Pringles and Twinkies.
The return to my calorie-less classroom
saved my life!
Shaun, I totally agree! Now I stash a snack or two in my classroom and find myself not even in the mood to eat.
Oh, yes, thank God for some normality in that department, Shaun. I burst out laughing with this line:
Oh, my goodness (I didn’t even remember Twinkies!)
Shaun, I like how you place “dangerous” alongside the frivolous Pringles and Twinkies. YES! Those silly-named sweets are out to get us! You made me GRIN!
Shaun — Boy, this is surely true…home is way too close to the ol’ fridge. Funny… yet waaaay true! Susie
Anna, what a fun challenge! Very tricky to write only twenty words. I honed in on my trail running practice which I took up during this pandemic – I run with a girlfriend once a week, and it is moving therapy!
trail trekking
fearlessly finding footing
gentle jogging
walk rocks, roots
cautiously crossing creek
billowy breezes
nature nurtures
wonder in woods
I love your sound exploration here, Maureen. You bring us right into the Wild with you. I also admire your initiative in taking up running!
You inspire me to get back out there! I miss my quiet solitude in nature! Those billowy breezes and wonder in woods bring back all of what I love most about walking and running.
Maureen, what a fun way to write 20 words–in alliterative phrases. These are beautiful. My son-in-law and daughter have been trail running lately too. It sounds like “moving therapy.”
Maureen — I really love the way you handled the 20 words…I hadn’t thought to do something so lyrical and lovely. I love alliteration! You gave us a fistful of fun. Susie
Hello writing partners. Because this prompt limited us to 20 words, I didn’t give details. But take a look.shorturl.at/rvAR0 and https://rb.gy/94uiqe
In many cases, the women DONATE their hair as a religious sacrifice; but the hair is later sold. The collected hair is auctioned, and companies earn millions. Does it matter? I see it, but don’t understand it.
I see this as mattering, Anna. Thanks for adding more info.
LESSON PLANNING
Planning for hybrid teaching looked like
what planning for in-person teaching should.
Intentional, targeted planning and
data-driven conversations require time.
YES!!!
Truthful, excellent poem here.
You have captured this strange time of teaching quite beautifully in just 20 words!
We have learned that over the past year, haven’t we, Donnetta? I love the last two lines–yes, indeed, those conversations require time.
Too many funerals in the last two weeks.
Love ?
Binding people together
Near or far
Hearts feel the love
Strong grief
Comes from loving hard
Hearts still feel love
Deanna, so sorry for your losses and for the grief that carries on . Thank you for sharing the message of love and bolding “still” as the love persists, too. So much in this word economy.
The line “strong grief comes from loving hard” grabs me. I feel love and sadness mingled so delicately together in this poem. Thank you, I enjoyed reading it.
DeAnna,
I know how deeply you feel things and this poem expresses that really well. I’m so sorry for the persistent losses. Hugs.
So sorry. The frequency of funerals occurring have become a very sad reality in light of the pandemic. Love you last line…”Hearts still feel love”
Beautiful, sad poem. So sorry for your grief! “Comes from loving hard” – so true
DeAnna, I join the others here who offer words of consolation. Your closing stanza says it all.
Visceral. I feel this poem. My heart goes out to you, friend ❤️
DeAnna, I’m so sorry for the grief of the last weeks. I like your poem that reminds the reader of the stronger strength of love–across miles and across the pain. Love
Unlearning
By: Emily Yamasaki
Home-body culture
Bed, desk, couch
Bed, desk, couch
Easy to learn
Difficult to unlearn
Emily,
That is so true.
I really did struggle going back into the building.
Oh, Emily. Such truth in these words and the repetition. The unlearned is so much more difficult indeed. But I think I prefer the home-body way–now what?
OMG…this is so true for so many. We teachers, especially of younger students, are having to help students, who were remote most of the time last year, to relearn how to do school..with love and grace, of course.
Emily — I surely understand that difficulty! The repetition…indeed, “difficult to unlearn.” Truth here! Susie
Absolutely! Very difficult to unlearn the bed, desk, couch routine!
Hello Emily,
This is so true! The sheer repetition of seemingly insignificant actions had lasting consequences. Your repetition of “bed, desk, couch” describes it perfectly.
Truth.
We were all pandemic home-bodies, weren’t we? I’m still in a process of unlearning too. For me, it’s bed-dining room table desk-couch. Glad you are in the process of being able to unlearn.
I love this prompt, and the poems I have read have expressed many of my 20/20 feels.
The nest may be empty,
but the heart is full,
and the mind remembers
love is what binds us together.
Heather,
We were on the same wavelength today. I love yours! The “heart is full,” but sometimes still yearns. <3
Hi Heather. I really liked this prompt, but I couldn’t find a way to bring positivity to my poem. I really admire the way you have done it in your poem. I love the full heart!
Heather,
Your poem really spoke to me today. I have three children out of the house and a fourth on his way. The like “the heart is full” hits the nail on the head. Thanks for sharing today.
Oh, Heather! I feel how you feel. My daughter is 3 hours away, but constantly in my thoughts and heart every day.
“the mind remembers” – yes, the empty nest is hard, but love wins!
Sending so much love to you and yours! I love the two lines ending with empty and full. Thank you for sharing!
Heather, what a good news poem about empty-nesthood! Yes, full hearts, memories, and love. Perfect.
A solution is rendered
But too many refuse it.
So the crisis deepens and
More fall ill.
More are lost.
Oy. So much truth here. Trying to teach literature AND the value of wearing a mask properly. You captured the sad frustration perfectly.
That repetition of “more” is so profound here…the more is the crisis, the many persist.
Way too true, Katighe! It’s painful to watch, heartbreaking, and at the same time stunning. Susie
Sad and so true! My tears began to flow when I heard of the death of a pregnant woman and her unborn child.
I love how you honed in on our national problem – eloquently, in just 20 words. “More are lost” – has several meanings, I think, which I love!
Your strong message reminds me of part of a buddhist chant. “We will protect all who are weaker than ourselves”.
I’ve seen a fearful and ominous lack of this sentiment. Thank you for sharing your poem.
Wow, in such a few words, you have captured the sad reality of this season we are in.
20/20
By Mo Daley 10/17/21
When life is wickedly interrupted
We learn, through tragedy,
Who and what is most important
Then we move on, steadfastly
Yes, Mo!! Love this! Wickedly interrupted…exactly!
I see the “w” as motif in these lines and the shape of that letter as the movement you notice and urge for us…Indeed, move on.
Hi, Mo! I wish the moving on were more steadfast for me. The interruption still has me reeling. Less and less, but still… Hugs, Susie
Hello Mo,
Understanding the value of things/people/actions is extremely 20/20 this past year. I love how your use of “we” brings us into the poem as we “move on, steadfastly” – well said.
Love the resilience you’ve expressed here – “Then we move on, steadfastly.” Very poignant 20 words!!
Boy, did I need these words in this moment, Mo. I am going to cling to that steadfastness for a bit. Thank you for this.
“..Learning, through tragedy,”
Oof! Would love to turn this into a writing prompt. Love it! Thanks for sharing this poem.
20/20, indeed, Mo. Your word choice is really powerful here. There have been numerous interruptions over the past year, and your poem can speak to all of us, with good advice. Thank you.
Thank you for the lovely prompt. I love distilling ideas down to the essentials.
Years of loving dependence.
Now one in another town.
The other nearly a man.
Life of a mother.
Cara,
Motherhood, the job that when done well can leave you feeling alone. You have done a wonderful job here conveying that here.
I feel this deeply. It is hard to let go. A simple but powerful poem.
Cara, you’ve beautifully captured the bittersweet essence of successful mothering. I’m right there with you.
Cara, I definitely feel that heart squeeze feeling parenthood brings when reading your poem. Proud and sad at once. You’ve done a great job conveying that is so few words!
One of the poems we read in class a few weeks ago dealt with a mother’s love and, ultimately, their lack of control. A certain student of mine recognized this theme when many others struggled to, for what it’s worth ?
Cara, beautiful. I love how that last line sums up so many thoughts and feelings. Beautiful.
Thank you Anna for this prompt. I love prompts that make me consider deeply each word!
Blood to Wine
guilt sinews
wrapped tight
chafe
but You
invite me
to leave
My Fault
on this table
breeze cools
sweaty palms
Yes, Emily! Every word you chose leaves a punch and a sweet relief at the end!
Emily,
There are so many subtle meanings that can be drawn from this. Way to squeeze so much out of so few words. I especially like your first stanza:
Emily,
Being limited in words or syllables use does make the writer stop and pick each word wisely. You have done a fantastic job of that with your poem today.
I am intrigued by the story behind these captivating words, Emily! “You invite me to leave” – oh my, a novel surely lives in that line.
I read this poem earlier today, but I just came back to it now and noticed the title which totally gave me a new interpretation. Powerful!
Wow, Emily, this is a poem with a rich story. So many rich lines like “on this table”, “but You invite me to leave” and the title “Blood to Wine.”
Thanks Anna! Love your prompts. Your hair poem is simple and so thought provoking.
Here’s my attempt at 20 words.
Alone
By Nancy White
I realized I am resilient
Not that I’m that brilliant
But like a standing stone
I’m firmly planted, all alone.
You created a clear image in only 20 words! I love it. Great metaphor!
Nancy, I feel both power and melancholy in these lines, which makes me notice the paradox of alone, especially alongside the all. Hmm, I am pondering this deeply.
Nancy — I really loved the word choices here…”…standing stone/I’m firmly planted, all alone. There’s real strength here. Susie
Nancy, I love how the resiliency stands prominently in your piece, much like the stones. I’ve just been looking at stone circles (vacation dreaming) and, while they each stand firmly planted alone, there is still a gathering, an all.
Nancy, you learned some rich lessons during this past year. Beautiful!
Anna, your prompt gave me a chance to exhale into my poem and let it flow. Oh, how I wanted to keep going. It was hard to stop at 20 but it worked. Thank you! Love the mentor poem. Hair is such a complexity!
Don’t Say Those Words To Me!
Learning wasn’t
LOST
Students gained 21st century
Tech skills and
Resilience
Now, they play harder
And write on paper less
©Stacey L. Joy, October 17, 2021
Great points. I think we need to spend more time on what we have all gained during the last year and a half. Thank you!
This is so true. Too many focus on the wrong things; your poem reminds us of the important lessons of the past year.
Love this, Stacey. Working hard to reframe such statements when they cross my eyes or ears. Flipping it to what was gained is brilliant.
Stacey — I kinda want to shout out “Damn Straight!” Strong voice here — no surprise, you wild thang you! I really do, though, just love the exclamation of this from the title to the wordplay on the final line with “write on paper less.” You are witty, my friend, but more importantly, you are the voice of strength…strength in a teacher that was not about to let this “opportunity” go by without redirecting kids to gain and flourish! Good for you, girl! Love this. Susie
Stacey, this should be shared more broadly. There is no LOST, just learning something different…not currently on standardized tests.
You keep good learning going. Our students will JUST FINE because they have teachers like you who see the best in them.
What a great take on those words that everyone is saying! This is good for me, as I have been guilty. I love the title, and the focus on what the students gained. I love the “Now” lines too. So much truth here, Stacey!
and touching letters
left touch then right
and dancing across keys
twirling box steps
into turns of words:
poem-ing thumbs
Sarah, it’s always a treat to read your poems and see what your creative mind does with our prompts. You captured “poem-ing thumbs” with perfection! I’d love to see a visual artist recreate this poem on a canvas.
?
Sarah — I love the “poem-ing thumbs” that dance…you captured the moment for sure. Lovely to think of the near whimsy of creativity tickling across the keys… and POOF you have a poem! 🙂 Hugs, Susie
Sarah,
Your poem reminded of how my perspective on writing poem changed very much in the past year – thanks to YOU and this group. I love how your poem starts in the middle of the process and doesn’t really stop.
Sarah, you amaze me with the myriad ways you can bring in DANCE, either literally, metaphorically or rhythmically. In this poem you’ve done all three!
Ohhh! That twirling box steps of words forming is a beauty, Sarah. I can hear someone calling the dance steps for those poem-ing thumbs.
Sarah, I love the beginning with “and” as if the prompt caught you in the middle of the dance of “poem-ing thumbs” Lovely!
Masks
reminding
my students
daily
to cover
their noses
tells me
they need
more
data analysis
training
or
empathy
or
both
Scott,
Sadly, many of us are experiencing that same issue. Nicely done.
Oh, masks. What they say in their presence and absence. What they cover up. I see here that you can see through the masks to see “empathy”.
Scott, I feel this! My 5th graders are mostly able to keep their noses covered. But what’s so frustrating is when some pull their masks all the way down to answer questions or share something aloud! WTH!
Great to see this mask issue as a need for data analysis training and empathy. So simple yet of critical necessity.
I feel as though every poem I have read today is hitting all of my feels of the last few weeks. Simply put, but it hits hard.
Yes. Especially those final lines — “more data analysis or empathy or both.” Both, more likely. Thanks for capturing this.
Scott — I sure do see this so clearly…the masking and non-masking mess. Mostly, I love the “need/more/data analysis”… you’ve sure got that right… and empathy. I had a rather deflating conversation with a clerk in the local hardware store here who refused to wear a mask (despite there being a mandate in my area) because “I don’t have to,” she proclaimed in a cocky voice. When I asked her, “Is is true that the only reason you’d wear a mask is that you were forced to…not because you were trying to help the community heal.” She looked at me like I had 3 heads. Alas. Love your poem. Hang in there! Susie
Scott, wow. What a tender assessment. Your empathy in understanding them comes through, even as you remind them.
Time to wipe down
weathered windows
Looking for clear pane
and just-right sunlight
reflecting part of me
into another world.
I love how this is about the literal and the figurative. What window panes in our lives need a good wipe to let in that sunlight. I get the message, friend. Maybe I need to some fall cleaning. Thank you foenyour words.
Shelly, you’ve spoken such sober truth. It’s time, so let’s keep looking for a clear pane and let our sun shine OUT!
Shelly, that just-right sunlight is so needed at this time of year. And it reflects a revamping that is needed (maybe fall cleaning instead of spring?) in so many areas of our lives and spaces.
Shelly, this would be such a good discussion poem about the metaphor of us with our “weathered windows” looking for clarity and light, reflecting ourselves. Also, as I look out my dirty window panes this morning, I am challenged to really clean them.
This is the time of year when our family tries to get together and find it is impossible because of work schedules and commuter traffic. Hence this 20/20 insight…
Holiday Pressure
Holiday pressure?
Then take a refresher.
With life interrupted
and disrupted
celebrate
any date.
Take a chance,
dance and prance.
So true–the pressures to carve out time seemed to disappear in 2020. Love your call to action at the end.
Gosh do I know holiday pressure. So appreciate this call to celebrate any date with an invitation to “dance and prance”!
Oh, the pressure! Taking time to dance and prance is a great remedy for the stress for sure – those mindful and intentional refreshers are so needed every day – especially holidays!
THIS is such an important reminder. Thank you for sharing!
I like your advice to celebrate any date. Why do we do this “holiday pressure” every year?
Oh, boy! I know this all too well. I’ve come to the conclusion that the date matters less than the getting together. Refresher needed!
Good advice to “celebrate any date.” I think of during the first lockdown in 2020, my husband and I celebrated “clean towel Wednesday” and “Salmon Friday” and other days to keep us sane.
POOF! [title excluded]
As I launch these twenty words,
like time,
I believe they are enough,
that all is so clear,
then
poof!
by Susie Morice, October 17, 2021©
Yes, Susie, POOF! That is what happens to me all the time. The words are launched into the virtual space and gone just as my mind is thinking “Come back! I can do better!”
Oh, elusive words. I am loving this “poof” as a poem and as a reflection of time. I am increasingly concerned about how fleeting words have been for me of late.
LOL gotta love the POOF! Honestly, I just responded on yesterday’s post TO YOU, that I was going to scroll down and read your poem since I missed it. Then POOF, here I am reading today’s poem and haven’t even thought once about what I just said to you.
Love it! Love you! I am going back now, promise. ?
Oh, the proofing! Love this. I feel it. I hear it. I experience it. This says so much about the writer’s experiences being a part of the writing.
This poof! is such a wonderful effect here – it brings such magic to your writing. The launch and appearance of the poem.
poof! I love this!
Everyone is loving the “Poof” but I am struck by “I believe they are enough.” How many times are we struck by this realization?
Alas, Susie. The humor and wit wrapped around your words are enchanting, and then there is this slow realization that TIME is not enough…and that final poof is suddenly haunting.
That is something to have learned, Susie. What a great way to describe my chapter in life. “I believe there are enough” years, but anytime the POOF can come, so I am working on daily gratitude for today! Thank you for this fun take on the prompt.
My almost 3 year old grandson spent the night with us last night. He’s up early and has found all the art materials. Hence, this poem.
Making a masterpiece
comes slowly with
creative attention
to bursts of color.
You look up and say,
“A birthday cake!”
Margaret– the is something so sweet and gentle in this. Your “bursts” reminded me of my own thoughts that “poof” this morning. Enjoy that kiddo! Susie
Aw! This burst of color from a three year old is so pure and fun with uninhibited creativity. Love the exploration of a three year old and their interpretations of life.
I can imagine this moment so clearly. Art supplies and grandchildren are essential joys. Love your poem.
I saw your lovely face on Instagram, the NWP page. So great to see you across digital spaces. I love the revelation in this poem with the quotation that captures the joy.
Awww, Margaret! I saw his picture of the dots and that blond hair and it was tugging at my heart. What a perfect moment to capture – the little artist at work, imagining and creating. So touching and sweet!
How wonderful! And the “creative attention” applied to this poem, too — “a masterpiece!”
So cute – I can see the precious scene so clearly.
Oh, I can just see your little guy focused on his artwork “with / creative attention / to bursts of color.” What enthusiasm and joy! I also love that you addressed the poem to him.
Anna, this is another great prompt for our 7th graders! The simplicity and potential complexity of this prompt welcomes every writer. And you take a simple idea (hair) and layer the complexities of its significance into just 20 words so well.
2020
We pivoted
in the year of 2020,
stopped feeling for
what had been
and began searching
for what might be.
Jen — Holy cow, is this ever true! And the magnitude of that is incredible…just that we could have…in the course of one mind-bending year, actually “stopped feeling…” in any way…and yet we did just that…and “began” and new way… a pivot indeed! So fine a poem! Susie
Yes, Jen! We pivoted and still seem to be doing that. So much change going on and I hope it is for the best. Love the image of pivot.
Jen, I read your poem before writing my own. Thanks for the inspiration!
Love the economy of words today and the framing of the poem that asks for and welcomes possibilities. This “might be” is perfect. And that searching is hope.
Jen, I’m feeling this! There’s a degree of hopelessness and gratitude that has crept up on us. Great observation.
Jen, such truth here. The moment of change,
and I love your use of the word pivot. It works beautifully here. What had been and what might be…..the shift in your poem is the literal
shift of the world in our days – moving ahead in a different way from
before. Very real.
This is so true, Jen. Reminds me of that phrase, when a door closes, a windows opens…we had no choice in that pivot, mostly, but we surely did in searching for “what might be.” Hope, that golden thread running through the grayness…
Jen, this poem says so clearly about “searching / for what might be.” Yes, indeed. Thank you. I’m glad you wrote about 2020, such a perfect prompt for a pivotal year in our history. I’m especially hopeful that the search for what might be will include racial justice.
Thank you for this simple yet complex prompt, Anna. There are so many layers in your lines about hair…so many stories.
Survival Mechanism, 2020
Amid grim gray days
and broken things
I dreamed
such vivid dreams
born of birdsong
and rustling
of nearby wings.
Fran, your language resonates, as it always does.I find myself returning to the beauty of your words, again and again. The contrast between grim/broken and the hope arising in birdsong and wings rustling shows us that vividness.
“Such vivid dreams …” gets us through the grim gray days. I love how a small poem can capture a single moment.
Fran — I think you and Jen were on the same wavelength this morning. I do believe that dreaming…and the bird images are partly what got me through 2020…I did, indeed, begin to pay closer attention to “rustling/of nearby wings.” Wonderful! Susie
Fran, “vivid dreams born of bird song and rustling wings” took my breath away! Stirring and beautiful words.
Fran, strong feelings of hope resonate in your poem today – the sound of birdsong is hope on the horizon, but the rustling of nearby wings brings brighter days closer. I love the rhyme,
too – it fits in so naturally! Anyone could read this and feel hope across many different situations. I thought of Covid, but it could apply to so many circumstances. Birds appear so much in your writing – in themes of weightless flight and soaring!
Fran, I love this! I could quote the lines that I like, but I’d end up just quoting the entire thing. It is word-perfect. Thank you!
Fran, what a beauty. I love how you can write poetically in so many forms. Your 20 words of choice here paints a vivid picture for us. The juxtaposition of “grim gray days / and broken things” to “birdsong / and rustling / of nearby wings” is gorgeous.
Anna, what a fascinating form you have shared with us today, this 20/20 poem! I love the clear choices of words in your poem – love the idea that there is spare hair to share, in your signature Anna rhyme scheme. What a great way to inspire reluctant writers and to reinforce the intentionality of words in poetry!
Truth
I thought I knew the culprit.
But then the truth came clear.
Like a cockroach skittering away from
the light.
Kim – your succinct lines pack a powerful punch with the ugly truth skittering away from the light. “Recoil” is the sensation that comes to mind with that cockroach image. You are ever the word-artist, painting vivid images in my mind.
Kim, the cockroach skittering makes that ugly truth all the uglier.Your word choices (culprit, skittering) are perfectly utilized. I always admire your writing, which creates beautiful imagery (even when there’s the challenge of the ugliness of this truth).
Kim — YES! Images of “cockroach skittering” really packs some complex truths…yes, yes, yes! “away from/the light” is so loaded! Dandy 20 words! Susie
Wow! A terrific description of TRUTH that skitters away. That cockroach image gives me a chill because I truly hate them. When I was first married the duplex we lived in was infested and I dreaded turning on the light. In some ways, we often dread turning on the light to truth. Great analogy!
I love how you left us without the details, but that you know the truth now is everything in your poem. The image of “like a cockroach skittering away” is repulsive, as learning some truths can be.
Such truth about hair, Anna! I like that your poem makes me want to hear more than 20 words. There are so many stories in those 20 words. What a fun prompt! It’s good for a busy day for me. I guess the 20/20 got me thinking about the changes in my own eyesight this past year.
Before cataract surgery
I thought the world
was shaded in umber.
Now my eyes remember
too many colors
to number.
Denise, your topic is so relevant, with your cataracts gone so that you can see clearly now in more vibrant hues! I’m hearing the song “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone…it’s gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day!” I’m glad your colors are back!
Thanks, Kim. Lol. Now I’ll be singing/humming that song all day today (which, of course, is perfectly fine since it’s a great song, but, unfortunate, because I can’t carry a tune to save my life)!
This is perfect in so many ways, Denise – the connection to 2020, your eyesight, the rhyming, the occlusion, and the eyes remembering “too many colors to number” – like a revelation of glories that still exist. I am thankful for your healing and for your words, always.
Oh Denise! So wonderful to see colors! Something we take for granted. I remember my mother telling me that she forgot how beautiful the water was.
Denise, you nailed this topic today, connecting our prompt literally while allowing us to see as you now do. Your use of umber and number falls naturally, the spacing of the rhyme emphasizing the contrast of the before and after.
Denise — My cousin just had this very experience…that surgery must be an amazing experience, the before and after! Wow! Since I just got new glasses last week, this resonates with me as well…holy cow, I can see what I’m typing. It’s amazing how I just got foggier and foggier and procrastinated getting new specs. How many colors did I miss!? Good for you, girl! Susie
Denise, I love all the “mmm” sounds in this: “umber,” “my,” “remember,” “many,” “number.” They work so well against the hard “k” sounds of “cataract” and “colors.” This was such fun to read out loud! Thank you!
The clarity and surprise of colors! I’ve had this surgery. Isn’t it just fantastic??!!
Absolutely love the words “shaded in umber” – oh, my! Congrats on successful cataract surgery!!
Denise, I responded by posting the links to the HAIR Trafficking that is done in India. Women are taught to ‘SACRIFICE” their hair to the gods, and then their hair is auctioned off. I’ve not done enough research to learn how the women benefit from the millions of dollars that come from the sale of their hair.
This is so different from what we hear about women whose hair grows quickly who donate it to organizations that serve women who have lost their hair due to cancer and other medical issues!